My husband and compliments - I just don't get it?

[Neenie1]

Anyway, I have been really making some colossal efforts to lose some kgs. So far I have lost 6 1/2 - 7 kg (I am just about down to pre-preg weight with Em so that is an achievement for me)

Anyway, so far no one has really noticed the weight loss which makes it worse because I am one of those people that is really encouraged by other people and all that, so anyway, I have been at my husband for WEEKS to help me out supporting me etc. About the best I've got is him putting our son to bed most nights so I can get started on my evening walks if things have been hectic and I'm not organised he helps out a bit which is great. But I guess I am after a bit of verbal support as well (after all I am probably one of the biggest chatterboxes in the world) so I keep saying to him "do I look skinnier etc etc" and he just makes jokes about it. It's alright for him he's at his biggest he's ever been in his life now (which still is around the healthy weight range for his height and is still around 10 kg lighter than me)

So I said to him yesterday someone commented that I've lost weight today and they noticed and I was all excited about it because it's the first time someone has noticed and said something about it. I don't really go on about how much weight I've lost all the time, I do on here because I feel safe to talk about it but anyway.... I don't do it in real life that much except to one friend from play group who is losing some as well. Anyway... he says to me "It's come off your face" Now what the heck does that mean? I'm standing there looking at him wondering what he is going on about, then he says "it has - go and have a look" So I go and have a look and I don't look so chubby in the cheeks but I just thought it was really odd thing to say.

Ah well, I guess that's why we go so well together lol, we just puzzle each other and try to figure each other out. It's alright - he can't figure me out either lol. You would think after almost 6 years.....

 

[Neenie1]

Oh forgot to add, he's not all THAT bad, he did tell me if I get back down to pre-preg weight with Daniel (which is still another 20kg) he will take me shopping for some new clothes. Now that I can't wait for.

I think he's just wondering if I will do it.

 

[Lil'_Miss_Princess_Aimz]

hey neens, i know how it feels to want support to lose some weight... and i know how it feels to have no1 support u.

congrats to u for losing as much as u have!!! its awesome, and i reckon u should b proud of yourself -- even if no1 else is!

 

[googled]

It's an odd but a great thing to say...

Do you know how hard it is for a guy when they get put in situations where they need to comment about a woman's physicals characteristics.

And often Guys don't value the importances consistantly but depending on what they're focusing on which issue at the time... eg, Work, Kids, Paying Bills...etc

I think thats a great compliment ... it's something I cannot do...

Good on ya "R"

 

[Elesaid]

hey! Well done. 6 kgs is a great amount. And usually, weight does come off the face first, so you will get that for the first 10 kilos. This year, I have lost 18 kilos and the first thing people said to me was that my face looked thinner.

But don't let it discourage you, just keep on keeping on and you will lose those 20 kgs and everyone will be saying wow, look at you, well done!

 

[Neenie1]

Yep thanks. I've lost another kg since then.

 

[Elesaid]

woohoo!

What are you doing to lose it?

 

[Neenie1]

Lots and LOTS of hard work.

I have been eating low fat healthy boring stuff.

And exercising most days. Exercise is normally 1/2 hour walk, sometimes more.

Sometimes I also do an aerobics video (some of these are really dodgy with American accents so I turn the volume down and put the stereo on over the top ROFL)

So it's hard work but it's worth it.

I started doing it so I could wear my wedding rings again, I am tired of the stares from old ladies in shopping centres when I am walking around with 2 kids who look so much like me it's not funny. Also my blood pressure is too high, I haven't had it checked again since I have lost 7 kg but I am hoping it is slowly going down.

 

[Elesaid]

cool, sounds good.

I've been doing TaeBo dvd's, not so much lately, but I like them because they burn so many calories and you get a lot of bang for your buck sort of thing.

www.calorieking.com.au have some pretty nice recipes for low fat.

 

[Neenie1]

Thanks for that.

So far I have lost 7.5 kg.

I am down to 84.5kg from 92kg. Not bad.

Still have 20kg to go minimum. If I can get down to 60kg that would be wonderful (I am only 5'2" I know 60kg is pretty light for someone taller but for me it's just right)

 

[Elesaid]

oh cool. I have no idea what is right for shorter people. I'm 5"7 and am shooting for 65-70kg. Right now I'm 78 and pretty happy with my progress. It gets harder the further I go down though.

 

[MOTHY]

Don't ask! Well, Just don't! OK? Have nothing further to say on the subject!

