Married 3 times, shared a lot

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Matt 7:1-5
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

the usual 'go to' passage for those who don't want to be called to account for their actions.

this verse speaks against hypocrisy in judgement, not judging in and of itself, else it would contradict 1 Corinthians 5.

 

[blackribbon]

how is encouraging people to do something scripture clearly prohibits not a form of active rebellion?

According to Matt 5:32. She already is committing adultery by just having her husband divorce her for a non-sexual related sin on her part. And it is her ex-husband's fault.

 

[blackribbon]

the usual 'go to' passage for those who don't want to be called to account for their actions.

this verse speaks against hypocrisy in judgement, not judging in and of itself, else it would contradict 1 Corinthians 5.

So what is my purpose? I haven't sinned in this manner. I am free to remarry. I am not dating anyone so not considering a divorced man. However, if I do get married, I am not going to expect a perfect man who is living a sinless life. I will be looking for someone who is humble servant of God and daily trying to follow Jesus' teachings including daily repenting of human failings . I will not hold past transgressions against him if he has repented. This is how I hope to be judged too.

I am okay with you looking for the sinless woman as long as you offer up as equally sinless life in ALL areas of life. Good luck.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

According to Matt 5:32. She already is committing adultery by just having her husband divorce her for a non-sexual related sin on her part. And it is her ex-husband's fault.

doesn't negate the fact that she would be an adulterous if she marries again while her former husband is still alive as well as not negating the fact that she is in active rebellion if she chooses to do so.

So what is my purpose? I haven't sinned in this manner. I am free to remarry. I am not dating anyone so not considering a divorced man. However, if I do get married, I am not going to expect a perfect man who is living a sinless life. I will be looking for someone who is humble servant of God and daily trying to follow Jesus' teachings including daily repenting of human failings . I will not hold past transgressions against him if he has repented. This is how I hope to be judged too.

I am okay with you looking for the sinless woman as long as you offer up as equally sinless life in ALL areas of life. Good luck.

….another tangent..

 

[ThisIsMe123]

doesn't negate the fact that she would be an adulterous if she marries again while her former husband is still alive as well as not negating the fact that she is in active rebellion if she chooses to do so.

If the ex-husband remarries another woman, this releases her of her obligation to not remarry.

….another tangent..

Not really , it goes back to what I stated earlier. She is demonstrating that nobodies perfect, everybody sins and thus is why God sent his only son to forgive us our sins. The sin of adultery, lust, re-marrying, etc.

Sure it's a sin, but...we're forgiven via Jesus. Nobody's perfect. If I marry a divorced woman...sure it'll be a sin, but we're forgiven of our sins. I think that's what ribbon is getting at.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

If the ex-husband remarries another woman, this releases her of her obligation to not remarry.

if you want to ignore the scriptures and do what you want...sure. just understand that this would be active rebellion on your part.

Not really , it goes back to what I stated earlier. She is demonstrating that nobodies perfect, everybody sins and thus is why God sent his only son to forgive us our sins. The sin of adultery, lust, re-marrying, etc.

Sure it's a sin, but...we're forgiven via Jesus. Nobody's perfect. If I marry a divorced woman...sure it'll be a sin, but we're forgiven of our sins. I think that's what ribbon is getting at.

so you know it's a sin before you do it and you do it anyway, but this isn't active rebellion and repenting from this sin would not require you to end an adulterous relationship...gotcha.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

if you want to ignore the scriptures and do what you want...sure. just understand that this would be active rebellion on your part.


so you know it's a sin before you do it and you do it anyway, but this isn't active rebellion and repenting from this sin would not require you to end an adulterous relationship...gotcha.

You mean, the only sin that's forgiven are the one's we weren't aware of being a sin? Like if I shoplift something, it's stealing and a sin. I knew it was wrong, I won't do it again. Temptation got the best of me. I'll own up to it. Am I not forgiven?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

You mean, the only sin that's forgiven are the one's we weren't aware of being a sin?

refusing to repent of sin is active rebellion against the LORD. remaining in an adulterous relationship when you know it's an adulterous relationship is active rebellion against the LORD.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'll leave this here:

Is it a Sin to Marry a Divorced Person?

Towards the end...

So let's just put a cap on all of this. Because we are broken, we sin, but we are forgiven through the grace of God. Divorce is not the unforgiven sin; unbelief is. You have to search your own heart, asking God if this is the woman for you. If her past and how she divorced is a problem for you, then you shouldn't marry her. God will tell you what is right for you. Remember, guilt is from the enemy and conviction is from God.

 

[Burn4U]

I had been speaking to this local woman I met online. I think I may have mentioned her in a previous post. Old school presbyterian.

Well, I found out she was married and divorced 3 times. Among other things, I found out she's really been through a lot. Has a major history and had been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

She said that after her saying all that, she would understand if I wouldn't be interested in pursing things with her. I did concur and said that the 3 marriage situation is kind of a tough pill for me to swallow.

She said that isn't that proud of her history of choosing poor partners, but she's learned from that and is ready, if anything, be willing to marry again. But she also said, if God chooses her to remain single, then so be it.

