Mrs. Good enough

[pittsflyer]

Women, would you be upset if you found out that you were Mrs. Good enough to your husband?

 

[blackribbon]

I've already said "yes" I'd be bothered...I better be the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

[exitstageright]

I've already said "yes" I'd be bothered...I better be the best thing that ever happened to him.

Now,you remind me of Gladys Knight!

"
If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
Ooo, you'll be there between each line of pain and glory
'Cause you're the best thing that ever happened to me
Ah, you're the best thing that ever happened to me
You're the best thing.................that ever happened......to....me!"

I would surely love to sing that to someone,someday.

 

[pittsflyer]

I know, your comment made me curious about it

I've already said "yes" I'd be bothered...I better be the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

[Messy]

Women, would you be upset if you found out that you were Mrs. Good enough to your husband?

I'd be thrilled. We went for counselling when we were just married. They said: How is your marriage? You had to full in those questions, so I said good. He wrote: not really good or something. Lol I was like: Whut?

 

[blackribbon]

Messy,

You'd really marry someone if you were only "Mrs Good-Enough" or "Mrs Better than Nothing".....wouldn't you fear that Miss Perfect would show up and he'd leave or you would stop being "Mrs Good-Enough"? Do you think you were "Miss Not Good Enough" on the day he married you?...or did "Good Enough" stop being good enough somewhere along the way?

I will be dumb-founded if woman are willing to settle for "good enough" and will no longer wonder about the high divorce rates.

 

[Messy]

Messy,

You'd really marry someone if you were only "Mrs Good-Enough" or "Mrs Better than Nothing".....wouldn't you fear that Miss Perfect would show up and he'd leave or you would stop being "Mrs Good-Enough"? Do you think you were "Miss Not Good Enough" on the day he married you?...or did "Good Enough" stop being good enough somewhere along the way?

I will be dumb-founded if woman are willing to settle for "good enough" and will no longer wonder about the high divorce rates.

Yes you're right. He always wanted to change me, so good enough sounds friendlier, but I wouldn't settle for it now, I'm not that desperate.

 

[dayhiker]

I've had GFs that say I'm the best things that every happened to them, I created the best relationship of their life. They can't live without me. I personally find those statements uncomfortable. Its too much to live up to. I'd rather be in a comfortable relationship where I can be myself and not have any pressure to be Mr. perfect for her. I find that type of relationship so much more enjoyable. the GF I have not that dumps loads of praise on me I find when we have been together for a week or so that on day 5 I have to have some space. I'm over whelmed. How she is fun to tell others stories about as I can't believe the experiences I've had while dating her. But I know I could never live with her. Its just too intense to be around her for days. I have to go hid in my man cave for a few days after seeing her.

 

[blackribbon]

dayhiker...you don't want to marry these women so of course you don't want to be their "one and only"...but if I marry someone, I want to be his one and only...not that he expects me to be perfect but rather that I am perfect for him and we will fight through anything to stay together. I had it once. It is very freeing, not claustrophobic...but we felt that way toward each other. I could trust him and he could trust me because at the end of the day, we both knew that our one desire was to be together.

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, I have noticed that not wanting to make a marriage commitment has freed me up to spend time with women that I'd not spend time with otherwise. I've not meet a woman in the last 7 yrs that I feel I'm want to make that kind of commitment to. I'm actually not looking for that woman. I can clearly see that would be a very nice and enjoyable loving place to be.
I thought my EX had that kind of commitment to me to work thru any of our issues. but when my BIG issue came up she gave it a few months and then decided to divorce me even tho I had that commitment to work thru those issues with her.
Since my divorce I've found that I enjoy living and am able to help more living this way than the all or nothing approach that is often taught as the only way Christians should have these type of relationships.
The result I'm seeing of the all or nothing is that some find that great relationship. But many more find they are alone.

 

[blackribbon]

Being just "good enough" is much worse than being alone...especially when you are married because there is never any hope for more.

 

[dayhiker]

I can see that. How many people do you think started out marriage life thinking they were with the one that was the one and only but then come to feel they are now just good enough?

 

[blackribbon]

I suspect that means one of them entered the arrangement thinking that the other was "good enough" or a "fixer upper" and didn't tell the other one that they didn't consider them the "love of their life". Either that or one partner thought if they worked hard enough, they could become of the love of their spouses life.

