Looking For Insight

[BrBob]

He already said he doesn't want to do letters. Besides which, the thought of putting that kind of thing down in something he's not going to get for three weeks is going to have me very nervous for three weeks. An email might be a bit better than a call, though.

No, no..... don't write him about your inability to not confide in him... Confide in him in your letters! That is how you can have both. Communication by letter can be very beautiful! Sit down daily and write him about your thoughts, your desires, your daily stuff. You will get the release you need and still have the man!

By the way email would work if he doesn't want snail mail but snail mail can smell better!

Bob
Spearfish, SD

 

[C12H22O11]

He wrote back. He agreed that it would be fine to postpone the wedding, if need be. I know he's probably stressed out about it, now, but it had to be done.

What I'm going to say is going to be harsh, but so be it. As a wife whose husband is now currently on his 3rd tour to Iraq, I can tell you that if you are not TOTALLY committed to this marriage and relationship, it will not last. I do not expect my husband to call me everyday, not even every week. We went 7 weeks without talking before he called me last week. I asked him to call more than that, hopefully every 2-3 weeks or so, but if he's so exhausted he's not coherent on the phone, he needs rest. Don't get married right when he gets home if you aren't sure. This life is not easy, even though I chose it and would choose it again, it's definitely not always easy.

I'm really amazed at your commitment. I can't imagine how hard that must be.

No, no..... don't write him about your inability to not confide in him... Confide in him in your letters! That is how you can have both. Communication by letter can be very beautiful! Sit down daily and write him about your thoughts, your desires, your daily stuff. You will get the release you need and still have the man!

By the way email would work if he doesn't want snail mail but snail mail can smell better!

Bob
Spearfish, SD

I guess I could try more email, in the meantime. Or rather, less email. If it was shorter maybe he'd actually reply to it. I have a feeling writing more would make it feel even more like I was reciting a monologue to a wall.

 

[Neena750]

that's a tough one. Have you prayed about it? Asked for guidance? Strength?
Only you and God can know for sure if he's "the one". I think if you're having thoughts of "IF you can do it" maybe you should think it over really really seriously and ask if this is something you can live w/ forever. That's how long a marriage will last. If he's a "lifer" in the military..... pray, think, pray. that's the only advice I can give.

This is good advice when my husband and I frist met he was in the US and I was in Canada going to school... I had a parttime job and my studies and he worked crazy hours... so we couldn't talk much sometimes, but when he took the time to send me a postcard with a smiley face on it, or sent me a stuffy during those times were worth more than having a quick phone call... But I fasted and Prayed for 10 days to know if he was the one in which God had hand picked for me... That is when the peace of God comes to comfort you and that is when you know that it doesn't matter how far apart you are God's hand is on that relationship and he is your comforter.... But don't dwell on the fact that it is only 20 min here or there, dwell on that it is a Blessing from God that you have someone that loves you takes that 20min when they are in the middle of a war zone to think of you and instead of doing something selfish they think about you and want to have that precious 20min to show you that...

But if that is not how you feel...Then I guess my advice is to fast and pray that God will answer your question on if he really is the man that God has chosen for you...

Neena