Then please get your Bible out* and read Genesis 2 for yourself, and see if it squares with evolution.
* I'm almost positive you "wouldn't know and wouldn't cares" of the world secretly have a Bible in your house.
AV, of course it doesn't "square" with evolution, and I don't think we should expect it too. In my view, or actually the view of Christians like those at
BioLogos, these first few chapters in Genesis are representational accounts, poetic and metaphorical in nature.
If there's any "framing" going on, as you've suggested in another kind of literary way, it is that Genesis 2 and 3 (and 1) are written as cosmogonic accounts which are placed as an ontological prelude to the book of Genesis, all of which is structured within the parameters of ancient Jewish genealogies and legal thought. It's not 'history' as we often think of it today, but it is revelatory in nature and it sets up God's truth, however representational and poetic it may be. It's main intent is to inform us that God is Creator and Lord of His Creation, Lord of all of humanity. Moreover, as far my research tells me, Genesis 1, 2, and 3 aren't indicating "how" God made the world or how long it actually took; rather it's telling us who made Heaven and Earth and all that is in it. It's not science, nor was in intended to be.
But, when you insist that it could be, should be, might be compared to today's insights about Natural History and the progress of Evolution of life on earth, then you're in effect 'bending' the context to meet a modern purpose that it wasn't originally written to address.
And when you do that, it's enough to make some people want to read a
MAD magazine backwards, and exclaim it as they do it!
