Ma M8

[leigh01]

Hey Recently Ma M8 Got Really Depressed Cuz A Couple Of WEEKS Ago Starting Cutting And Si I Told Her To Tell A friend or teacher se is bi and i dont fink ppl accept that but i du
what shud i do
love leigh
xxxx
love ya nat
xxxx

 

[nessa]

You can't force your friend to stop hurting herself. She has to WANT the help. I know because my best friend tried to get me to stop. There are really only 2 things trhat you can do...

1) be there for her and listen when she needs to talk
2) keep praying for her

If you keep those up, in a matter of time, she will stop.

 

[pockleberry]

I guess i wanna echo that a bit. The most important thing for you to do is to be there for her. Don't go tell her the reasons why it is wrong tell her the reasons why she deserves more than that. I know for me that it's one of the things that helps me most is ppl building my self esteem. If she gets to a place where she she can be happy with herself then she will most likly not feel the need to cut. Be a friend that she can talk to you about what is going on. I just realised that i kinda assumed she had low self esteem im sorry if that wasnt right but all the stuff i said is still good and will help.

 

[leigh01]

she knows i'm always there for her and always will be i love her totally and will never tur away so that she is alone i know about her probs and i have tried to help as mch as possible !!! thanx guys
xxxxxx

 

[Catherineanne]

Hey Recently Ma M8 Got Really Depressed Cuz A Couple Of WEEKS Ago Starting Cutting And Si I Told Her To Tell A friend or teacher se is bi and i dont fink ppl accept that but i du
what shud i do
love leigh
xxxx
love ya nat
xxxx

It might help if you told your friend that you understand why she is doing this, and that if she gets help, the people she sees will also understand.

First of all, what she is doing is not 'wrong'; that is a moral judgment, which is not applicable to a symptom of an illness. If we fall into using words like that then it is a small step to making her feel as if she is bad for doing this, and she is not; she is unwell. Cutting is no more wrong than not sleeping, or lacking concentration. It just is. However, like those other symptoms, it is preventing her from having the life she could be having, and it is treatable.

When people fall into deep depression, they often find themselves disconnected from the people around them, as if they are surrounded by fog, or glass, or something which prevents them connecting with life. This is a very unpleasant state to be in; I know because I have been there. The person suffering from it cannot feel any emotions at all. It is like being dead, while still alive.

This is not something to condemn; this is something to be treated, and it can be treated.

What happens to this person, in this horrible not alive state is that they are desperate to reconnect; to feel. Often this reconnection can be achieved through a shock of some kind, and pain can provide that shock. Those who cut say that normally they do not feel anything when they start to cut, and it takes a while before the pain reaches them, but when it does it provides a great sense of release because they then feel as if they are alive again.

It is difficult to thank God for pain, when we see what extreme pain can do to destroy some people's lives. But on a lesser scale, pain tells us that we are still alive. That is what is happening here.

I have never used cutting myself, but I know the absolute pain of this complete disconnection from everyone and everything. It equates in some levels with definitions of hell, and that is not an overstatement. It is a terrible place to be.

Your friend needs to learn that there are other ways of overcoming this disconnection. It will not be easy, but she needs to talk to someone; this will not go away by itself. Perhaps you could offer to go with her to her doctor. You sound like a very good friend to have.

Your icons describe your mood as depressed. Is this because of your friend, or is there something else going on?

Peace be with you both.