Mutual Support for Disabled and/or Homebound Orthodox Christians

[Joanna-Innokentovna]

Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord, have mercy on us.

Due to disability, I am unable to attend Divine Services in person. I also know firsthand how it is to be "different" in church, and to have a priest who does not seem to know how to provide guidance and support in this circumstance (at least my own, I cannot speak for others).

I have known others whose parishes did not provide accommodations (including a sight & hearing impaired man whose parish and bishop would not let him come into the church with his seeing eye dog, a situation which ultimately caused him to leave the Church).

Rather than letting these experiences become stumbling blocks, I thought it could be helpful for those of us living with various degrees of disability and/or isolation to console, encourage, and offer resources to one another.

What is your parish or archdiocese getting right when it comes to disability? What difficulties have you experienced and how, if applicable, were they mitigated or solved? Where have you found support beyond your own parish, archdiocese, or jurisdiction? What needs do you have that have not yet been met or addressed?

St. Seraphim of Sarov was beaten and suffered back pain for the rest of his life, St. Paul had a "thorn" - who else among the Saints have you found who lived with disability?

Here are a few pages that I found to be helpful for both those of us who live with disability and for those who have never considered this aspect of Christian community in the Body of Christ:
Parish Ministry Resources - Disability and Communion
DISABILITY IN THE ORTHODOX PARISH: A CALL TO LOVE by Charlotte Riggle
Orthodox Theological Perspectives on Disability Urge Churches to be More Inclusive - Christian Newswire
Disability Resources - Summer Kinard (Has anyone here read her book?)

Looking forward to connecting with others here in similar circumstances.

St. Seraphim of Sarov, pray to God for us!

 

[ArmyMatt]

you can also check out the life of St Nikiforos the leper

 

[dzheremi]

For me, I have had to explain beforehand to both my parish priest and to the people at the monastery I visited 8 years ago the basics of my health situation and how it impacts my ability to physically participate in services, but they seemed fine with it after worshiping together for a while. I have mobility and balance issues, so obviously spending the majority of the services standing is not really possible for me, and there are certain prescribed actions that are modified for my sake. For instance, when it comes time to publicly venerate the Gospel book from which the readings are done, while the others line up to kiss it and the priest's hand and hand cross, father brings it to me where I am so that I can also venerate it properly without having to chance standing in line. Also, whereas father used to reliably ask me to do the day's reading from the catholic epistle since I was the only native English speaker who is an adult male, at some point (I think after being talked to by some of the other laypeople who were concerned about me being hurt/in pain) he switched to asking "Do you feel that you can do the reading today?", which is a small change but so very nice. And I remember that I did have to say no sometimes (some of those readings are too long for me to stand for all of them, unfortunately), and there was never any issue made of it. So I would say that my own parish was quite good at least in dealing with my disability. I don't know what was available at a diocesan level, and unfortunately I am not in that diocese anymore, so I haven't kept up with their programs.

I think most things are like this. Everyone who shows up wants to worship God in spirit and in truth, and so we should be allowed to just as anyone is. To me this is no different than, say, offering services in the local language. We either want everyone to participate with understanding to the maximum of what is possible for them, or we do not. Abba Didymus the Blind invented what was basically a precursor to Braille over a millennia before Braille would be devised, so it is not like this is some new, 'PC' stance or something, either. I realize that nowhere is perfect and there is always a learning curve (so don't give up if people are not as helpful as they could be! We are to bare one another in love, right?), but I feel quite good so far with regard to this topic, for the most part. It could be a lot worse!

 

[truefiction1]

We have people with disabilities who attend Liturgy at our parish. I guess it depends on the nature of a person's disability whether or not we're adequately prepared, or equipped to accommodate them or not. My sense is that if we were aware of a need for us to make changes in order to help a person be present in Liturgy that we would strive to do so. But then again, some cases might present difficulties which exceed our present amount of virtue.

 

[Joanna-Innokentovna]

For me, I have had to explain beforehand to both my parish priest and to the people at the monastery I visited 8 years ago the basics of my health situation and how it impacts my ability to physically participate in services, but they seemed fine with it after worshiping together for a while...For instance, when it comes time to publicly venerate the Gospel book from which the readings are done, while the others line up to kiss it and the priest's hand and hand cross, father brings it to me where I am so that I can also venerate it properly without having to chance standing in line. Also, whereas father used to reliably ask me to do the day's reading from the catholic epistle since I was the only native English speaker who is an adult male, at some point (I think after being talked to by some of the other laypeople who were concerned about me being hurt/in pain) he switched to asking "Do you feel that you can do the reading today?", which is a small change but so very nice...feel quite good so far with regard to this topic, for the most part. It could be a lot worse!

I'm very glad that you have been able to advocate for yourself, that others have advocated for you, and that your priest has freely adapted to your situation. This sounds like a model for accessibility, at least with respect to participation in the Divine Services!

