Mature chat thread..... (2)

[dayhiker]

I agree black,

 

[dayhiker]

thats good dayhiker. I myself went to dance lessons last night for the first time. It is lightyears outside of my comfort zone so thats why I did it.

I was real bad. But if any guy wanted to meet women , just go ballroom dancing.

BTW the cha-cha kicked my rear.

Ya, the cha-cha is a little tricky for me also ... tho I'm mostly learning salsa right now.

So I mostly freestyle when I dance, as I love the freedom of expression in that.

 

[dayhiker]

So I went to Divorce Care, class 3, last night. It was on anger and they listed about 7 or 8 reasons divorce can cause anger. Then of course there was ways of dealing with anger.

Well, I had very little anger of my divorce, even at myself as I was the cause of the divorce. I could have been anger at my wife, as I did everything she and the church asked me to do including stand in front of the congregation to publicly acknowledge that I'd sinned and to repent and stating I was coming under church discipline.

But I don't remember being anger. I was mostly sad.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

was your wife angry though? I could see being angry that someone just doesn't "get it" or that they don't have the emotion I think they should have. Just wondering, but mostly I think it's good that you weren't angry.

When my husband died, I wasn't angry. I was sad. I was confused. I didn't understand why. My older son was angry but I didn't know that for awhile. I didn't get mad at God either. I didn't question my faith either except that I DID want to know why my bible says "you shall lay hands on the sick and they SHALL recover". It doesn't say they might, or maybe if Jesus feels like it, but as time went on, I realized that my husband IS healed! Just not in the way I wanted which would be by being still on this earth.

 

[dayhiker]

I think my Ex was angry with me. I don't blame her. Seems to be she verbalized it a few times but never got emotional or violent over it.

 

[dayhiker]

Divorce Care 4 last night .. depression. They must have listed 8 or so symptoms of depression .. I had about 6 of them. But I also did many of the things they said one should do to keep depression from taking over ones life.

I also was thankful for how the church we were attending stood by us and helped us. I wasn't alone, or kicked to the side of the road, but had things they wanted me to do and a lot of time spent with people. Places were I could talk about the issues I had.

I spent days reading to understand the Bible and the issues I was facing. It lead to some real answers for my life, doesn't God's Word always lead to that. But it wasn't the answers that the church leaders expected! So eventually they asked me to not come to their men's retreat!

 

[blackribbon]

Dayhiker,

I don't think you will probably ever find yourself with a highly emotional woman...a woman that can deal with your more "Spock-like" way of approaching life would be a woman who had a pretty solid control of her emotions or maybe was somewhat "Spock-like" herself. However, don't let that totally mislead you because most women are emotional creature on some level. It is a biological thing.

 

[dayhiker]

black ... your right about my "Spock-like" way. One of my best friends often calls me Mr Spock. I know in the past I used to view emotions from a stoic perspective, part of which was that emotions aren't good for much. But I had to admit that god created us as emotional beings, so I don't think of emotions that way any longer.

I think that they biggest problem I have in relating to others emotions is I'm terrible at showing empathy. I have learned to express empathic words when its appropriate. Yet I don't have the emotions behind those works, so the words have a hollow feeling to some. So they can read me as being insincere. I just hope in the long run people get to know me and know that I'm doing my best to be there for them when they need empathy.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Wow! they asked you NOT to come to the men's retreat? Do you still go to that church?

Maybe you have an issue with "showing" empathy, but you are caring and empathetic IMO. It is important in life that we say what we mean and we mean what we say, so being sincere is very important, and people can pick up on it when you aren't.

I work with a manager that tries too hard. She is very annoying for this reason and others like giving you too much to do and not enought time to do it, but she "tries" to sound like she cares and she'll say something like "I'm SO glad your here tonight! I'm excited!" but it doesn't come across very sincere. I'm not even saying that she is NOT sincere, it just never hits me right. Can't dog her too much for trying though.

 

[dayhiker]

Michelle, no my EX continued to go to that church so I wasn't attending it any longer. But it was a great men's retreat so I really enjoyed it.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle, no my EX continued to go to that church so I wasn't attending it any longer. But it was a great men's retreat so I really enjoyed it.

