My Atheist sister becomes religious

[Äzer Salzar]

Hello everybody my name is Äzer (aye-zer) and I'm having difficulties with my sister. I'd like to start from the beginning so if you don't have a lot of time i'd suggest turning back now.
I'm currently 17 years old my sister, Dante (Don-taye) is currently 15 years old. We were raised and baptized in the Lutheran Church but my sister was always different than the other kids. in the third grade she started questioning religion, we went to Lutheran private school and she started saying that she did not believe in Jesus, she didn't see any wrong with saying that she was only speaking her mind, but the other students Where confused and refused to talk to her. It started getting really bad and fifth grade she would start coming home with bruises and the once social girl never talked, One day in the middle of the year my single mother got a call from the school saying that she had gotten beat up at school by a group of kids claiming that she was a demon and they didn't want her there. Shortly after that my sister was enrolled in public school for a fresh start and everything was fine she made friends with our neighbors, a Mormon family two parents five kids. She was your average middle school girl until summer of seventh grade when the Mormon family I mentioned earliers uncle went crazy and shot the whole family and forced there eldest daughter two watch, the eldest daughter was shot but she lived as the soul survivor, I remember that day me and my sister where in the yard when she saw the uncle leaving the house she ran up and greeted him unaware of what he had done. She was heartbroken, when she found out, every time she sees the eldest sister she runs away. The whole eighth-grade year she refused to talk to anybody. She wouldn't eat either, she never likes eating a meal in the morning her stomach is very sensitive so she usually just waits a while but with a school schedule that's not really possible so she usually just skiped breakfast and ate lunch, but that year she stopped eating lunches refuses to go into the lunch room she said she was too scared of it, I never have understood why, she doesn't like eating infront of people as a result of her private school years she's never been fat but she's never been skinny, but the kids would cal her pig and 'oink' at her when she walked by so she usually just eats her food upstairs in her closet, so I have no clue if she eats dinner or not. at the end of her eighth-grade year we were able to get her to go to a end-of-school-off-to-high-school party, me and my mom thought it would be great and it was until it recently came to me and mothers attention that she was molested at that party. She's a freshmen now, she's afraid to go to the cafeteria saying that out of all the white kids at our school at least one has to have a gun in their backpack, she won't sit with her back facing a door, has problems communicating to other people, and has been diagnosed with severe depression and will possibly have to finish out her high school years in a mental hospital
Around the fourth grade my mom confiscated a bunch books she had gotten on witchcraft she has recently confessed to me that she has joined a pagan religion now at first I was really confused as to why she would join a pagan religion Out of all religions, but then I realized as we were both watching a dog show on TV and a dog came on with the same name as one of the gods in her religion, she started crying and that's when I saw in her the the same feeling I get when I speak to God, I wasn't very tolerant of her religion and got upset every time she spoke of it or wore it's symbols, but as soon as that happened I felt oddly at ease. but still I'm having problems accepting this, what would you do? Also the main reason I told you all this story is because I need help I pray and pray and pray, but is there anything I can do for her, i feel useless, my sister has been suffering for so long, anything you would recommend?
Sorry for broken English it was not my first language

 

[seashale76]

Just out of curiosity, do you live in the US?

Anyway, long story short, your sister started off vocal about her religious skepticism, was bullied at your private Christian school because of it and had to switch to public school, had some horrible things occur to her such as her friend's family being killed by someone she also knew and she was molested at a party, and now she has major emotional issues such as depression and a possible eating disorder, is paranoid, and has become a pagan (likely because she views it as fascinating and it has hippie/love connotations for a lot of people which can be a draw for seekers). Of course your sister has issues! She's had to put up with a lot and she's attempting to cope the best way she knows, but she's only fifteen.

Well, you're right about prayer. Of course, you pray for her. However, has your mom put her in counseling? I think she definitely needs to be there. She has quite a lot going on and there is going to be no quick fix. Honestly, I think your entire family could benefit from some counseling. In the meantime, pray, be patient with her, and talk to your mom about getting help.

 

[Äzer Salzar]

Just out of curiosity, do you live in the US?

Anyway, long story short, your sister started off vocal about her religious skepticism, was bullied at your private Christian school because of it and had to switch to public school, had some horrible things occur to her such as her friend's family being killed by someone she also knew and she was molested at a party, and now she has major emotional issues such as depression and a possible eating disorder, is paranoid, and has become a pagan (likely because she views it as fascinating and it has hippie/love connotations for a lot of people which can be a draw for seekers). Of course your sister has issues! She's had to put up with a lot and she's attempting to cope the best way she knows, but she's only fifteen.

Well, you're right about prayer. Of course, you pray for her. However, has your mom put her in counseling? I think she definitely needs to be there. She has quite a lot going on and there is going to be no quick fix. Honestly, I think your entire family could benefit from some counseling. In the meantime, pray, be patient with her, and talk to your mom about getting help.

