What are you doing to ensure you will be a good husband?Don't just throw Proverbs 31 at me, assume that is a given. Give me the honest truth as it pertains to modern women in the US. What are warning signs that I should not brush under the carpet? What are signs she is a good or bad pick for a wife.
http://www.christianforums.com/t7554363-post57317602/#post57317602
Originally Posted by Gabe7
Don't just throw Proverbs 31 at me, assume that is a given. Give me the honest truth as it pertains to modern women in the US. What are warning signs that I should not brush under the carpet? What are signs she is a good or bad pick for a wife.
Reply by Jane
What are you doing to ensure you will be a good husband?
The two go together though. That's why I'm asking. I'm wondering what kind of work he is doing to become a good enough husband for this wonderful wife he is seeking. He can ignore me if he wants to. <shrug>Jane that is a good topic for another thread. This thread is about
“What are warning signs that I should not brush under the carpet? What are signs she is a good or bad pick for a wife.”
So basically you need to find a quiet, docile, obedient woman who puts out regularly and without complaint, who will attend to your every need and never have a bad mood or negative thought,
Yes, a virgin who loves sex. What an ideal for a bride. But how would she know how much she loves sex if she is a virgin? It is good if a woman has a healthy attitude toward sex and if both husband and wife go into marriage with the understanding that each is to meet the other's sexual needs. If both are virgins, sex drive may be hard to predict. If she is not a virgin and says she has a high sex drive, we've all heard the stereotype of women who love sex before marriage, but don't want to have it much after marriage. (Maybe this is a bad side effect of fornication for some people.)who is a virgin that loves sex, who doesn't have any ambitions of her own except to serve you and the lord.
Good point. And if a young man finds a woman like this, he should ask himself, "If she is so perfect, why would she want to be with me?" I suppose there are a number of godly women who fit all or most of these characteristics, but some of these things can take time to develop beyond an ideal age for marriage. Some of this type of character development comes through difficulties faced in marriage.Good luck with that.
This type of flawless, perfect person does not exist.
Docile and obedient? Being obedient to God is a positive characteristic. I Peter 3 encourages wives with the example of the submission of Sarah who 'obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.' If a girlfriend is obedient to her boyfriend, that isn't necessarily a positive sign, though. Obedience to her father is. If she is obedient to her boyfriend, she could be the codependent type. If she is obedient to her parents because this is what the Lord commands, even though she is the type of person who knows how to think on her own, who has a will, a drive to do things, that is good. Power under control is a good thing. Self-control and obedience to the word of God are good things.
Yes, a virgin who loves sex. What an ideal for a bride. But how would she know how much she loves sex if she is a virgin? It is good if a woman has a healthy attitude toward sex and if both husband and wife go into marriage with the understanding that each is to meet the other's sexual needs. If both are virgins, sex drive may be hard to predict. If she is not a virgin and says she has a high sex drive, we've all heard the stereotype of women who love sex before marriage, but don't want to have it much after marriage. (Maybe this is a bad side effect of fornication for some people.)
I want to say something about lillivanilli, but I won't. She has to deal with God for her "views".
I agree with you on most of that. But what if doesn't have parents? (mine were dead by the time I got married). What are you going to use for your "indicator" then? What if her parents were abusive, neglectful, horrible people and she has cut them out of her life? Judging a woman by her relationship with her parents is not the greatest, because you don't know the extenuating circumstances.
I wonder if any couples actually negotiate that out beforehand.And like I said, nobody, NOBODY can say today that "yes, I will have sex with you 3 times per week" or whatever and be expected to be held to that in the future.
I wouldn't consider sex out of obligation to be rape. That really cheapens the definition of rape. Some guys do that when they don't feel like it, too, I suppose. It doesn't sound like that much fun for either party. If both the husband and wife are generous committed to meeting the other's needs, and are willing to try to get in the mood, it works out better.So many factors go into a person's desire. And forcing a person to have sex (even out of obligation) is nothing more than rape my friend. Hope none of you men here guilt your wives into doing something she doesn't feel like doing. Sex should be mutual and ENJOYABLE...it should never be an obligation. You are just setting yourself up for future disappointment and resentment if that's your view.
I want to say something about lillivanilli, but I won't. She has to deal with God for her "views".
I knew that!
I sometimes get caught up in trying to correct people. Which can be an issues because people then assume I am being self rigtheous when its not realy the case. I admiteddly sin and have flaws like everyone else. I'm no where near perfect. If I correct someone its more of me wanting to help them because I don't want to see any brother or sister go in the wrong direction. I just felt Lillis comment felt a little judgy like she was stereotyping men.
Its unfair to think men want quite, docile women to rule over. There are men that do want that, but not everyone feels like that.
Don't just throw Proverbs 31 at me, assume that is a given. Give me the honest truth as it pertains to modern women in the US. What are warning signs that I should not brush under the carpet? What are signs she is a good or bad pick for a wife.
I have been divorced 3 times so I can tell you what not to marry...
high school sweetheart
girl you met at the bar
girl you work with
All of this happened before I got serious with Christ and figured out that the main problem was myself.
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