Loosing it

[dragonbesas]

Hey everyone. I don't care who you are what you believe. I just need advice right now.

I used to be a pretty bad cutter. It's gotten easier but i'm still tempted...even now as we speak. I need advice, comfort, anything...i don't feel well and i don't want to let my friends and God down again.

 

[Kraezy]

Hey everyone. I don't care who you are what you believe. I just need advice right now.

I used to be a pretty bad cutter. It's gotten easier but i'm still tempted...even now as we speak. I need advice, comfort, anything...i don't feel well and i don't want to let my friends and God down again.

Well I don't know why you cut yourself but that isn't good... What is it that makes you do something to cause harm to yourself? I know that you have been through some bad stuff but you seemed so positive about it. Try to think about the positive things in your life. If guilt is a reason then try not to let it control you, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, you can get through anything. God is always there for you and so is Skylar, remember that. I understand, I don't have a problem with cutting but I do have a problem with suicide. I think suicidal thoughts often but the only thing that keeps me from acting is thinking of those that matter to me, thinking about letting them down, causing them sorrow, thinking about tipping the scales for those friends of mine that are also suicidal... I get by when I think about how amazing those people have been and how glad I am that they have entered my life. If guilt is a problem, like it is for me, and it is the cause, then just remember that God will forgive you for everything, and so will your friends if they are truly friends, and that you should also let go of it all. I am horrible at advice but this is the best I can think of...

 

[dragonbesas]

Thank you...i often forget how easy it is to loose my mind and i so often find myself forgetting about my loved ones...thanks for the reminder...it's helping

 

[nbiols]

Why do you cut?

 

[dragonbesas]

At first
curiosity then
depression then
addiction now
temptation...i keep remember how good it felt and then i can't focus on anything good...i can only think about what i failed to do for my friends...i loose my mind and forget..i think about what i read in the bible: not everyone gets a second chance...because i was addicted...i now take comfort in it when i can't remember anything else except my mistakes and the horrible truth of reality

i miss Mike and Clair..i want them back! they deserved more time and it was my fault..i can't think anything else right now....i couldn't stop them..i was right there and i was too scared to move...

 

[Terax]

it isn't your fault...
sometimes things happen and there is nothing we can do...

Try to keep yourself busy whenever you get the urges to cut. It helps sometimes to talk to people about it too.

If you ever need to rant to anyone I will gladly listen. I'm not good at comforting, but I love to listen to others.

 

[DarkLegend28]

I cut up until the point i scared getting scars and infections. It's not worth it.

 

[nbiols]

At first
curiosity then
depression then
addiction now
temptation...i keep remember how good it felt and then i can't focus on anything good...i can only think about what i failed to do for my friends...i loose my mind and forget..i think about what i read in the bible: not everyone gets a second chance...because i was addicted...i now take comfort in it when i can't remember anything else except my mistakes and the horrible truth of reality

We make mistakes so we can learn from them. Truth be told, we all get second chances...and third chances, and fourth, etc. etc. etc.. Life isn't so black and white.

i miss Mike and Clair..i want them back! they deserved more time and it was my fault..i can't think anything else right now....i couldn't stop them..i was right there and i was too scared to move...

People make their own decisions. You did what you could, but ultimately they made the decision they were going to make. There is no use in dwelling on the past, and honestly, if you think reality is horrible, would you really want them to be back here? At least where they are at they can finally rest. Honor their memories and try to be an example for them. Your friends wouldn't want you moping around hurting yourself because of them.

If you want to talk about this further, Xistence has already volunteered (and he is good at listening and being a friend). Plus, you can always send me a PM or something.

With blessings,
--BLP

 

[Kraezy]

At first
curiosity then
depression then
addiction now
temptation...i keep remember how good it felt and then i can't focus on anything good...i can only think about what i failed to do for my friends...i loose my mind and forget..i think about what i read in the bible: not everyone gets a second chance...because i was addicted...i now take comfort in it when i can't remember anything else except my mistakes and the horrible truth of reality

i miss Mike and Clair..i want them back! they deserved more time and it was my fault..i can't think anything else right now....i couldn't stop them..i was right there and i was too scared to move...