 

[Joanna-Innokentovna]

...I guess it depends on the nature of a person's disability whether or not we're adequately prepared, or equipped to accommodate them or not. My sense is that if we were aware of a need for us to make changes in order to help a person be present in Liturgy that we would strive to do so. But then again, some cases might present difficulties which exceed our present amount of virtue.

In the United States, at least, accommodations in places of worship are wholly dependent on virtue, where in other cases (shopping centers, day care centers, theaters, private schools, and so on), they are mandated by federal law. This is the difficulty for many people, as their needs may be poorly understood, either because others have no experience with a type of disability, are uncomfortable with it, and/or because the person with a disability is unable to meaningfully advocate for themselves and has no one else available to do this on their behalf.

I started this thread so that those of us who are struggling with these issues can encourage and console each other and perhaps find possible solutions together in particular instances. I also started it for those of us who (like me) are no longer able to attend services as a matter of ability and/or because our particular disabilities "exceed the present amount of virtue", as you mentioned, of our clergy and/or fellow parishioners.

Not all disabilities are visible or plain to others or are understood to be disabilities when they manifest. There are often additional barriers such as poor transportation access, shame over financial inability to contribute meaningfully (aka poverty), or embarrassment/fear of "creating a scene" due to symptoms beyond their control.

There are many, many people who have given up on attending services because of the barriers involved in getting to services, being able to make it through services, being unkindly treated by others after making great effort to get ready and show up, or fear of/shame about "being a burden". Some of us are able to form relationships with clergy sufficient to participate in the life of the parish in some way; many of us are not. Many of us "just disappear" from services and no one follows up, either because they are secretly glad we are gone (hard to write, hard to read, but often true) or because they are oblivious or indifferent.

I am writing this not as a repudiation but in order to make the situation more plain for those who may see this and have not previously given this much (or any) thought. Lord, have mercy on us.

 

[truefiction1]

In the United States, at least, accommodations in places of worship are wholly dependent on virtue, where in other cases (shopping centers, day care centers, theaters, private schools, and so on), they are mandated by federal law. This is the difficulty for many people, as their needs may be poorly understood, either because others have no experience with a type of disability, are uncomfortable with it, and/or because the person with a disability is unable to meaningfully advocate for themselves and has no one else available to do this on their behalf.

I started this thread so that those of us who are struggling with these issues can encourage and console each other and perhaps find possible solutions together in particular instances. I also started it for those of us who (like me) are no longer able to attend services as a matter of ability and/or because our particular disabilities "exceed the present amount of virtue", as you mentioned, of our clergy and/or fellow parishioners.

Not all disabilities are visible or plain to others or are understood to be disabilities when they manifest. There are often additional barriers such as poor transportation access, shame over financial inability to contribute meaningfully (aka poverty), or embarrassment/fear of "creating a scene" due to symptoms beyond their control.

There are many, many people who have given up on attending services because of the barriers involved in getting to services, being able to make it through services, being unkindly treated by others after making great effort to get ready and show up, or fear of/shame about "being a burden". Some of us are able to form relationships with clergy sufficient to participate in the life of the parish in some way; many of us are not. Many of us "just disappear" from services and no one follows up, either because they are secretly glad we are gone (hard to write, hard to read, but often true) or because they are oblivious or indifferent.

I am writing this not as a repudiation but in order to make the situation more plain for those who may see this and have not previously given this much (or any) thought. Lord, have mercy on us.

Status quo parishes generally aren't socially equipped to accommodate many people of disability. I don't think this can be overcome in many instances. However, the solution to this lies in the establishment of special parishes, wherein the very ministry of these is to serve the physical and spiritual needs of the disabled and the poor. St. John the Compassionate Mission sort of does this, though they are generally oriented towards serving the homeless people in the Toronto downtown area. We ought to be working on founding more such parishes. But it takes people of this distinct election, or calling to do this, who also possess the needed abilities.

 

[Joanna-Innokentovna]

However, the solution to this lies in the establishment of special parishes, wherein the very ministry of these is to serve the physical and spiritual needs of the disabled and the poor.

As someone who is both disabled and poor (as a result of being disabled), I can tell you that this kind of attitude ("Someone should do something for/about 'those people'!") is among several related reasons why I left the Church, and why a mutual support thread for people who are disabled and/or homebound was created.

There is a longstanding tradition started by the Holy Unmercenaries of providing housing and treatment for people who are ill and/or disabled but that is a separate issue. I am speaking here of participating in the life of the Holy Orthodox Church, being a living member of the Body of Christ, and partaking of the Holy Supper, to which Christ calls everyone.

I would appreciate input here from other disabled and/or homebound people, and/or a member of the clergy. I have done my best not to speak wrongly but am greatly upset.

