Married 3 times, shared a lot

[blackribbon]

The sin on her part is marrying another man afterward. And he sins, too. And the original husband sins. It's not that hard to get
when you read the text honestly.

Where else in the Bible show that a person can sin without doing anything wrong herself? The only thing this woman did wrong is marry a jerk who lets her down. You are saying that she should live alone afterwards because her first husband defaulted of his sacred duty to love and care for her? In Biblical days, this would have meant living without protection or support and in poverty. The wrong is the man's.

Maybe the sin of adultery means the 1st marriage since the 1st husband didn't really commit in the Biblical sense to marry her for life. Maybe she committed adultery when she had sex with the man who never mentally married her...and the second marriage is the real marriage that was cheated on. Making the first husband also guilty of adultery ... as well as a liar and a user.

 

[Sketcher]

Where else in the Bible show that a person can sin without doing anything wrong herself? The only thing this woman did wrong is marry a jerk who lets her down. You are saying that she should live alone afterwards because her first husband defaulted of his sacred duty to love and care for her? In Biblical days, this would have meant living without protection or support and in poverty. The wrong is the man's.

Maybe the sin of adultery means the 1st marriage since the 1st husband didn't really commit in the Biblical sense to marry her for life. Maybe she committed adultery when she had sex with the man who never mentally married her...and the second marriage is the real marriage that was cheated on. Making the first husband also guilty of adultery ... as well as a liar and a user.

She did do something wrong, she remarried while he still lives. That doesn't negate the wrong that he did to her one iota. This is no better than Eve eating the fruit. The serpent sinned and deceived her, causing her to stumble and making the sin attractive. She sinned by eating. Adam sinned by eating when she gave him the fruit. Similarly, the first man sinned by divorcing the woman, causing her to stumble and putting her in circumstances where sin is attractive. She sins when she takes a second man, and the second man sins when he takes her.

 

[blackribbon]

She did do something wrong, she remarried while he still lives. That doesn't negate the wrong that he did to her one iota. This is no better than Eve eating the fruit. The serpent sinned and deceived her, causing her to stumble and making the sin attractive. She sinned by eating. Adam sinned by eating when she gave him the fruit. Similarly, the first man sinned by divorcing the woman, causing her to stumble and putting her in circumstances where sin is attractive. She sins when she takes a second man, and the second man sins when he takes her.

Again, her sin is what? When is marriage a sin? Is there actually a verse that prohibits polygamy? (I don't support this but can't think of where it is prohibited. Many of God's chosen people had more than one spouse). I think the first marriage might be the adultery since it isn't really a marriage (since it isn't a marriage to death).

This is very different than Eve and the apple. Eve violated a direct order from God. A person who is divorced for reasons other than personal infidelity is an innocent person who was violated and abused by her former spouse. She is not damaged goods because her husband did not live up to his vows given to her and God.

 

[blackribbon]

When he is still alive, is she still required to submit to him or obey him? Does he still have an obligation to support her? Are they still married in God's eyes? If not, how can she be involved in adultery? Adultery is sex outside of marriage. Should the church support women deserted by their husbands until they are able to support themselves so they don't need to seek a partner?

 

[Sketcher]

Again, her sin is what? When is marriage a sin? Is there actually a verse that prohibits polygamy? (I don't support this but can't think of where it is prohibited. Many of God's chosen people had more than one spouse). I think the first marriage might be the adultery since it isn't really a marriage (since it isn't a marriage to death).

This is very different than Eve and the apple. Eve violated a direct order from God. A person who is divorced for reasons other than personal infidelity is an innocent person who was violated and abused by her former spouse. She is not damaged goods because her husband did not live up to his vows given to her and God.

Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 are direct orders from God the Son.

"Damaged goods" is a completely different conversation.

Should the church support women deserted by their husbands until they are able to support themselves so they don't need to seek a partner?

If they have the resources, why not.

 

[blackribbon]

Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9 are direct orders from God the Son.

"Damaged goods" is a completely different conversation.

If they have the resources, why not.

Why if only they have the resources? If the husband divorces his wife for reasons other than infidelity, is he still married to her in the eyes of God or not? If he is, then he is still bound to the vows he made before her and God to love her as he loves himself which would include providing for her as he does himself. If he isn't married anymore, then she isn't married and it isn't adultery with the new man she marries because adultery is defined as sex outside of marriage.

Maybe the problem is with how the original words of Jesus were translated into English. Because God is a just God and punishing a woman for the sins of her husband is not Biblical. Getting married is not considered a sin.

 

[dayhiker]

I find it interesting that some people interpret the Bible to say once we are married we are always married to that person till they die. No were in the OT is that stated. Nor does the NT say one can never get a divorce. If Jesus was going to change what the Jews taught on divorce He would have had to change a whole lot of teaching.
One simple example is what the divorce paperwork stated. The divorce writ said, "Your are now free to marry any man." Now if that wasn't true, then Jesus would have had to teach us what that a divorce writ should say.

Now why was Jesus saying a person who married committing adultery? Will as Blackribbon stated its married people who commit adultery. Was the people Jesus talking to married? Yes, they were if we know the situation in Jesus' time. You see when a man divorced his wife not only was he to give her the divorce writ that said she would marry any man, but he was also suppose to give the dowry back to her. This was how the woman's family planned for her care even if the marriage didn't work out. But the men didn't want to give they dowry back, and so they put away their wife. IE they didn't divorce them, they just kicked them out of the house. We see this in Mat.19:9. Put away and divorce aren't synonyms.
So the man who marries a woman who was put away is marring a woman who is already married. That is adultery.
A man who marries a woman who is divorced doesn't commit adultery because she isn't already married.

