I really struggled for many years because of the rise of the Religious Right and their ilk, and after college, I didn't go to church for a LONG time and spent time exploring other faiths as I've always been a very spiritual person. It was only after I found out that not every Christian group is rigid, fundamentalist, and misogynistic that I seriously considered going back to church. While I never rejected Jesus, I had no plans of rejoining institutional Christianity.
When I got to the point of reading about Wesleyan faith and the Methodist movement, I was in love because Wesley seemed to put to words how I had been thinking concerning and emphasis on God's grace and love vs. the angry father god dangling his much-abused children over a fiery pit with threats of fire and torture if not strictly obedient, and even worse if you had the misfortune of being born biologically female or even of a race descended from Ham.
The Christian Right is worse than ever now, but it is the gift of the Holy Spirit that can keep us secure in his love even in the midst of all the hatefulness.
The right isn't mysoginistic in the least. And it's a rejection of scripture to believe that God's grace negates God's judgement. It's a rejection of Jesus teachings. That being said, I too grew up in a very legalistic Christianity. I'm no longer that way. I have learned to lean on the truth of the word, which is not legalistic. But nor is it permissive. I dont walk around worrying about if I happen to sin I have suddenly been rejected by God and will be punished severely including losing my salvation. No I am secure in my faith in Christ and the grace he provided to me. It's not a faith in me, but a faith in Christ. But I do also know that if I choose to continue to sin and walk in sin I have rejected his grace and his purpose for me.
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