 

[truefiction1]

As someone who is both disabled and poor (as a result of being disabled), I can tell you that this kind of attitude ("Someone should do something for/about 'those people'!") is among several related reasons why I left the Church, and why a mutual support thread for people who are disabled and/or homebound was created.

There is a longstanding tradition started by the Holy Unmercenaries of providing housing and treatment for people who are ill and/or disabled but that is a separate issue. I am speaking here of participating in the life of the Holy Orthodox Church, being a living member of the Body of Christ, and partaking of the Holy Supper, to which Christ calls everyone.

I would appreciate input here from other disabled and/or homebound people, and/or a member of the clergy. I have done my best not to speak wrongly but am greatly upset.

There are some people who are disabled with mental illnesses that can lead to crises, and even episodes of violence. These are the sorts of disabilities I was thinking of, so I don't think you should be getting upset at my suggestion. There ought to be a house for the poor in every city. It's even required by a Church Canon law.

I have an autistic son. I have gone to the homes of the poor in my city, to pick them up to bring them to Liturgy if they want to come, including some who are severely disabled. I am also clergy. The poor and disabled are certainly welcomed and encouraged to come. It seems I've been misunderstood. My apologies for not making myself clearer.

 

[Joanna-Innokentovna]

God bless you. Thank you for your clarifications.

 

[ArmyMatt]

and St Matrona of Moscow as another disabled saint.

 

[All4Christ]

Our parish is home to many who are disabled, sick, poor, etc. We have multiple people with varying levels of moderate to severe intellectual disabilities, autism, Down syndrome, physical disabilities and more. Everyone is part of our family. All are welcome and all are encouraged to come. If transportation is needed, it is offered. Chairs are available for anyone who needs them, including stools for people in the choir who cannot stand for long periods of time. Many also have afflictions that are not known to everyone else.


My personal medical issue is epilepsy. I don’t like to think of it as a disability, though technically it would be included in the category. I’m thankful that my parish members were more than happy to help with driving when I couldn’t drive myself due to episodes.

Some other practical ways my parish helps me is to ensure that any fading lights are not blinking (flashing lights can be a trigger), chairs nearby in case it is needed, assistance with any transportation, awareness of what to watch for in case of episodes occurring, etc.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Our parish is home to many who are disabled, sick, poor, etc. Everyone is part of our family. All are welcome and all are encouraged to come. If transportation is needed, it is offered. Many also have afflictions that are not known to everyone else.



My personal medical issue is epilepsy. I don’t like to think of it as a disability, though technically it would be included in the category. I’m thankful that my parish members were more than happy to help with driving when I couldn’t drive myself due to episodes.

my spiritual father and confessor at Seminary was disabled, and he was awesome.

 

[ArmyMatt]

aaannndddd Moses was a stutterer

 

[GoatsandRoses]

I am struggling with this, too. I enjoy going to church, and agree it's important. Our closest Orthodox church is over an hour away, and I have some issues that make physically getting there, going through service, and then having to drive home VERY hard. I've been studying Orthodoxy and even taking online Catechism classes now for two years or more, but the person who can't physically attend an Orthodox Church is really in a quandary, and I think we're a problem and embarrassment for priests. So I feel caught betwixt and between a Protestantism in which I no longer believe, and an Orthodoxy that won't completely accept me. I've read Summer Kinard's book and found it very encouraging, but I think that Orthodoxy (and American Orthodoxy in particular) is sooner or later going to have to address the issue of 1) adults with disabilities and 2) in the US, there may be Orthodox who live at a distance and, combined with disabilities, may not be able to physically participate as would a person in a traditional Greek or Russian village where the church is a few blocks away. I know that I still think like a Protestant in many ways, but I don't think God's grace is thwarted when people can't physically attend church.

 

[truefiction1]

I am struggling with this, too. I enjoy going to church, and agree it's important. Our closest Orthodox church is over an hour away, and I have some issues that make physically getting there, going through service, and then having to drive home VERY hard. I've been studying Orthodoxy and even taking online Catechism classes now for two years or more, but the person who can't physically attend an Orthodox Church is really in a quandary, and I think we're a problem and embarrassment for priests. So I feel caught betwixt and between a Protestantism in which I no longer believe, and an Orthodoxy that won't completely accept me. I've read Summer Kinard's book and found it very encouraging, but I think that Orthodoxy (and American Orthodoxy in particular) is sooner or later going to have to address the issue of 1) adults with disabilities and 2) in the US, there may be Orthodox who live at a distance and, combined with disabilities, may not be able to physically participate as would a person in a traditional Greek or Russian village where the church is a few blocks away. I know that I still think like a Protestant in many ways, but I don't think God's grace is thwarted when people can't physically attend church.

It would be great if Orthodox Churches were in every city and town across America. It's hard for lots of people to attend a Liturgy because of where they live, let alone those whose disabilities make it even many times harder.