More Confusion

[Mayflower1]

I talked to my pastor yesterday about the session I had Monday.... it lasted 10 hours and it was so... I was stunned. I am just so confused though. The associate pastor of my church talked to me yesterday... He said that God wouldn't live in a vessel with a demon... that suggestion was powerful... He gave me so many verses that led me to the truth... He said to not go back, to cease communication... I need to pray to God... I feel even more confused and lost then I did before... God loves me though. He is there for me... He knows my pain and confusion. I just don't know what to do anymore though... my reality is distorted... all I want to know is the truth... counselor after counselor... now another... this time the church is paying for it... what if it doesn't work... what if it is a lie... what if they decide no, I have to graduate you have to find another... and another... I haven't cut since Monday, I feel no need too... I am just so confused... I see God but I can't reach Him... I hate myself so much because I can't seem to get back in fellowship with Him... it is like nobody is able to help... I don't even know what I need...

 

[goldenviolet]

little sweetheart... rest your head and stop thinking so fretfully .

God says, "be still and know that I am God"....

focus on letting Him get you there... then just do your best to be fruitful.
too much thinking isn't peaceful. God is a God of peace; He wants you to have lovely rest. rest that He promises to guide your footsteps. rest that your crown is held by Him, not you. rest that you have so much to enjoy and so much fruit to blossom. blossoming now. look at how far you have come! look how lovely the blessings are around you!

 

[stanneberg]

I see God but I can't reach Him... I hate myself so much because I can't seem to get back in fellowship with Him... it is like nobody is able to help... I don't even know what I need...

Remember, God is not the author of confusion. I like the verse that Goldenviolet quoted: "Be still and know that I am God." When we can be perfectly still -- not moving, not worrying, not thinking about everything we need to be doing -- we can KNOW that He is God. How? I don't know. But it works.

I have been thinking about this verse all week long. My situation hasn't changed, but my faith has.

The other verse I've been praying is Isaiah 40:31

I haven't forgot about you. You are still in my prayers!

Stephen

 

[BOJAX]

I talked to my pastor yesterday about the session I had Monday.... it lasted 10 hours and it was so... I was stunned. I am just so confused though. The associate pastor of my church talked to me yesterday... He said that God wouldn't live in a vessel with a demon... that suggestion was powerful... He gave me so many verses that led me to the truth... He said to not go back, to cease communication... I need to pray to God... I feel even more confused and lost then I did before... God loves me though. He is there for me... He knows my pain and confusion. I just don't know what to do anymore though... my reality is distorted... all I want to know is the truth... counselor after counselor... now another... this time the church is paying for it... what if it doesn't work... what if it is a lie... what if they decide no, I have to graduate you have to find another... and another... I haven't cut since Monday, I feel no need too... I am just so confused... I see God but I can't reach Him... I hate myself so much because I can't seem to get back in fellowship with Him... it is like nobody is able to help... I don't even know what I need...

Don't rely 100% of what you pastor teaches you. You have to do the final checking to see if what he says is in agreement with what the Spirit tells you. As the posters above said, don't worry about it. God is still in control. Have faith and walk in the Spirit.

(Galatians 5:24,25) And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

(Proverbs 3:5) Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Christ is in you already. He came into you the moment you accepted Him as your saviour. There ain't no two ways about that.

In the meantime go over those brilliant Daily Fruits of the Spirit series you were writing. Write some more of what you are learning. That really does help to establish the Word into our heart.

Praying for you indeed.

 

[Mayflower1]

Thank you all for your support. I have seen both sides, I have looked up the verses... and honestly, something inside of me was screaming no... I am still confused though, terrified of what is to come... yearning so desperately to just put it all behind me and close my eyes saying the past didn't happen, the session didn't happen... depression, cutting that it didn't happen... It is so stupid. It is like a am waving my fist at God or something. I haven't cut yet nor have I felt to. There is something that won't stop moving though. My mind is rushing so much... I want to be still and just pray to God and just move on... and I guess I am talking for everyone who has ever gone through depression. It is a cruel thing to go through but I have just grown so much in my faith but I have failed a lot too... it hurts and I don't know what is next but I stick to my verse; "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Phillippians 4:13 No matter what happens I just have to keep trusting that God will never desert me. It is just so hard. There are so many things. School is settling down now though, I can work on my next fruit and I will be able to be still maybe. Lily

 

[goldenviolet]

take comfort sweet little sister in knowing that we all face these same struggles. staying focused on God's promises, being at peace and not anxious, and sometimes going through discouragement. God is always faithful and will carry you through it. yes, focus on your lovely fruit studies. you have brought many blessings to yourself and others by your studies.

Philippians 4:6-9
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

 

[Mayflower1]

[/QUOTE] Thanks GoldenViolet. You are such a great encouragement. Thank you for showing me words of comfort through God's word. It really helps a lot. Lily

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

Hey lily00,

I am really sad to hear about your situation. I will be praying for you, sweetie . Just trust in God. There is a line in a hymn which says "Look ever to Jesus, He will carry you through". I know it must be really hard now but please be assured that we are all praying for you. As goldenviolet says, carry on wil your fruit of the Spirit studies. These have been a blessings to me and many others. Hopefully you may find something in the next one you write. Also someone also at my church said something to me that has really stuck with me. It's this: "You live life forwards and understand it backwards". You may not know why you are going through this now but may be in years to come you may look back and say "that is why that happened".

If you want to talk or even if you just want a shoulder to cry on please feel free to PM me.

Love Derbystudent

 

[Mayflower1]

Love Derbystudent[/QUOTE] Dear Derbystudent, thanks a lot. Yes, now that school is settling down I will be able to start the next fruit!!!! I am feeling better but I just have to keep working through a few things. I know God is there and He is holding me. He won't let go and I won't let go of Him. Lily