Mature chat thread.....

[hope_is_last_to_die]

(((((Peace))))) so sad to hear your dad is not well, Ive prayed for him and you

 

[peacechild4]

Glad it went well PC sorry about your dad . Will keep him in our prayers and you as well. My mom never wanted a divorce either but still got one and still had a life afterward. Be careful of your choices in life now and let God lead and guide you as you are right now and you will be fine.

Thank you Michelle.. I will be careful now because I realize I made choices in my past that led me where I am today.. I think its scary in one way because human beings and relationships are complex and my limitations in life mean I truly need a miracle... But I have to believe that for all my cries in the night.. all my prayers were leading somewhere.. I thought one way but it is said our spirit entwined with HIS spirit cries out even louder for we can only pray with our understanding but HE knows everything.. I kinda expect something big and wonderful to happen.. and I guess I really hope that it will come together in such a way that I will know peace like I do right now as otherwise what hope to I have.. It has been such a long wait... but GOD is wonderful and kind.. and seems to be when you live in the moment it helps more then any other thing...

 

[peacechild4]

PC -- good to hear things went well.

I've heard of other couples that got a long a lot better once they were divorced. I pray that continues.

Thank you just as long as the getting on well is just friendship wise.. I did not leave this marriage to keep anything going on the side.. lol..

Its amazing but on face book just recently I read this.. actually I cannot find it.. lol.. but basically they were saying.. don't go back to the one GOD delivered you from.. because there is a reason for HIM moving you out..

I can be honest with you.. I am not always sure he is not so friendly because he wants something from me.. which is sad.. because he knows I am wanting all that.. and have been willing to trade that for moments in the past.. its confusing really.. I wonder how our relationship will fare as I move on... He has already told me he will always flirt in some way with me.. :o

 

[peacechild4]

I think this post might be read by the person its about... but thats ok because I want them to know I am genuine and will keep contacting them.. but because of my own life and experiences I will not be chasing them down.. if you want a friend I am here.. but you have to trust me and not unfriend me... another friend on here I chased after when they stopped contacting me and it hurt when they kept ignoring me..

I met a new friend on CF recently.. and they are lonely and looking for friends.. they found me.. which is cool.. and we have talked back and forth.. no problems there.. they even asked if I could find them some friends.. as you know with life right now I am going through a lot but so far have asked one person on their behalf.. haven't had time to ask anyone else..

But last night.. they went off at me and said they would unfriend me... I guess hurting and frustrated and maybe people here were not responding in the way they needed it.. I wrote back as nicely as I could and said please give me a go... trust me.. I am only trying to help.. but no reply today.. so I think they are not going too..

Usually I would persist.. I did to a few here who I started having problems with.. but it seemed a dead end.. nothing I did seemed to help.. so I think let it go.. and if they want a friend I am here..

 

[dayhiker]

PC ... ya, sounds confusing, but its also a compliment. So you accept a better relationship and but keep it there.

Your 2nd post. People seem so often to end relationships at the start of new relationship. Its pretty sad in my mind. Being freinds do chew up our free time ... so being generous I figure they don't have time to keep keep the friendship going.

But I learned a long time ago to accept the time I have with a web relationship, give what I can and accept from them what they want to give. If it gets bad, then I let it go. I know my heart is not to hurt anyone. If they can't live that, then I let it go.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Awe PC! My heart aches for you to be able to not have to feel this way regarding friendships and your ex. It has often been said that when God closes one door, He opens another, and I think that if you can strive on, and not really be waiting anxiously, I believe He WILL bless you beyond your wildest dreams. As far as Justin is concerned, he needs to find Jesus and then and only then could it be acceptable for you to consider any type of relationship with him other than friendship. Otherwise you are just going back to the same thing you left and eventually you will be in the same place you WERE but ARE NOT now. There is no play-by-play handbook on how to deal with specific situations in our lives (boy do I wish there WAS lol), but just know that you were created for such a time as this. I would encourage you to read Ester. Her story always encourages my heart as a widow, and you are a widow of the worst kind because your ex is actually still living and breathing (I could only wish mine were).
And as far as friendships go, that's what they do, they come, they go. Sometimes quick and sometimes slow (wow wasn't trying to rhyme ). The ones that God wants to be in your life will, and the rest you can't waste time chasing after. I have very few friends and one of them just moved a couple of hours away and now I rarely here from her and she was supposedly my BFF. I still love her, but obviously she has more pressing issues in her life than staying close with me, so it is what it is. And if its any consolation to you, my daughter lives in a different state than me and she really has NO close friends. We talk on the phone probably a couple times a week and sometimes she cries because she is SO lonely and wishes I were closer. But God has us right where He wants us and you have to acknowledge that to God and just keep asking Him to show you what He wants you to do. It's a daily,weekly, hourly thing really. But I'm sure you already know that.
Oh and BTW I didn't mean to offend about the "being careful" statement. It's just I know you are very vulnerable (as we all are) and I just meant to really take your time with everything, moving on, getting into a new relationship etc. You know I love ya!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