I thought you said they asked you not to come? You went anyway? Or did they just ask you not to come back?

 

[dayhiker]

I had gone to that men's retreat while I was married and attending the church plus a year or two while in the divorce process. Then they asked me not to attended. I of course respected their wishes. One of my best friends who attended even wrote a letter to the pastor pleading my case. But the answer still was, "No."

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I had gone to that men's retreat while I was married and attending the church plus a year or two while in the divorce process. Then they asked me not to attended. I of course respected their wishes. One of my best friends who attended even wrote a letter to the pastor pleading my case. But the answer still was, "No."

WOW I've never (well I probably have) heard of such a thing!

 

[blackribbon]

I suspect your views on sex probably poses a problem too. While I don't believe that sex outside of marriage is the huge sin that most Christians believe, I do believe that it is not the best way to live a Christian life....because sex outside of marriage almost always hurts someone in one way or another (more often the woman). It is like slavery which isn't forbidden by the Bible either, but I think a Christian would have a real hard time saying that it is okay for a Christian to literally own another person.

 

[renewed21]

I suspect your views on sex probably poses a problem too. While I don't believe that sex outside of marriage is the huge sin that most Christians believe, I do believe that it is not the best way to live a Christian life....because sex outside of marriage almost always hurts someone in one way or another (more often the woman). It is like slavery which isn't forbidden by the Bible either, but I think a Christian would have a real hard time saying that it is okay for a Christian to literally own another person.

I am sorry BR, but how do you get that slavery isn't forbidden by God's Word? Doesn't Christ say that the second greatest command is to love your brother.

 

[blackribbon]

I am sorry BR, but how do you get that slavery isn't forbidden by God's Word? Doesn't Christ say that the second greatest command is to love your brother.

There are plenty places where the Bible gives instruction on how you are supposed to treat slaves or how slaves are suppose to behave...and I can't remember any that forbid it. This was the justification for slavery in the early days of our country. Yes, I believe that you can't love your neighbor as yourself and enslave them...and I believe that slavery is wrong...but it is not directly forbidden.

 

[dayhiker]

I agree that slavery isn't forbidden in the Bible. Slavery was a way of a person dealing with a financial debt that they couldn't pay, they could sell themselves into slavery and pay off the debt. The problem came when slave owners never allowed the slave to work their way to freedom. American slavery was bad from the beginning. Slavery were captured, stolen from their family and tribe and shipped across the world so there was no way back home. They were treated badly and if they somehow won their freedom the south wrote laws that any slave could be captured and bought back from anywhere. Those that captured black men weren't too concern if they were free or slave, they wanted the money from the capture. So there was no justice, no love, no respect.

There was in Bible times a love slave. A person who so loved working for their master that they asked to become a love slave. They had a special ear ring put in their ear that indicated that.

Also remember the year of Jubilee where all debts were forgiven. Slave who had a debt would be set free also if the system worked the way it was suppose to. As Paul say but rather use your freedom.

 

[dayhiker]

So I got to take some medicine, seems I have a yeast infection from my left hip back onto my butt! Wonder how I got that! Nurse says you know the yeast is everywhere!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

is it like a rash? it DOES seem odd for you to have that lol

On another note, can I just say I HATE VOTING! I really want all the incumbants out, but at the same time I am afraid of the new guy getting in and voting only for his/her party! What to do what to do....

Where do you get your info to figure out who you should vote for?

 

[dayhiker]

Yes, it does have some similarities to a rash. In a way it does seem odd, but it is the same family as jock itch and athlete’s foot. So in reality with fungus everywhere around us so thank God that our skin protects us so well.

Voting .. I really like the idea of voting. But again Ron Paul mend the comment that I matches my thinking the best. He was asked if we should have a 3rd party. He replied, "It would be nice to have a 2nd party." In general it seems to me no matter which party is in power things go about the same. So things basically aren't much different from party to party. So I have no one I feel comfortable voting for.