That is sad You can't blame yourself for everything though, it isn't your fault... You couldn't stop them, that is just it, they were going to do what they were going to do, you can't keep blaming yourself for that. You have to be strong for those around you. You can put this in your past, you can overcome your addiction. You have to realize that you couldn't help them though, it was out of your hands. You are not at fault

 

[Terax]

I don't know if this will help, but it is a list of alternatives to self harm...




Things you can do to de-escalate and divert an emergency


The best way to use this list is to pick a few that work for you and write them onto a piece of paper that you will keep with you. Often during times when you’ll need to remember these, you might forget them…a list is handy!

Also, as each person is different, it needs to be understood that not every one will work for every person. If any of the ideas listed would be a trigger instead if you were to use it, skip that suggestion completely! (And feel free to add your own!)

• Reach out – Call an understanding friend or someone you can trust.
• Find a ‘safe place’ – This place is somewhere that you choose where you absolutely refuse to have a destructive incident. This can be in a park, a room in your house or even a chair.
• Breathe – Take three slow, deep breaths (count slowly to four while breathing in, six breathing out).
• Count – slowly count to ten.
• Pray – Pray to God for strength.
• Turn it over – Turn your addiction, your will, your life over to the care of God.
• Ice bucket – Immersing your hand in a bucket of ice can help. The shock of the cold will provide enough of a ‘jolt’ without causing physical scarring. Holding on to an ice-cold can of drink works too, and it’s a lot more convenient.
• Cry – Cry if you want to. If you can (and don’t worry if you can’t).
• Feel – Acknowledge and feel your emotions, any emotions, instead of feeling numb.
• Write – You can write in a journal, on paper, or on the computer. You may choose to write a letter or e-mail to a friend or write scattered words, poetry, or words to a song.
• Listen – Listen to music or just to silence.
• Draw – Draw your feelings, draw anything. Colors are good for emotional expression! Go and get a box of crayons and start drawing…it will at least put you in a better mood. (Remember how much fun you had in kindergarten?).
• Use non-harmful alternatives – Use non-toxic red marking pens to write on yourself (instead of cutting).
• Let it out – Break sticks or throw a tennis ball against a wall…hard. Let your frustration out on it instead.
• Love your pets – Spend quality time with your cat, dog, or other pet. They will give you unconditional love .
• Eat something – Eat something that you like and can get enthusiastic about, such as ice-cream or a healthy treat like fresh strawberries. (But remember to stay away from caffeine when emotionally escalated!).
• Add comfort – Put on a soft, warm, comforting shirt or jacket. (Flannel or fleece are warm and snuggly).
• Help somebody else – When was the last time you gave a homeless person some money? Bring food over to someone who is sick. Visit an elderly person who is alone; read to a blind child; volunteer at a hospital, AIDS hospice or homeless shelter. You can find numbers for all of these in your local telephone book or on the internet.
• Clean the house – Vacuum and dust. Clean out your closet and give your old clothes to a charitable organization.
• Walk – Take a walk outside, or around the block. The fresh air and sunshine will help.
• Physical exercise – Sports, working out, walking, running, bike riding, etc. will give you energy and the endorphin release will do you good!
• Go shopping – Keep in mind that window-shopping can be just as good and cheaper .
• Exercise your brain – Do crossword puzzles or solve complex math problems.
• Focus – Do some kind of focused, absorbing visual type of work or craft. Eg. kitting, embroidery or a jigsaw puzzle.
• Read – Read a good book. Go to a library or bookstore and browse.
• Spend quality time with a child – Read, play, draw, color – have fun! Children are generally happy and light-hearted and enjoyable to be around.
• Go to a movie – Go to a movie or watch a DVD (but make sure it’s not triggering or violent).
• Socialize – Do some type of fun social activity with people you like (even if you don’t feel like it at the time).
• Embrace religion – Go to a church or similar where you can keep God as your focus.
• Go out into nature – Go to the mountains, the beach or the woods. Look at the sunset, or look up at the stars in the sky at night. Take in the things around you.
• Walk away – Remove yourself immediately from a negative situation. Walk away from a heated argument. Leave the party if people start using illegal drugs.
• Be productive – Balance your checkbook, finish your homework, etc. The positive reinforcement or accomplishing something will help you feel better.
• Make a list – Make a list such as “Goals for my future” or “Things to look forward to”.
• Do some writing exercises – Think of some things to write about, or use the following:
  • Negative beliefs and positive alternatives
  • Gratitude
  • Journaling/life writings
  • Reasons to get better
  • My goals and aspirations
  • Controlling my anger
  • How self-injury has harmed me
  • My ideal day
  • Things I like to do and things I look forward to
• Drive or ride – Take a long, peaceful drive, or ride around on the subways, buses or trains.
• Go to an art gallery – Visual stimuli can be very helpful.
• Improve your appearance – Experiment with different looks. Get a hair cut or style it differently. Experiment with clothes and fashion.
• Relax – take a nap.
• Have an attitude of gratitude – Even if you don’t feel grateful at the moment, start with the basics. Eg. “I have a roof over my head; I have food on my table; I have two arms and two legs and can walk and can see”. Don’t add any “but”s to those sentences.
• Sing – Sing out loud. The endorphin release will do you good.
• Dance – Find somewhere with live music or dance in your own living room.
• Cook – Cook or bake something you like, for yourself or for someone else.
• Look at photographs – Look at photo albums or pictures of happy times you’ve had.
• Search the web – Search the Internet for a fun topic that captures your interest. (Have you ever wanted to go to Egypt?)
• Take a shower or a bath – This is a good way to relax and relieve tension.

