Masturbation!

[Nightson]

I know that it's ABSOLUTELY wrong! Absolutely! No question! Do you people not read Revelation 17? That's applying to everything to do with the sexual immorality! Also, yeah, sure the Bible itself doesn't say the direct word, but let's think logically for a moment - Where's somewhere you could go to get answers (well, actually, lies, but you'll get my logic in a moment). The SATANIC Bible ENCOURAGES it! Okay, now this is where logic should kick in... if the Satanic religion is encouraged to do it, then....... Should we, as Christians?


And also, think about it, why would Jesus want us to do self-sex if he says to wait for marriage?

It's a very bad sign that I thought your post was a parody until I read it twice.

1. Why is masturbation sexual immorality?
2. If the satatnists told you they didn't jump off bridges.....
3. Interesting you mention logic, look up ad hominem
4. Masturbation isn't sex.

 

[Dislike]

I know that it's ABSOLUTELY wrong! Absolutely! No question! Do you people not read Revelation 17? That's applying to everything to do with the sexual immorality! Also, yeah, sure the Bible itself doesn't say the direct word, but let's think logically for a moment - Where's somewhere you could go to get answers (well, actually, lies, but you'll get my logic in a moment). The SATANIC Bible ENCOURAGES it! Okay, now this is where logic should kick in... if the Satanic religion is encouraged to do it, then....... Should we, as Christians?

And also, think about it, why would Jesus want us to do self-sex if he says to wait for marriage?

The satanic bible also encourages eating. Starve, please.

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

.

 

[Dislike]

Waxing your carrot?

Jerking the worm.

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

.

 

[Dislike]

That makes a little more sense.

Or polishing the pistol.

 

[psychedelicist]

I know that it's ABSOLUTELY wrong! Absolutely! No question! Do you people not read Revelation 17? That's applying to everything to do with the sexual immorality! Also, yeah, sure the Bible itself doesn't say the direct word, but let's think logically for a moment - Where's somewhere you could go to get answers (well, actually, lies, but you'll get my logic in a moment). The SATANIC Bible ENCOURAGES it! Okay, now this is where logic should kick in... if the Satanic religion is encouraged to do it, then....... Should we, as Christians?

The satanic bible also says not to harm little children. It's one of the 11 satanic statements if I'm not mistaken. It also condemns counterproductive pride. By your logic you should go kill a little kid and go brag about it till it gets you thrown in prison.

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

.

 

[Blizzard1]

Of course it's a sin to use sex organs for uses other than reproduction. Haven't you read the Bible?

 

[Dislike]

Haha! Stop

Threading the needle?

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

.

 

[Dislike]

Never heard that one either.

I'm making these up, really. Pumping the piston, whitewashing the palm, cleaning the drain, hugging the one-eyed man...

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

.

 

[Dislike]

I guess it's good to know you're using your creative abilities.

Oh yeah, but I'm better at creating gods/realities.

...Releasing the preasure, leaking the hose, softening the wood...

 

[NPH]

Of course it's a sin to use sex organs for uses other than reproduction. Haven't you read the Bible?

So, what do I do when I really really REALLY gotta use the restroom then?

 

[Dislike]

So, what do I do when I really really REALLY gotta use the restroom then?

Rupture your bladder.

 

[NPH]

Oh yeah, but I'm better at creating gods/realities.

...Releasing the preasure, leaking the hose, softening the wood...

** nevermind, don't want to get a warning **

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

Rupture your bladder.

That does seem like the logical conclusion.

 

[Dislike]

That does seem like the logical conclusion.

Or get a tube hooked up.

 

[Lycaenidae]

Threading the needle?

Going on a date with Rosie Palm?