my friend the bisexual

[timmyturtle]

hey everyone, this is my first time on a forum so i dont really know what to do. but here goes...

my problem is that my best friend is bisexual and well aparently a "Christian"...but she keep changing her mind about it. she wants to follow God but then she doesnt but then she wants to be a better person. shes decided for the moment that shes doesnt want God in her life but maybe will change her mind later on. at the moment she is with a girl and this upsets me as her best friend. i want her to follow Christ but well i guess it's her choice. at several points they have almost broken up but then just keep going back out and hooking-up so to speak...if u ask me i think its more of a sexual relationship. and they are so obsessed with each other and it kinda disturbs me. yet i respect her for who she is and if she wants to be that way then thats her choice i guess. i just really care about her and want her to make the right decisions in life, she tells me she knows what shes doing but well she always seems to be depressed about her girlfriend coz they always seem to be constantly fighting and then 5 minutes later they make up again and then the next day the same thing happens. its the weirdest relationship and i know its wrong but she doesnt wanna give up her girlfriend. she loves her too much.

so what should i do? does any1 have any advice? should i just butt out and let her live her own life?? i guess im just concerned for her. but is it any of my business?!? please help

 

[NoMoreRunningAway]

I'm bisexual and a Christian.

I also do NOT and WILL NOT do ANYTHING with a female. I try to keep my mind away from looking at females, and though at some times this is very hard for me, other times it's very easy to keep my mind, well, straight.

Remind her that if she decides to spend the rest of her life with a female, she will never be rightly married under God. Some churches marry same sex couples now, and there are many places where this is now legal, but that does not mean it is a true Holy Union.

She will never be able to share in the joy of sex with a partner through God, or have children. She can adopt, but they will never be hers. Also, she will find that she will make many Christians uncomfortable.

Me looking at other females is not love, it's confusion and lust. But make sure you don't yell at her or argue with her too much. Instead, calmly show her in the Bible where is says it is against Christian beliefs to engage in homosexuality. If she really does want to be a Christian, then she has to stop this behavior and keep her thoughts and feelings under control. Also remind yourself that it's very normal for females to think another female is attractive, so she may actually only think she is bisexual. If she is engaging in sexual intercourse with the other girl, then she may think she is bisexual simply because she is being sexually satisfied, which of course is not true. Many males as well think they are gay or bisexual if they enjoy sexual intercourse with another male, when really, they just liked the feeling.

And if being with another girl is causing her this much grief, maybe that's there to tell her something!!!

 

[GreyWing]

I'm also a bisexual Christian, as is my ex-girlfriend (duh). I was present when a couple "friends" told her that she was officially kicked off the council in the Youth Alive group at school, and that still sorely rankles. The discussion didn't change her, nor did it change me, so pushing it definitely won't help your purpose.

As for the ups and downs in her relationship, I think that just comes with the territory. A good friend of mine (a lesbian) seems to have the weirdest relationship record. She does get rather obsessed over a current girlfriend and then one week later seem to hate her. .::shrugs::. I don't get it. It might just be her, I'm sure. I've known most of her girlfriends and they're all great people.

I'm probably the minority on here in that I don't think homosexuals or bisexuals should be condemned. And that's where the liberal part of my nature steps in.

It seems to me that, at the moment, your friend is really confused. Just give her a bit of time and a chance to sort herself out. It took me quite a while to settle. Patience is all I can say.

 

[timmyturtle]

HEY thanx so much. yeah iv been trying all that stuff and she just dont wanna hear it anymore so im just gonna keep being her friend i guess and tryna help her the best i can. and pray pray pray coz God is awesum!
thanx agen ur so much help

 

[Cristiano]

Tim
Right now it looks like she does not want God in her life as you said. She constantly changes her mind. My advice is to love your best friend unconditionally. The other poster was correct in her observations about not being right before God (if they are sexually active, otherwise, who cares?). However, if she does not have a relationship with God and maybe was just raised "religious" or "grew up in a church", then showing her Bible verses or whatever could or could not help. Chances are, if she was raised in a church, she knows what the verses say. Most people know that Christians do not condone homosexuality in general. If she wants to engage in a debate over translations, do research so you can show her verses that are clear on the purpose of being man and wife. BUT, DO NOT DO IT unless God sets up an appointment or she initiates conversation. If she is your best friend, love her no matter what. Only through love can you change the world. If she asks you about it, tell her that your faith does not consider it appropriate behavior, but it doesn't mean you love her any less. Some of my best friends practice premarital sex and get drunk, but do I love them any less? The answer is NO. They know that I don't believe in premarital sex or drunkenness, and respect me for it. If she IS a believer, engage her in spiritual talk about how she feels about it and where she is at with God. If she claims to have a tight walk with God and still wants to do her own thing and live for herself, it may mean distancing yourself from her. I am a Christian guy who struggles with same sex attraction, so I know from experience. I hope all this helps. God bless

hey everyone, this is my first time on a forum so i dont really know what to do. but here goes...

my problem is that my best friend is bisexual and well aparently a "Christian"...but she keep changing her mind about it. she wants to follow God but then she doesnt but then she wants to be a better person. shes decided for the moment that shes doesnt want God in her life but maybe will change her mind later on. at the moment she is with a girl and this upsets me as her best friend. i want her to follow Christ but well i guess it's her choice. at several points they have almost broken up but then just keep going back out and hooking-up so to speak...if u ask me i think its more of a sexual relationship. and they are so obsessed with each other and it kinda disturbs me. yet i respect her for who she is and if she wants to be that way then thats her choice i guess. i just really care about her and want her to make the right decisions in life, she tells me she knows what shes doing but well she always seems to be depressed about her girlfriend coz they always seem to be constantly fighting and then 5 minutes later they make up again and then the next day the same thing happens. its the weirdest relationship and i know its wrong but she doesnt wanna give up her girlfriend. she loves her too much.

so what should i do? does any1 have any advice? should i just butt out and let her live her own life?? i guess im just concerned for her. but is it any of my business?!? please help

 

[Johnnz]

Also remind yourself that it's very normal for females to think another female is attractive, so she may actually only think she is bisexual. If she is engaging in sexual intercourse with the other girl, then she may think she is bisexual simply because she is being sexually satisfied, which of course is not true. Many males as well think they are gay or bisexual if they enjoy sexual intercourse with another male, when really, they just liked the feeling.

There are quite a few confused young people who need to understand this.

John
NZ