You gave into your spiritual/emotional needs. You comprimised your search and your methods to satisfy your needs. I have also heard that the Orthodox Church has awesome services and makes one feel enveloped in the presence of God and of truth and genuine experience of God. One is made instantly to feel in the presence of holiness. Most likely, you experienced this and were overtaken with it all. The experience, coupled with your spiritual/emotional needs (you mentioned drug use in your journal, for example; this indicates some kind of need for structure) and you latched onto it. It made you happy, and so you stick to it.
Precisely! This is how we agnostics and atheists see it.
For us religion does not solve anything, and we have a right to think that way. But, more often than not, as it happened with me tonight, religious fanatics often take the argument like this:
Fanatic: I'm right!
Me: Well... what's your argument again?
Fanataic: God exists!
Me: Can you give me objective evidence?
Fanatic: I don't have to, you only need faith!
Me: I don't work on faith.
Fanatic: You just don't know God
Me: Once again, can you provide any objective evidence?
Fanatic: I'm right! You're wrong!
Me: What?
Fanatic: You'll burn in hell!
And yes that happened with me tonight.
Didn't christ teach to live and let live? Or was that Ghandi? Either way, it is no good to be closed-minded about other opinions.
I mean if anyone provided any actual evidence for a god, or against evolution, or against the big bang, or even naturalistic explainations, then I'd LOVE to hear it.
The whole world would like to know about it. In fact, you'd probably become world famous and get a Nobel prize if you could do any of those things.
But the hand is a dud, the holder is bluffing, and all that he has going for him is the chance to bluff everyone into a fold. And when someone calls him out and he can't back it up, thats it.
Yet with religion it's different. Often the holder is so dogmatic that he leaves the table and burns his cards lest anyone find out he was bluffing.