I would like insight from many people on this... Suppose a couple has been dating for several months. One partner tells the other one, "I cannot say that I am not attracted to other people of the opposite sex besides you. I am attracted to other people, but that doesn't mean I'm interested in them. I believe that married couples have such a strong bond that they are not attracted to other people, but it is irrational to think that this is true for dating couples." What do you all think of this?
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- Thread starter Hidden in Christ
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I think it's perfectly normal- what age range are we discussing here- because that's a factor as well.
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Anyone who says he never feels an attraction to anyone else outside his relationship is lieing.
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Exactly Havoc!
There are always going to be other that you are attracted to for whatever reason. Keep in mind though there is a difference between attraction and love. You could be attracted to every member of the opposite sex in the world and only love one. It is love that matters not attraction. Now this is kinda tough when your in a relationship, but once you understand it is the truth and it is alright, then you have nothing to worry about.
Sincerely,
Rev. DSD
P.S. A side note, attraction is one thing, it is completely normal, however you have your right to a little worried about sexual attraction. But then again if it is love, you shouldn't ever have to worry about it anyway.
There are always going to be other that you are attracted to for whatever reason. Keep in mind though there is a difference between attraction and love. You could be attracted to every member of the opposite sex in the world and only love one. It is love that matters not attraction. Now this is kinda tough when your in a relationship, but once you understand it is the truth and it is alright, then you have nothing to worry about.
Sincerely,
Rev. DSD
P.S. A side note, attraction is one thing, it is completely normal, however you have your right to a little worried about sexual attraction. But then again if it is love, you shouldn't ever have to worry about it anyway.
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I disagree with Havoc. I can look at someone and see that they are attractive, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. does that make sense?? I in no way want to be with anyone but my husband. Being attracted to someone, IMO means you feel a longing, not just notice that they are physically attractive. am I making any sense? because i certainly am not clear to myself. 
attraction means you are drawn to something. there is a difference between admiration and attraction IMO. I guess it would be human to feel an attraction to another, so I don't mean to say that it is "wrong" for that to happen during a marriage....just saying it isn't going to happen to everyone.
attraction means you are drawn to something. there is a difference between admiration and attraction IMO. I guess it would be human to feel an attraction to another, so I don't mean to say that it is "wrong" for that to happen during a marriage....just saying it isn't going to happen to everyone.
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Hidden in Christ said:
it is irrational to think that married people are never attracted to other humans.
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what is attractive? there are pretty girls on tv and stuff but nothing, i mean nothing, gets me going like the woman i love, BECAUSE I LOVE HER!!!!!
sex without love is inconcievable to me. but im a minority there.
sex without love is inconcievable to me. but im a minority there.
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BInC
Brother In Christ
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I think it is perfectly normal to be physically attracted to others during a relationship, as long as it doesn't become a problem. You can't help it, it is built into your brain. Anyhting more though would be a problem. Just don't let the physical attractions get in the way of your relationship.
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tcampen
Veteran
As much as some hate to admit it, we are animals with the same basic drives all animals have, especially mammals. However we also have a conscience, a mind, which allows us to break free of many forces of nature and act according to our own will.
This is why it is not wrong to be initially attracted to someone, but may be wrong to act on that attraction, or allow it to develop, if you are committed to someone else. But to freak out at that initial attraction to another person is to ignore what it means to be human. There is nothing to be ashamed of there.
This is why it is not wrong to be initially attracted to someone, but may be wrong to act on that attraction, or allow it to develop, if you are committed to someone else. But to freak out at that initial attraction to another person is to ignore what it means to be human. There is nothing to be ashamed of there.
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I'M IN COMPLETE SHOCK! I agree with Havoc on something! 
Hehe! I think anyone who says they aren't attracted to other people is lying, as well. (oops...2 sins there!) I think a lot depends upon how the person reacts, however. First of all, if a guy says "That girl is hot" it probably means something different than "That girl is pretty". To think a person is "attractive" is not a bad thing. To lust after a person is adultry. If the guys says "That girl is hot" and then begins to fantasize about her, he's got a problem he needs to deal with. (not a mental problem or anything...a sin issue) If he is a Christian, he is most likely going to feel convicted about having these thoughts. This is where he can either 1. Ignore the Holy Spirit's convictions or 2. Ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to take away those feelings and to focus on God instead. All of this is true whether married or dating. And I fully believe that this is an issue every person, married or not, deals with at one time or another. Actual adultry may not even be an option, but the lust is there and it's just as bad in God's eyes. Just don't forget to repent.
Hehe! I think anyone who says they aren't attracted to other people is lying, as well. (oops...2 sins there!) I think a lot depends upon how the person reacts, however. First of all, if a guy says "That girl is hot" it probably means something different than "That girl is pretty". To think a person is "attractive" is not a bad thing. To lust after a person is adultry. If the guys says "That girl is hot" and then begins to fantasize about her, he's got a problem he needs to deal with. (not a mental problem or anything...a sin issue) If he is a Christian, he is most likely going to feel convicted about having these thoughts. This is where he can either 1. Ignore the Holy Spirit's convictions or 2. Ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to take away those feelings and to focus on God instead. All of this is true whether married or dating. And I fully believe that this is an issue every person, married or not, deals with at one time or another. Actual adultry may not even be an option, but the lust is there and it's just as bad in God's eyes. Just don't forget to repent.
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i think an issue that hasn't really been touched on is the difference between males and females in this situation. the Lord, in his infinate wisdom, chose (for some reason EYE cannot comprehend) to make men and women different in the realm of relationships. i can honestly 100% say that i have never been attracted to some one else when i was in another relationship (please dont call me a liar ) but that is because attraction is something that i choose. i can see some one as beautiful, or well put together or what not, but am not carnally attracted to them unless i chose to be.
i know that i cannot hold that standard to everyone, particularly males, because i know they are different. and i dont know what all that differentness is.
) but that is because attraction is something that i choose. i can see some one as beautiful, or well put together or what not, but am not carnally attracted to them unless i chose to be. i know that i cannot hold that standard to everyone, particularly males, because i know they are different. and i dont know what all that differentness is.
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No matter the age, the bond, nor the person, one will always be attracted to those of the other sex.
It is merely a question of self-interest.
Much of the time, it is in one's self-interest to stay with one partener to prevent pain, loss, and guilt.
It is merely a question of self-interest.
Much of the time, it is in one's self-interest to stay with one partener to prevent pain, loss, and guilt.
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SqueezetheShaman said:I disagree with Havoc. I can look at someone and see that they are attractive, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. does that make sense?? I in no way want to be with anyone but my husband. Being attracted to someone, IMO means you feel a longing, not just notice that they are physically attractive. am I making any sense? because i certainly am not clear to myself.
attraction means you are drawn to something. there is a difference between admiration and attraction IMO. I guess it would be human to feel an attraction to another, so I don't mean to say that it is "wrong" for that to happen during a marriage....just saying it isn't going to happen to everyone.
It makes perfect sense to me. I feel the same way. I think some people are confusing finding someone to be an attractive person with having an attraction to a person. And, I am not a liar either.
I think everyone views this in a different way because we are all in different stages of our relationship with our spouses. Some couples freely admit to having an attraction to someone else and others hide attractions to other people from their spouse and others, like me, do not have an attraction to anyone but my spouse. Honest!
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