 

[dragonbesas]

I wish it were that simple:
When i loose it...i literally loose it.
I can't think straight and all i can do is remember how good it feels...that's where all my focus is on...i'm fine now though

Thanks everyone! It really helped! And i will always be open for more advice.

 

[Terax]

glad to hear that you are fine now

 

[dragonbesas]

Why is cutting so wrong?

 

[Terax]

Some people just don't like to see others in pain. I am very hypocritical about things like this though.

 

[DarkLegend28]

Why is cutting so wrong?

Why are drugs bad? Why is meaningless sex bad? Why is anything bad? *thinks* I can't say that I know.

 

[Eryn]

Why is cutting so wrong?

I posted something a while back that would fit this, one sec I'll find it.

 

[Eryn]

1 Corinthians 6:19

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

This verse tells us that our body is a Temple--for God. We have no right to harm the Temple of God, instead, we should protect and take care of it.

Genesis 1:27

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

God created us. We belong to him, not to ourselves. He also created us in His image. Imagine if you created something somewhat like yourself and then it went off and hurt/killed itself? I know *I* wouldn't be happy.

Matthew 10: 29-31

29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[d]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

God mentions here and in other places in the Bible that we are worth so much to God. Hurting yourself is like slapping God in the face.

^^ Hope it helps!


P.S. Plus self-harm does hurt those around you who care about you. You owe that to them as much as you do to yourself.

 

[daniel777]

just whenever you feel tempted, get out and go somewhere where you know you won't do it. do you have a friend you can call, or somewhere you can go until you can get your mind off it?

also, why is cutting wrong?

how can pleasure gained by mutilating yourself be a good thing?


OH, and what ^ she said.

God bless you.

 

[Eryn]

Hey, call me sometime if you ever need me, you know I'll always be there for you.

Hearts! <3's.

 

[nbiols]

how can pleasure gained by mutilating yourself be a good thing?

There have been studies that show that some people release dopamine when cutting, so it actually DOES feel good to them. Its a maladaptive form of coping. And on that, cutting can be compared to smoking: its wrong because its not healthy, aside from the religious implications (I believe the worshippers of Baal cut themselves in honor of their god).