I don't mean to make it all about my various family members. But when we were having our problems, my husband and I evaluated other people's families (what we could perceive anyway, and what they would share) and I just can't say I saw that dynamic work a lot. Or ever. I mean, I've seen the stay-at-home mom dynamic work plenty, but it is very much tailored to the wife's expectations and wishes, rather than the husband's directive. So I'm going to have to say, I just don't know that the "traditional" dynamic is best or even good. I think maybe it worked in certain cultural settings, whose dynamics we don't really understand now, and it leaves something to be desired when applied to the modern family. (Just think about all the endeavors of the Proverbs 31 woman, and how they are outdated. She spins wool with her hands, feeds her maidservants, buys vineyards and sells handmade garments. Today, those endeavors wouldn't be efficient or, in many cases, even possible. Yet she is still a good example for women if we take the spirit of her endeavors and apply it to modern life.) If a household standard consistently fails to result in strong marriages and families, I have to question whether it is actually biblical the way it is being applied.
Yep, Life is custom...and you need to do what works for your family.
Sadly, I think at times when certain teachings are taught? They tend to veer into the ridiculous realm at times. i don't know how many articles I have seen on facebook regarding 'lists' preachers make with the do's and don't for the women's roles. They way they word them? Even the men make comments about how they sound afraid more than anything.
Some of the other types of articles are so silly, but BOY do people get up in arms over them Understandable at times, but I don't think the ones that write them up see the shamed based language and demeaning tones. They are so caught up in their own little 'spiritual' bubble, and are so used to people screaming AMEN ... they are to disconnected from people's lifes.
I remember reading parts of story written by a pastor telling women a story about a wife working in her yard. A stranger that was lost stopped, and asked for directions. It was a man in the car, and the preacher told her how to 'give the directions in a submissive way' so the man wouldn't 'feel' her authority.
Honestly? I just thought it was DUMB, and laughed about it. The way he worded it was wrong, and the saddest part he was perfectly serious about thinking someone needed to instruct wifes like that. 1) I doubt the guy that needed the directions mind would even GO that far in this thinking (viewpoint from preacher), and 2) does he seriously think women are so naive they need that type of counsel? On driving directions??
Seriously?! The poor preacher didn't even understand why everyone was talking about this 'ahem' counsel he felt was so wise. Yep, talk about OUT THERE!
It seems at times the messages are so far removed from the reality of most of the members lifes. They are so insulated that they don't understand how much day to day lifes have changed.
Some of the preachers get into trouble over silly things they say, and one thing they have learned from culture? "I didn't mean it that way, you misunderstood me!" Just this week a video of John Piper had emerged once again for his counsel to abused wives, and I bet he wished he would have never opened his mouth. I think it took him 5 years before he would respond to that bad counsel video, and what he said STILL didn't make any sense. Sadly, i think too many people enable these men and they get too used to "YES MEN" - much like celebrities do.
You know what is neat about the Proverbs 31 woman in the Jewish tradition? Remember its OT here. During the Friday night supper the husband sings this to the wife as a form of thanks for all she did that week. You can see the different examples of that on Youtube. What's strange is we use it as some 'checklist', and it seems that wasn't the purpose.
Lastly, the way they whine on and on about the 1960's feminists? lol you would it was last week's news, and not over 50 years ago! When I speak to my children and their friends? I tell them stories of when I grew up - and they were high rolling then - and they just sit there in awe. They never heard of such a thing. Yet, its taught this is 'common knowledge' today. What's up with that - say the kids say.
