My brother's suicide

[MyHeart07]

My brother committed suicide on Nov. 23 and I'm quite puzzled at my reaction so far.

Why am i not grieving more??? He and I were close and what he did was a final act of complete selfishness, leaving all of us behind with feelings of guilt and complete loss.

I myself and suffering from depression, panic/anxiety attacks and am bi-polar. I think that my lack of feelings may be a defence mechanism and I'm just not allowing myself to feel anything or I will go mad.

 

[Jayangel81]

Hey MonCoeur,

I truly am sorry to hear about youre brother..Suicide is a terrible thing. ive known 2 different people 1 a friend and the other a sisters best friend.. i dont think i went thru the emotions right away either..than again i was a monster back than so i donno..

I personally think youre putting youre defenses up. Its ok to let them down, speak to God about it.

I pray for youre brother that God forgives him.

Take Care and God bless!

 

[sunshine]

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Grief has many stages, and what you're going through right now is pretty normal. Just allow yourself to feel a range of emotions, from anger to sadness to numbness. Everyone is different and sometimes it takes awhile for everything that's happened to truly "sink in".

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I'm sorry about your brother. Like sunshine said, there are many stages to grief and they range from denial to anger to despair and so on. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though, and eventually we recover from grief.

 

[ferry]

Hi MonCoeur,

I know exactly how you felt. My lovely brother did the same thing two months ago. My heart is totally broken.

I know how tough the time you and your family have gone through. Sometimes things just happened and no one can get control over them.

Dont try to cover up your feeling. No one will expect you to be happy in these periods. I believe tears can heal.

Pray when you feel you are at the bottom of your life. The road leading to recovery is long and tough, but you will get through it only if you are willing to step out.

You are not alone. At least I am the one who can share the sadness with you.

Read Psalm 90. Remember your brother is watching you from the heaven.

 

[Nilla]

praying for you...if you ever need to talk or some prayers...pm me if you don't see me online.

s

I know what you're going through. (to a certain extent) I lost my brother four years ago.

Nilla

 

[lindaunderwood]

quite puzzled at my reaction so far

150 years or so ago, it was the norm for children to have come face to face with the death of a close relative (sometimes several times) before they reached adulthood.

These days, it's possible to reach middle age before experiencing a close death. Don't be puzzled at your reaction. Death affects people differently, and there is no set format or process. Your brother was unique. You are unique. His death was unique. Your mourning is unique -- and God understands your uniqueness.

 

[TexasSky]

My brother committed suicide on Nov. 23 and I'm quite puzzled at my reaction so far.

Why am i not grieving more??? He and I were close and what he did was a final act of complete selfishness, leaving all of us behind with feelings of guilt and complete loss.

I myself and suffering from depression, panic/anxiety attacks and am bi-polar. I think that my lack of feelings may be a defence mechanism and I'm just not allowing myself to feel anything or I will go mad.

You may be numb.
You may have seen it coming, and feel more of a sense of, "Well, the waiting for it is over."

Whatever you are feeling, it is not wrong to feel it, and I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[ladyt28]

Hon, I wouldn't call depression and panic-attacks a lack of feeling. I agree that you may be numb.....and angry. I'm glad you're here with us at CF. Pray to our Lord Father and let Him guide you through this. God Bless You!!

 

[ChristianFriend2012]

I can relate, it's been about a year now since my brother died in his sleep. Some think it was a suicide, others think it was just "one of those things". I've dealt with a lot of crap in the past; hard drug addictions, etc. nothing was as hard as this though. Apparently it's true; some bird's wings are too colorful to be caged. I've read Steven Levine's book "Who Dies?" a couple times now, and I guess there's some kind of formula for dealing with grief; (in order) denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance. I've found that to be very true so far. The first 6 months I was a wreck almost non-stop, the 6 months after that I began feeling like I was coming out of a fog of some kind. And now it's been a year, I think I'm finally starting to deal with it. My brother was a great guy, my best friend, and rather than blame him for leaving so soon, I'm going to thank him for the time that I was able to share with him. Because I've found that his words/philosophies/ideas are still going through my mind as much as ever, and often make me break out laughing in otherwise stressful situations. Almost like having him there at the time making me laugh. I think that our brothers would prefer we accept what happened and just keep on keepin' on and living our lives. It gets better, take care and God Bless You.