Pittsflyer didn't think it was cruel to marry someone without telling them they were only "Miss Good Enough" as long as he treated them good. I disagreed. I'd consider that one of the biggest betrayals of my lifetime.

 

[pittsflyer]

The high divorce rate is mostly perpetuated by women though. Roughly 70% that file for the divorce are women. My Mrs. good enoughs ended up leaving me but thats becuase if a woman starts to become incompatible in bed I disengage from the relationship, its like the only thing I ask for so if they cant even get one thing right then I say let them go.

But if I settle on a woman and she is happy to be with me I wont leave either. It frees both of us to have an amazing sex life AND pursure higher things in life without burning inordinate amounts of time in the bars/clubs/online/ or participating in some meet up group that you dont really like the activity you are just there becuase you think there might be more members of the opposite sex. The amount of time some people have to spend orcestrating meeting someone is exhausting.

When I was dating after my past Mrs. good enoughs left I was like [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] I need to get what I need and get out of the market. Too many people playing games and all that stuff sucks up your time and life and results in poor quality infrequent sex.

Although now that I think about it maybe I am inadvertently being a little intellectually dishonest, I also will not settle for anything less than a cute face but she can be as heavy as she wants.

Messy,

You'd really marry someone if you were only "Mrs Good-Enough" or "Mrs Better than Nothing".....wouldn't you fear that Miss Perfect would show up and he'd leave or you would stop being "Mrs Good-Enough"? Do you think you were "Miss Not Good Enough" on the day he married you?...or did "Good Enough" stop being good enough somewhere along the way?

I will be dumb-founded if woman are willing to settle for "good enough" and will no longer wonder about the high divorce rates.

 

[pittsflyer]

Its like if I go out and look for a new gas range I have a list of criteria and once I find one for the right price I take it home and install it and thats it, I dont go out and look for other ranges that might be better unless the one I installed refuses to perform.

I suspect that means one of them entered the arrangement thinking that the other was "good enough" or a "fixer upper" and didn't tell the other one that they didn't consider them the "love of their life". Either that or one partner thought if they worked hard enough, they could become of the love of their spouses life.

Pittsflyer didn't think it was cruel to marry someone without telling them they were only "Miss Good Enough" as long as he treated them good. I disagreed. I'd consider that one of the biggest betrayals of my lifetime.

 

[Messy]

nm

 

[blackribbon]

The high divorce rate is mostly perpetuated by women though. Roughly 70% that file for the divorce are women. My Mrs. good enoughs ended up leaving me but thats becuase if a woman starts to become incompatible in bed I disengage from the relationship, its like the only thing I ask for so if they cant even get one thing right then I say let them go.

But if I settle on a woman and she is happy to be with me I wont leave either. It frees both of us to have an amazing sex life AND pursure higher things in life without burning inordinate amounts of time in the bars/clubs/online/ or participating in some meet up group that you dont really like the activity you are just there becuase you think there might be more members of the opposite sex. The amount of time some people have to spend orcestrating meeting someone is exhausting.

When I was dating after my past Mrs. good enoughs left I was like [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] I need to get what I need and get out of the market. Too many people playing games and all that stuff sucks up your time and life and results in poor quality infrequent sex.

Although now that I think about it maybe I am inadvertently being a little intellectually dishonest, I also will not settle for anything less than a cute face but she can be as heavy as she wants.

What you don't know about women is a lot. Sad, sad, sad. You don't want a wife. You want a sex toy. Please do not ask another woman to marry you without full disclosure.

The person who files isn't the person who left the relationship first. It is the one who feels the most deserted and betrayed.

 

[pittsflyer]

I have always given full disclosure and they are willing and excited. Since this thread has not got much traction there is not really a good sampling.

Apparently I have enough good qualities to make it worth it for some women.

 

[Kingsdotter]

Women, would you be upset if you found out that you were Mrs. Good enough to your husband?

I would be bothered. Would u be bothered if you were Mr. Good enough to your wife?

 

[Messy]

I would be bothered. Would u be bothered if you were Mr. Good enough to your wife?

Or Mr. okay then I can't get anything else