 

[Kirley]

Anyway, I have been really making some colossal efforts to lose some kgs. So far I have lost 6 1/2 - 7 kg (I am just about down to pre-preg weight with Em so that is an achievement for me)

Anyway, so far no one has really noticed the weight loss which makes it worse because I am one of those people that is really encouraged by other people and all that, so anyway, I have been at my husband for WEEKS to help me out supporting me etc. About the best I've got is him putting our son to bed most nights so I can get started on my evening walks if things have been hectic and I'm not organised he helps out a bit which is great. But I guess I am after a bit of verbal support as well (after all I am probably one of the biggest chatterboxes in the world) so I keep saying to him "do I look skinnier etc etc" and he just makes jokes about it. It's alright for him he's at his biggest he's ever been in his life now (which still is around the healthy weight range for his height and is still around 10 kg lighter than me)

So I said to him yesterday someone commented that I've lost weight today and they noticed and I was all excited about it because it's the first time someone has noticed and said something about it. I don't really go on about how much weight I've lost all the time, I do on here because I feel safe to talk about it but anyway.... I don't do it in real life that much except to one friend from play group who is losing some as well. Anyway... he says to me "It's come off your face" Now what the heck does that mean? I'm standing there looking at him wondering what he is going on about, then he says "it has - go and have a look" So I go and have a look and I don't look so chubby in the cheeks but I just thought it was really odd thing to say.

Ah well, I guess that's why we go so well together lol, we just puzzle each other and try to figure each other out. It's alright - he can't figure me out either lol. You would think after almost 6 years.....

1. boys dont take much notice to change
2. if he is around you heaps (which obviously he will be) he wont be able to notice the changes as obviously as someone who sees you once a fortnite. eg. wen i'm near my sis all the time i cant tell that shes actually had a growth spurt, but wen i'm away from her for like three or four days then see her, i notice it. so maybe thats y he cant really comment cuz he cant see it as obviously as someone else.
3. weight does come off the face first. and since hes with you so often its proly the easiest for him to notice.
4. congrats on how much youve lost so far

 

[Talie]

Kirley makes some excellent points.

I also wanted to add that perahps conciously or unconciously he's not forthcoming with "you look thinner" comments because he is essense saying "you were fat" - which he doesn't want to say?

 

[Mskedi]

I agree with the above.

Many men find it dangerous to say anything about a woman's looks that are not 100% a compliment, and to say that you look better, for example, would be to say that at some point you looked worse. He is very likely trying to be considerate of your feelings, hence the neutral comment about it "coming off your face."

Enjoy your compliments from other people. Tell him and get excited about what you lose, but don't expect too much from him... I'm sure he's proud of you in his own, silent way, and will be happy that you're happy regardless of your size.

And that's something to treasure, really.

 

[tgg]

Hey there Neens,

Congratulations for losing weight - you've done much better than I have. ;-)

As for attaining the correct weight for your figure, remember what Rachel Hunter once said in her shampoo commercial: "It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen".

 

[Neenie1]

LOL, I don't know about that TGG, not if I keep eating what I have been the last week. Must be Christmas, but I've put on 1 1/2 kg.

Time to start making salads again. (yuck)

 

[Neenie1]

Thanks ladies with all your comments.

We have a very open and honest relationship, I wouldn't be offended if he told me I looked awful as opposed to now, lol, he would probably make a joke about it, apologise and tell me I'm gorgeous now though and it would be OK.

Then I would pick on something that he can't do and make a joke about it. For example he needs to go to physio every couple of weeks because of a bad back and really tight hamstring muscles, so I come home after a walk and put my leg over the back of a chair to stretch my muscles out and rub it in that there's no way on earth he can do that. (that's only if he has been giving me a hard time)

I think it's important to have a sense of humour so long as we know the other's limits it's OK (and after nearly 6 years - it will be 6 years in April) we have established those limits that you don't go over - you just don't do it, not if you want to come any where near me for a week ROFL.

 

[Elesaid]

Time to start making salads again. (yuck)

I've been having green salads too. What do you put in them? I just got an idea from a lady, she added corn and avocado to it and it tasted nice. I don't usually like avocado, but I do in salad now.

 

[Kirley]

I've been having green salads too. What do you put in them? I just got an idea from a lady, she added corn and avocado to it and it tasted nice. I don't usually like avocado, but I do in salad now.

You've never heard of that before??? i've had corn in salad my whole life lol. as for advocado i havent been a big fan of it but my grandma always has it with salad... alot of ppl spread it on bread like butter when they have salad sandwhiches