OK so WOW I am a little distraught today (although I still Praise God and know that God is good). Had the Police at my door at 1:00AM last night. Apparently my son, (who they have on video) stopped at the corner store to get gas and his friends went inside to get "sodas". The friend (who is 17) came running outside with a 20 pack of BEER and told my son DRIVE! So he did and then they consumed some of the beer! Well since they have my son's car and my son's friend on video they knew who's car it was and showed up at my house. So now my son has to go before a judge and hopefully get into a diversion program so he doesn't have theft and underage drinking on his record! They did a breathalyser test and he was .024 luckily not over the legal driving limit otherwise he would also have DUI! He is a straight A student and has never been in any trouble. Just recently started this drinking thing which I told him straight up I do NOT approve of, nor do I allow. I told him I hope he would quit drinking and he said he was "trying" but it was hard because when all his friends are drinking GRRRRR. He is about 7 months from turning 18 and if this had happened after he turned 18 he probably would have been taken to jail last night. It still is technically an arrest they said, even though they didn't take him in, but I just really can't believe he doesn't see how quickly his life can change. He will have to do some type of program so hopefully that will knock some common sense into him. He is very smart acedemically, but evidentally lacking in common sense. Anyway I had to vent to someone. When I saw the cops at my door I honestly thought he had been killed in an accident or something at first and my heart dropped. But even thru my venting and my feelings, I am thankful to God for all that He is doing, in me, and in my son who knows him, and I am confident my God will continue to lead and guide me and my son til He comes. Thanks for listening.

 

[dayhiker]

No better place to vent that here MbM.

I suspect that this will be a walk up call for him. So it might be one of the best things that happens to him. Time will tell as they say.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

No better place to vent that here MbM.

I suspect that this will be a walk up call for him. So it might be one of the best things that happens to him. Time will tell as they say.

Yep I believe that and hope he learns. I can't save him anymore.

 

[Gibsonian]

Yeah, his buddy put him on the spot there, running out with the beer, go go go! Probably 80% of 18 yr old young men would've done what your son did in that situation. I am sure it will be a learning experience for him. Maybe you can suggest to him with this experience behind him that he will now have wisdom in upcoming situations to stop, think, and reverse or stop the madness. How cool will it be if he says to his friend, "I'll take this", walks the 20 pak back inside, says, "My buddy grabbed this by mistake, I'm returning it for him"

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yeah, his buddy put him on the spot there, running out with the beer, go go go! Probably 80% of 18 yr old young men would've done what your son did in that situation. I am sure it will be a learning experience for him. Maybe you can suggest to him with this experience behind him that he will now have wisdom in upcoming situations to stop, think, and reverse or stop the madness. How cool will it be if he says to his friend, "I'll take this", walks the 20 pak back inside, says, "My buddy grabbed this by mistake, I'm returning it for him"

That would be cool. We talked last night and I told him he wouldn't have been in any trouble if he would have just refused to drive and told his friend to take the beer back. His reply was "yeah then my friend would've went to jail!" To which I said "He DIDN'T go to jail, but now he drug you into it and now you have theft AND underage drinking! I told him I completely understand WHY he did what he did, but now he has an arrest record and he said "yeah that's dumb" and I said "WHAT DID YOU SAY? THAT'S DUMB? NO DUMB WAS WHEN YOU DECIDED TO DRIVE AWAY THAT'S DUMB. Geez! Anyway in the end he said he was gonna quit drinking. I told him he could be potentially throwing away his whole life in an instant and he needs to make the right choices. He has 3 1/2 years before he turns 21 and underage drinking carries a fine of 2500.00 and 6 months in jail here to which I told him he would also lose his job because they ain't gonna hold your job for 6 months not to mention school, girlfriend etc.