Thank you, and yeah I felt kind of dumb posting this, but I really just want advice, my mum is willing to pay for hospital and stuff like that, but they don't get along well at all I hate to say it, but uh my mum is really close minded and won't tolerate her being non-Christian and plans to kick her out as soon as she's 18, I'm planning on moving out by 19 and taking my sister with me, but for now my mom won't pay for anything she doesn't have to so counciling is out of the question, but I think my mum is planning to have her live full time in the hospital meaning we will only see her once a week and i think she'll be forced to see a psychiatrist because it's part of the package deal so that parts great
Also yes we live in Texas, my mothers from Russia (we where born there) and my father is from Denmark

 

[seashale76]

Thank you, and yeah I felt kind of dumb posting this, but I really just want advice, my mum is willing to pay for hospital and stuff like that, but they don't get along well at all I hate to say it, but uh my mum is really close minded and won't tolerate her being non-Christian and plans to kick her out as soon as she's 18, I'm planning on moving out by 19 and taking my sister with me, but for now my mom won't pay for anything she doesn't have to so counciling is out of the question, but I think my mum is planning to have her live full time in the hospital meaning we will only see her once a week and i think she'll be forced to see a psychiatrist because it's part of the package deal so that parts great
Also yes we live in Texas, my mothers from Russia (we where born there) and my father is from Denmark

Well, if she's going to be in the hospital then she will likely get the help that she needs. While there will be a psychiatrist, they tend to diagnose and medicate, but they don't do counseling. The good thing about those hospitals is that they have healthcare teams that also have nurses and psychologists. The psychologist is the one that will be doing the counseling. There will be group therapy, she will be in the milieu (patients have to interact with others in a psychiatric hospital), and she will still have school (they have teachers attached).

While I think it is kind of a drastic first step (I would do counseling before having her admitted to a psychiatric hospital), at least your mom is looking into it, and your sister will get help there. If it's any consolation, I've recently done my nursing clinicals in a psychiatric hospital and my cousin is a psychologist and has worked in such a setting for a while now, and we have both seen people get the help they need.

 

[John Davidson]

Hello everybody my name is Äzer (aye-zer) and I'm having difficulties with my sister. I'd like to start from the beginning so if you don't have a lot of time i'd suggest turning back now.
I'm currently 17 years old my sister, Dante (Don-taye) is currently 15 years old. We were raised and baptized in the Lutheran Church but my sister was always different than the other kids. in the third grade she started questioning religion, we went to Lutheran private school and she started saying that she did not believe in Jesus, she didn't see any wrong with saying that she was only speaking her mind, but the other students Where confused and refused to talk to her. It started getting really bad and fifth grade she would start coming home with bruises and the once social girl never talked, One day in the middle of the year my single mother got a call from the school saying that she had gotten beat up at school by a group of kids claiming that she was a demon and they didn't want her there. Shortly after that my sister was enrolled in public school for a fresh start and everything was fine she made friends with our neighbors, a Mormon family two parents five kids. She was your average middle school girl until summer of seventh grade when the Mormon family I mentioned earliers uncle went crazy and shot the whole family and forced there eldest daughter two watch, the eldest daughter was shot but she lived as the soul survivor, I remember that day me and my sister where in the yard when she saw the uncle leaving the house she ran up and greeted him unaware of what he had done. She was heartbroken, when she found out, every time she sees the eldest sister she runs away. The whole eighth-grade year she refused to talk to anybody. She wouldn't eat either, she never likes eating a meal in the morning her stomach is very sensitive so she usually just waits a while but with a school schedule that's not really possible so she usually just skiped breakfast and ate lunch, but that year she stopped eating lunches refuses to go into the lunch room she said she was too scared of it, I never have understood why, she doesn't like eating infront of people as a result of her private school years she's never been fat but she's never been skinny, but the kids would cal her pig and 'oink' at her when she walked by so she usually just eats her food upstairs in her closet, so I have no clue if she eats dinner or not. at the end of her eighth-grade year we were able to get her to go to a end-of-school-off-to-high-school party, me and my mom thought it would be great and it was until it recently came to me and mothers attention that she was molested at that party. She's a freshmen now, she's afraid to go to the cafeteria saying that out of all the white kids at our school at least one has to have a gun in their backpack, she won't sit with her back facing a door, has problems communicating to other people, and has been diagnosed with severe depression and will possibly have to finish out her high school years in a mental hospital
Around the fourth grade my mom confiscated a bunch books she had gotten on witchcraft she has recently confessed to me that she has joined a pagan religion now at first I was really confused as to why she would join a pagan religion Out of all religions, but then I realized as we were both watching a dog show on TV and a dog came on with the same name as one of the gods in her religion, she started crying and that's when I saw in her the the same feeling I get when I speak to God, I wasn't very tolerant of her religion and got upset every time she spoke of it or wore it's symbols, but as soon as that happened I felt oddly at ease. but still I'm having problems accepting this, what would you do? Also the main reason I told you all this story is because I need help I pray and pray and pray, but is there anything I can do for her, i feel useless, my sister has been suffering for so long, anything you would recommend?
Sorry for broken English it was not my first language

Hi Azer,
I am also Lutheran.

I am sorry to hear about your problems with your sister.

Do you think you could talk her into having a meeting with your Pastor?

Maybe you should buy her some Christian books?

I think counseling is a necessity in this situation.

In the meantime continue to pray and be a witness to her.