Jesus taught that whoever might seek to lead must instead become the greater servant. So if I were looking for the leader in a relationship, I would find them to be the greatest servant in the relationship. It is the servant I am willing to follow.
there are THOUSANDS of verses that speak to the concept of submission in the OT and NT combined. It is a major theme of Scripture. I actually find the worst thing about modern Western submission teachings to be that they . . . insult the teachings about submission that are in Scripture.
EVERYONE who says they love God is EXPECTED to function as part of the Kingdom people who have been shown by Yeshua's example that servanthood, becoming a slave of everyone, is the way to reveal the depth of your love and maturity of your relationship with God. The MORE you love and serve God, the LOWER you will make yourself.
Scripture tells all believers to serve one another, and when you think you're doing good at that, serve your enemy. Lest you think this is just about out and other, in a couple of key spots (in addition to all of the many verses about submission in general) we are told that as women we are to bring not just certain duties we have, or certain aspects of our lives, to our dh's and submit to them in these areas, but we are to bring EVERYTHING we are and EVERYTHING we do and we are now to do it to our dh's as we do it to the Lord! And our dh's are to bring everything that is theirs, everything they are an everything they do, and sacrifice it all for us.
Servant and slave are similar ideas--but the servant is only servant for a pre-determined time; the slave has submitted themselves in servitude for the remainder of their lives.
Submission is about being in agreement with someone else and putting all of your resources towards benefitting them, sharing a goal, serving them. Sacrifice is where you give everything towards serving them--including laying down your life for them. It's a deeper level of submission.
The current doctrines about submission have everyone arguing over who is supposed to "get served" and that is backwards and wrong. We are supposed to fight over who gets TO serve! If everyone who claimed to be part of God's Kingdom would start sacrificing their life for everyone else and functioning as the slave to others . . . what a powerful force to be reckoned with we would all be!
I don't believe in mutual submission because I want to make sure that women get served as often as men do. I believe in mutual submission because I believe we are ALL called to lay down our lives and serve each other.
"Head of the wife" gets translated into "head of the household" but "head of the household" isn't what is there
Kephale, head, as in head of the river--or source
Paul was saying that the man who had been studying Scripture all along was now to be the source of understanding Scripture for his wife who was finally being brought into this part of his world
Let me try to come at this from a slightly sideways perspective
In Jewish culture in ancient Biblical times women were considered the property of their husbands. They were owned by them--that is why the husband paid a bride price for his wife. Submit does mean to serve and cater to and meet the needs of. BUT this is far too simplistic and takes so many other assumed and understood things into consideration--as well as what the teaching to men that wasn't culturally motivated means to women and the change in perceiving a woman's responsibility to submit.
A bride price was paid for a woman in ancient times--but in Jewish culture she had the right to accept or refuse the offer of marriage and if she accepted it then there were covenant agreements laid out in a Ketubah that was signed by both the bridegroom and the bride. It contained the rights of the woman to be fed, clothed, cared for, housed, and often her commitment to follow her dh anywhere he went with one opportunity to return to Jerusalem whenever she insisted. So submit wasn't servitude
She wasn't a slave, she was treated with utmost respect and provided for according to her dh's means. Housework wasn't just mundane--it was holy
Keeping a kosher kitchen and a kosher home, preparing for the Sabbath, raising the children--these were honorable and highly valued things. Proverbs 31 is a tribute to a woman who threw her whole heart and soul into serving God and her family in her career as wife and mother.
The *problem* was that at the Fall it was made known that in sin and the aftermath of sin women would desire their husbands and they would rule over them. So a hierarchical relationship was established and the complications this brought. Then, fast forward to the cross, and we have a restoration of both male and female being created in the image of God when we learn that there is neither male nor female at the foot of the cross.
We also see a pattern in Paul's writings and instructions that we are not to use our Christian liberties to produce cultural revolution--but are to use them to empower the Church to fulfill the Great Commission and take the Gospel to the world. As he explained, it is for this reason that he becomes all things to all people. In the current cultural climate in Paul's day the wife was legally required to submit. Paul uses tradition, Scripture, and the admonition to all believers to submit to one another to encourage women to uphold this legal responsibility. He then goes on to admonish men to set aside their legal rights and serve their wives--to love them to the point of sacrifice. It isn't through women casting off the shackles of cultural expectations that change would come because, in fact, without the hierarchical negative involved the idea of submitting as a wife is a good and God thing! It fits with the submitting one to another idea. Rather, it was through men taking up the command to submit to one another--submitting to their wives in a way that sacrifices their law-given responsibilities and replaces them with God-given ones, that Gospel revolution would come. It is as we serve one another that the relationship in the Garden is modelled to mankind who wants that kind of love and peace and relationship.
dh and I try to exist like Adam and Eve did in the Garden. We share each other's burdens. We make choices in unity with God and one another. We try to treat each other with respect. We've grown up so many years beyond this letter where women and men are able to be taught from birth--and since dh became a believer late in life and I was born into a Christian home and have been to seminary, in our case I'm usually teaching him about Scripture. What he knows about he teaches me.
And we never really talked about Women-only-submission or Mutual Submission --just about how to love and respect EACH OTHER.
What's funny is that dh tells me, whenever this issue comes up, that I'm more submissive than any of the wives of men who claim they believe in WOS
He sees that I'm out to fight for what blesses and benefits him. I'm not about my own agenda.
I also talked with him while we were engaged about being on the same team--using a war analogy for my ex-soldier
I explained that when he got offended or hurt or sensitive to anything I said or did he was acting like I'm the enemy--but I'm not. I'm on HIS team
well you have to keep in mind that the Proverbs 31 woman totally ran her home. NT says we are to be Managers of our Homes. It is the woman who runs the home--but we are also told to bring that into submission to our dh's. Echad in the home; Echad in worship
I do feel adored, loved and protected by my dh- He would die for me, for our family. And he adores me--and I him.