 

[peacechild4]

Awe PC! My heart aches for you to be able to not have to feel this way regarding friendships and your ex. It has often been said that when God closes one door, He opens another, and I think that if you can strive on, and not really be waiting anxiously, I believe He WILL bless you beyond your wildest dreams. As far as Justin is concerned, he needs to find Jesus and then and only then could it be acceptable for you to consider any type of relationship with him other than friendship. Otherwise you are just going back to the same thing you left and eventually you will be in the same place you WERE but ARE NOT now. There is no play-by-play handbook on how to deal with specific situations in our lives (boy do I wish there WAS lol), but just know that you were created for such a time as this. I would encourage you to read Ester. Her story always encourages my heart as a widow, and you are a widow of the worst kind because your ex is actually still living and breathing (I could only wish mine were).
And as far as friendships go, that's what they do, they come, they go. Sometimes quick and sometimes slow (wow wasn't trying to rhyme ). The ones that God wants to be in your life will, and the rest you can't waste time chasing after. I have very few friends and one of them just moved a couple of hours away and now I rarely here from her and she was supposedly my BFF. I still love her, but obviously she has more pressing issues in her life than staying close with me, so it is what it is. And if its any consolation to you, my daughter lives in a different state than me and she really has NO close friends. We talk on the phone probably a couple times a week and sometimes she cries because she is SO lonely and wishes I were closer. But God has us right where He wants us and you have to acknowledge that to God and just keep asking Him to show you what He wants you to do. It's a daily,weekly, hourly thing really. But I'm sure you already know that.
Oh and BTW I didn't mean to offend about the "being careful" statement. It's just I know you are very vulnerable (as we all are) and I just meant to really take your time with everything, moving on, getting into a new relationship etc. You know I love ya!

I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.. writes that in capital letters because its reason to shout.. I know.. your beautiful, precious and I feel the heart behind your words too..

Thanks for sharing with me everything here.. you understand.. but more then that.. your honest and open and caring.. and I can go on and on..

Thank you.. everything you say is precious.. another hug for all that hurts you and is difficult for you also..

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Friends, Please say a prayer for me. On top of the stuff with my son and my recent pool pipe leak, now my sand filter in my pool has a leak and it cannot be repaired. The replacement is about 800.00 that I don't have and the only way to fix it is to charge more on my already overwhelming credit card debt. I honestly don't know what to do. I want to follow what God wants me to do, but I seriously don't know what that is.

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, I don't see an quick way out of that problem.
Since the kids use it, I'd ask them to be involved in making the money to buy the new filter. I'm guessing you'd have to drain the pool till the money is saved up.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Ya, I don't see an quick way out of that problem.
Since the kids use it, I'd ask them to be involved in making the money to buy the new filter. I'm guessing you'd have to drain the pool till the money is saved up.

draining it is not an option. It is too hot here (108) and you can't leave your pool drained or it will crack and then you're talking major repair. That would just make it worse. And with my older son needing to pay for his potential fine coming up possibly, and my younger one costs me money that's not an option either.

 

[dayhiker]

I see .. ya, don't want a cracked pool for sure.
Will miss it in that hot weather it its not working.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

Friends, Please say a prayer for me. On top of the stuff with my son and my recent pool pipe leak, now my sand filter in my pool has a leak and it cannot be repaired. The replacement is about 800.00 that I don't have and the only way to fix it is to charge more on my already overwhelming credit card debt. I honestly don't know what to do. I want to follow what God wants me to do, but I seriously don't know what that is.

Sorry to hear that and have prayed for you. Do lots of people have their own pool in US? Here in Ireland very few people will have a pool, only rich people own their own pool here.

Blessings!!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Sorry to hear that and have prayed for you. Do lots of people have their own pool in US? Here in Ireland very few people will have a pool, only rich people own their own pool here.

Blessings!!

Well here in Arizona Yeah I would say at least half the people have pools or access to one, but we live in the desert and like I said its over 100 degrees from June to October so...In California alot of people have pools also, but not as much as here, because it doesn't get AS hot and they have the ocean where we do not. My grand daughter visited from California and we went to a waterpark and I asked her if she went in California and she said no because it doesn't really get hot enough. When I lived in Washington not very many people have pools again because it doesn't get hot enought to need or want them. So it depends on the area of the US and how harsh of winters they have.

 

[mjmcmillan]

Pools are expensive enough that they're still a sign of relative wealth here. Right now, I live in an apartment complex and the complex has a pool, but--- way back in the days of the Roman Empire*-- I lived with my father in his house and I don't think anybody in the neighborhood had a pool. During the forty years my parents had that house the only pools we had were those kiddie wading pools, it would have been out of the question for my father, on his factory-worker wages, to have had a large pool.


(*The Roman Empire seems to have lasted longer than we originally thought. We had that house from 1960 to 2006, and I think I can count on one hand all the people who had, in that entire time, any kind of large pool in my neighborhood.)

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Oops forgot to say thanks for the prayers. Looks like I'm going have to spend more money I don't have in credit because the filter has to be replaced or I'm told it could explode and cause more damage. It's 900.00 approx. installed with a 3 year warranty. I could get the filter cheaper and have my SIL install it, but not comfortable with that and then I would have no warranty so....and the filter alone costs 600 plus tax and the backwash valve is 100 so the other 200 would be for labor.