 

[bèlla]

She thinks that some Christians tend to not consider Old Testament knowledge as part of living, even though Christ's Resurrection was claimed to have done so.

I’m conversant in the Old Testament and would not consider a thrice divorced man. I doubt if I’m alone in that feeling. It would add more to my plate and stresses I’m unwilling to take on.

If it’s her goal to marry she is best suited to the person whose estimation of her person outweighs the discomfort he may feel. And he’d need some measure of patience to handle any lingering issues from her previous relationships.

This is not a case where idealism or pep talks should be engaged. You must know what you’re walking into and have faith and peace about its future. The same holds true for all marriages.

 

[blackribbon]

A person who has never been divorced is not necessary less risk for getting divorced than a person who has been divorced 3 times. Every 3 times divorced person has been a married undivorce person at some time in their life. It may only suggest that this person is attracted to who are not good marriage partners...and if this person is attracted to you, maybe it is time to look in the mirror. Or maybe they have learned and grown. Or maybe they weren't Christians at the time of their other marriages.

I'd look carefully at a divorced person's life but I am not arrogant enough to say I'd never marry one based on that fact alone.

 

[bèlla]

I don’t think it’s arrogant to acknowledge a situation may be more than you can handle. Most can cite issues they felt were manageable but later found themselves in over their heads. And more than a few relationships are undertaken under this premise with expectations for change.

Some people are comfortable taking on things others are not. It is a mark of maturity and self-awareness to admit the truth.

 

[Lost4words]

With a 3 marriage record, i would be running away from her faster that Bolt!

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

One simple example is what the divorce paperwork stated. The divorce writ said, "Your are now free to marry any man."

can you provide evidence for this?

and even if this were actually true, matthew 19:7-9 directly addresses this. moses gave the people of isreal the provision because of hardness of heart. Jesus amended this provision by proclaiming anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery.

 

[blackribbon]

I don’t think it’s arrogant to acknowledge a situation may be more than you can handle. Most can cite issues they felt were manageable but later found themselves in over their heads. And more than a few relationships are undertaken under this premise with expectations for change.

Some people are comfortable taking on things others are not. It is a mark of maturity and self-awareness to admit the truth.

How do you know that this would be more than you can handle. Divorced people can be like any other single people. No children. No contact. And maybe even a long time since they were divorced. Or the marriage was quickly realized to be a mistake.

I do think it is arrogant to say that you would NEVER do something. I think it rates up there with "I wouldn't ever marry a red-head" because I don't find that attractive (me...oops, married one and am now very attracted to red-heads and disappointed because my kids got my blond hair instead). JMO. You are free to think or state otherwise

 

[blackribbon]

can you provide evidence for this?

and even if this were actually true, matthew 19:7-9 directly addresses this. moses gave the people of isreal the provision because of hardness of heart. Jesus amended this provision by proclaiming anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery.

Actually your link says "put away", not divorced as Jesus' words.

 

[bèlla]

How do you know that this would be more than you can handle. Divorced people can be like any other single people. No children. No contact. And maybe even a long time since they were divorced. Or the marriage was quickly realized to be a mistake.

I’m not a child. I am aware of the things I will gladly take on and those that would be inappropriate for me. If you are willing to consider a divorced prospect that’s great. But your comfort zone isn’t the same as the next.

The important thing in all of this is our willingness to live with the consequences of our decisions. Whether we exercise greater liberality in our selections or less.

 

[blackribbon]

I’m not a child. I am aware of the things I will gladly take on and those that would be inappropriate for me. If you are willing to consider a divorced prospect that’s great. But your comfort zone isn’t the same as the next.

The important thing in all of this is our willingness to live with the consequences of our decisions. Whether we exercise greater liberality in our selections or less.

I am willing to love anyone that God sends my way that needs love. That isn't limited or exclusive to people I intend to marry. But I won't rule out that I might actually fall in love with someone who has a past that isn't ideal along the way.

I have found that the minute I tell God that I won't do something, that He sort of considers it a challenge to prove me otherwise. He is always right. I don't do it anymore.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Actually your link says "put away", not divorced as Jesus' words.

Which is what you do when you divorce someone..

 

[blackribbon]

Which is what you do when you divorce someone..

Says who? I have never heard anyone say "my husband put me away". Dayhiker has studied Biblical history extensively (I know him from more than this site and for quite a few years). He says it means discarding your wife without her legally required divorce papers (which say she is free to remarry) or her dowry. That makes sense in the context of what Jesus stands for. A woman put away is still legally married and just deserted by her husband....so if she got in another relationship it would be adultery. It makes sense that this is how a man could cause an innocent party to sin.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Says who?

Says Jesus...

More later, I'm at work.

 

[bèlla]

I am willing to love anyone that God sends my way that needs love. That isn't limited or exclusive to people I intend to marry. But I won't rule out that I might actually fall in love with someone who has a past that isn't ideal along the way.

I don’t recall anyone suggesting they’d withhold love to those they encountered. But that wouldn’t imply each individual is suitable as a companion. We needn’t look far to realize the importance of wisdom in our decisions. The marriage boards provide poignant examples for our benefit.

I have found that the minute I tell God that I won't do something, that He sort of considers it a challenge to prove me otherwise. He is always right. I don't do it anymore.

My mind is focused on Him and the mission He has assigned. Not acquiring a companion. That hasn’t limited interest or the opportunities which come my way. He has the matter in hand.