Muddle

[LiberatedChick]

My head's all in a muddle. I was Christian...then I realised that I'd only became so because of my situation at the time. I won't go into details but basically, things got tough and I wanted out. I wanted everything to get back to how it was and, without realising at the time, Christianity became my crutch. It was familiar because I grew up having to sing hymns and say prayers at school. It felt safe so I clung to it. I thought I'd made a concious, well thought-out decision but I realise now that I steamed ahead into it without really thinking. And so, whilst I needed it, I thought I truly believed it all...as things got better all the questions I should have asked at the beginning started to come into my mind. And of course, as you can gather I eventually fell away from it.

I've got a pagan icon currently...I was pagan before I was Christian and so at first I just automatically fell back on that. But I feel that I've just picked that up again out of familiarity rather than belief in it.

So my heads in a muddle. I don't know whether I believe in God(s) or not...I don't think I do anymore. Though part of me wants to...it wants to believe that there's some higher being because that belief makes me feel safe. That's not a good reason for believing in something though. I want to believe or not believe based on whether something exists or not...I don't want to believe in something just because doing so makes me feel better. Otherwise it's nothing more than a crutch again...something to help me through.

So I'm trying to work out what I do believe...i.e. in God(s) or not. Though my mind is clouded by fears. As I said belief in God(s) makes me feel safe...it's nice believing there's something watching over you and that you can call upon. It's nice to believe that there's something that will forgive you no matter what you've done. Those are nice, warm, fuzzy beliefs that make me feel safe. But I think the truth is that there is nothing like that out there....there is no God(s). And coming to that realisation means I have to take responsibility for my actions and their consequences..there's no loving being that'll forgive me and love me no matter what. And so part of my mind wants to cling to the safe option..the belief in God(s) the rest of me is fighting against that...knowing I need to face up to reality.

So my head's in a muddle and added to that I'm impatient, I wish I could work it all out right this minute. But I can't, so I'll just have to put up with the muddle for now.

 

[matthewgoh]

Hello LiberatedChick,

If you are looking for God, you don't look for evidence (you won't find it), you simply humble your heart, pray to Christ for forgiveness, ask him to restore your relationship with God. Then, he will reveal himself to you gradually. That's how it works. You don't have to burden yourself (the muddle you are in), you only need to humble your heart and go back to Christ.

Ask God to fill your heart with his spirit and love, and you will have a new self with purpose and true happiness.

May God bless you.

 

[Johnnz]

Hi,

Unless we have a sensible, well founded basis for our faith it can be almost impossible at times to sort out the difference between faith and mere credulity.

You gre wup with some Christian background, but as an older person you now want your want faith. So does God. You will need to do some reading or downlaod some material from the web. There is plenty of really good, informative, intelligent Christian material out tehre which can be so helpful to where you are at.

I have been down the same road.

Bless you
John

 

[PapaLandShark]

Just a few points I'm curious about here.

What are you wanting to feel safe from? What is it that you thought Christianity was about?

I can tell you without a doubt that this world will always remain confusing and unsafe. Everything here will pass away. Nothing we create, do, see, touch, or think will remain unchanged or eternal. Not you, not me, not the earth, not the stars, not the universe.

If the above is true than where, logically, do you find "safe" when you know that even when it comes to yourself there is no "safety"?

Some will tell you "that's just the way it is. Pffft...out like a lightbulb." Some will tell you that somehow you can rise above all this and, through your own imperfection, find perfection. Some will tell you that putting your trust in created things is the answer.

I will tell you, of course, to put your trust in the Eternal and hold to the promises given by God.

Look at my sig line. I have peace and clarity in this world because I know of the Kingdom to come and the Lord who has invited me to His table. Nothing that happens here, therefore, can touch me.

 

[LiberatedChick]

I can tell you without a doubt that this world will always remain confusing and unsafe. Everything here will pass away. Nothing we create, do, see, touch, or think will remain unchanged or eternal. Not you, not me, not the earth, not the stars, not the universe.

That's so very true and something I've begun to read about just recently. I think my probelm is trying thinking of things as permanent and wanting to cling to them. I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking over the past day and my head's not in a muddle anymore.

 

[PapaLandShark]

That's so very true and something I've begun to read about just recently. I think my probelm is trying thinking of things as permanent and wanting to cling to them. I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking over the past day and my head's not in a muddle anymore.

I'm happy to hear that. Looking at your faith icon, however, tells me that you still have some thinking to do.

Tell me...what is the end result of Bhuddism?

 

[LiberatedChick]

I'm happy to hear that. Looking at your faith icon, however, tells me that you still have some thinking to do.

Oh I'm always thinking, I like to think. Though since it was thinking about things that started me moving from Christianity, I don't think further thinking will change that.

Tell me...what is the end result of Bhuddism?

Something tells me that your view of the "end result" is vastly different from mine.

 

[PapaLandShark]

Oh I'm always thinking, I like to think. Though since it was thinking about things that started me moving from Christianity, I don't think further thinking will change that.



Something tells me that your view of the "end result" is vastly different from mine.

Perhaps...perhaps not. I wasn't always Christian LiberatedChick.