Her church leaders told me in her sitaution, that remarriage would be okay based on a series of Bible entries.

She said that while God abhors divorce, the Old Testament said something how the brother should marry (a kinsman redeemer). That also a desertion of an unbelieving spouse would allow her to remarry..in addition to sexual immorality.

So in all instances, her ex's abandoned, left her outright.

She thinks that some Christians tend to not consider Old Testament knowledge as part of living, even though Christ's Resurrection was claimed to have done so.

But I don't find it too appealing to have come across someone that's been divorced 3 times regardless...so I can't be sure this would happen again or if she would even be marriage material because of it?

Then don't get attached to her, or marry her. But if you actually do love her through and through, why would you give 2 shakes of a dog's tail what her past is?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

here's another one:

Cognitive Dissonance

people have to rationalize their life choices somehow. it is what it is.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

The thing is, are we talking Old Testament or New Testament teachings? The Old Testament justifies just about ANY reason that divorce and marriage is allowed, while the New Testament does not.

The woman in question, of course has been married 3 times and well, that's an entirely red flag altogether, said that Christians tend to do away with Old Testament stuff. Perhaps it's her old school Presbyterian teaching emphasizes this.

So which Testament should we go with?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

The thing is, are we talking Old Testament or New Testament teachings?

if we are going to go with Jesus' teaching on the subject of how we treat our enemies, then we need to go with Jesus' teaching on divorce.

you can't pick and choose.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

if we are going to go with Jesus' teaching on the subject of how we treat our enemies, then we need to go with Jesus' teaching on divorce.

you can't pick and choose.

That's tangential

 

[blackribbon]

If Jesus is so concerned about divorced women remarrying, why did he not address this as sin with the Samaritan woman at the well ( John 4 )? He simply noted her honesty (she had 5 husbands and was now living with a man). He was concerned with her salvation and said she would be saved. Not one word that she should repent from her living arrangements ... not even that she should leave the man she was living with.

The woman in the OP has been left 3 times. The men are sinning by not living up to their responsibility of loving her and taking care of her like they take care of themselves. She did not commit a sexual sin. She has been wronged 3 times and yet you want to hold her up as a sinner. If I were interested in her as a potential partner, I'd find out what role she played but she is blameless if she didn't have an affair. Jesus' nature is not to condemn someone of a sin that was done to them not matter how you want to legalistically read a few select verses. Someday we will all know how God really feels about divorced people, but I suspect that her mourns for the broken relationships and loves the brokenhearted...instead of standing in angry judgement.

Out of curiosity, how do you believe God feels about the polygamy relationships in the OT like King David? Were the second and third wives guilty of adultery even though they were married to their husband? Are women limited to one marriage once, unless their husband dies? God loved David. And Solomon and his line is not through the first wife of David so God blessed the line that started with an adulterous affair.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

That's tangential

except it isn't. you talked about old testament vs. new testament when it's actually about old revelation vs. new revelation. you always go with the newest revelation. Jesus is prophet, priest, and king. His ruling on divorce is THE ruling on divorce.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

If Jesus is so concerned about divorced women remarrying, why did he not address this as sin with the Samaritan woman at the well ( John 4 )?

I was waiting for this story to be brought up. thought it would happen a lot sooner.

a simple question would be does Jesus approve of adultery because he didn't rebuke the woman caught in adultery? Jesus not rebuking these women for their actions was not a rubber stamp on their behavior but rather our Lord giving us an example of how we approach the unbeliever with the gospel in that we focus on the offer of the gospel to change hearts and minds first and behavior modification and judgement for trespasses second.

the apostle paul tells us while we do judge those inside, we don't judge those outside(1 Corinthians 5:12-13). also, concluding that Jesus approved of divorce and remarriage as well as fornication in this case would contradict his sermon on the mount in matthew 5, his response to the Pharisees in matthew 19, and the apostle Paul's words in romans 7 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

She has been wronged 3 times and yet you want to hold her up as a sinner.

adultery is sin. scripture would call her an adulterous if she began another romantic relationship while her husband is still alive.

 

[blackribbon]

adultery is sin. scripture would call her an adulterous if she began another romantic relationship while her husband is still alive.

Even though he left her? God made her to be a sexual being and she gets punished and isolated ... told to give up her sexuality because of her husband's sin of desertion? Doesn't sound like the God I serve.

As for the woman at the well, there is a difference from approving of a something and just overlooking it. It obviously wasn't a big enough deal for Christ to address. He simply acknowledged it. However, you consider it a big enough deal to condemn those around you and spend this much time trying to proving that God is an unjust and judgemental god. Hmmm....

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Even though he left her?

even though he left her...

As for the woman at the well, there is a difference from approving of a something and just overlooking it

i explained to you why He overlooked it.

you consider it a big enough deal to condemn those around you and spend this much time trying to proving that God is an unjust and judgemental god.

you consider this a big enough deal to say what is plainly layed out in scripture is not saying what it's saying because.......mu' feelz.