- Jun 22, 2007
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You realize that's a passive/aggressive tactic......right?
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My 16 year old son who loves her dearly(she has a fun and kind side as well) asks me all the time why I don't take her task every time she criticizes me(as he and the kids are witnesses to most of it). I tell him "its not worth it all the time, sometimes you just have to let things go and give it to God".
I said though, that it was my conviction based on my Christian faith and understanding of God's Word, that while Dad's should help, Mom's are uniquely and specially equipped to nurture children in a way most men just don't do as well. I told her while I believed Dad's should help, God has equipped women, physically and emotionally to be able to feed and nurture a child better.
Wow! You are comparing my traditional views of marriage and gender(which I believe are firmly based in Biblical teaching) to suicide bombers. That is incredible.
That and Gods grace are the only things that keep me going.
Contrary to what you all have imagined goes on in my house, I am a very loving husband.
I don't agree with what she is doing, living her life on the couch. Neither does her mom, or her sister or her doctor. You say I have to just understand her, I am sorry but wrong behavior is wrong behavior period.
This post is coming dangerously close to violating the marriage forums rules regarding no talk of male headship or submission. I have tried to walk that line of not getting into that here.
I find it interesting that there are many threads and comments on threads in the general forum that allow the attack of traditional roles. But if you say anything in defense of traditional roles people lash out and say things like you have said, or get your thread removed the moderators, it is slightly one-sided.
Even though I believe what you have said is gross a characterization my traditional marriage views I am going to leave it alone.
So yes in those moments I do get in the flesh, sometimes I can get us to our bedroom to talk away from the kids, other times it just comes out. I tell her she is ungrateful, and I don't want to hear anything out her mouth in that instance unless it is gratitude. If she thinks she can do a better job, then she can cook it.
In my understanding of the Scriptures, God's design for marriage and family is built on a world without divorce. God hates divorce. That is why child custody is never discussed in the Bible.
There is nothing wrong with either one. I don't like when people judge others on what is culture deems as acceptable being less because they are doing something different. We should celebrate our differences even if it's not your ideal way don't look down on another person based on what they want.
But I don't say anything about the couch regularly, I hold it back. I give her gentle reminders of what the doctor said probably once every few weeks, or maybe only a once a month now. So I am not over there getting on her creating this negative environment you have all painted me as doing.
I don't agree that it's a "passive/aggressive tactic"
We don't always have to take people to task for every thing they do wrong, there is a time and place.
She knows how I feel about her various criticisms, I have communicated that to her many times. Sometimes in a nice way(the right way) and sometimes in an angry way(the wrong way).
Either way she knows.
Wow! You are comparing my traditional views of marriage and gender(which I believe are firmly based in Biblical teaching) to suicide bombers. That is incredible. Yes I believe in marriage as in life, we all have a duty to fulfill. Duty is almost considered a swear word in our modern culture.
Duty is almost considered a swear word in our modern culture.
Which in all honestly makes your leap seem rather out there if you think about it.If it were, he'd be applying biblical principles to himself and not focused so much on the bad she contributes...he would be focused on what he can do differently to love and support his wife in ways that will build her up rather than tear her down - even if that building up is in his own mind and heart.
Mom's are uniquely and specially equipped to nurture children in a way most men just don't do as well. I told her while I believed Dad's should help, God has equipped women, physically and emotionally to be able to feed and nurture a child better.
I am all for 50/50 custody(I have 4/3 split, so almost 50/50), even when the mom is a better nurturer, children need their father's as much as their mothers, unless one of the parents is abusive or neglectful of the children.
What she said is convictions are fine, but at times they are not always correct. ie: the suicide bomers believing he will get some eternal inheritance if he follows that conviction.
I wish my kids could have stayed with their biological parents together, but because of sin divorce happened and it will continue to happen till Christ comes back.
Let me give you an example. As I said I do at least 80% of the cooking. It is very common for her to make criticisms of different things I cook. She might say I did this wrong, or this is overcooked, or this is under spiced. She criticizes me when the rolls I make out of the oven are overcooked and asks why I can't figure out how to make them right.
The moment I am done cooking and am barely done eating, she will ask how soon am going to "clean up this mess".
So yes in those moments I do get in the flesh, sometimes I can get us to our bedroom to talk away from the kids, other times it just comes out. I tell her she is ungrateful, and I don't want to hear anything out her mouth in that instance unless it is gratitude. If she thinks she can do a better job, then she can cook it.
seriously, Av? You're defending this:You seem like you would be happier in a patriarchal type of marriage where you are the unquestioned king of your home and your wife exists as nothing more than your adoring servant and outlet for your sexual needs.
yes, I do judge the cultures of others. Sorry, but true. I judge as wrong the cultures where slavery was/is practiced, where female genital mutilation is practiced, where gang rape is acceptable, where the mass killings of intelligent cetaceans are done year after after, where seal pups are slaughtered with clubs.
I judge our society/culture because our leaders would rather wage war for financial reasons than feed and educate our own children.
so yes, I judge. And if you're all honest, you do too. Judgement is one thing. And it usually the basis, along with God's love, in changing the world. Or at least the bits we judge as wrong....
I am very hard working man, I always have been. I am the kind of person that whether at work(online) or at home, if something needs to be done and nobody else will do it - then I step in and do it. I clean up after myself.
I am probably too easy on my kids and my wife and just do too much at times because it is often easier to just to do it myself than ask her or them to do it. That is a fault of mine.
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