Lonely please help!?

[Mediakira]

I'm sorry, I'm getting this idea, that people might think I'm awkward. I'm I strange to you people. I am I mean, insane, anti-social? I want to be about to communicate with people better. I want to be able to make friends, and have family. But I think there is this wall or something that's not attractive I guess. No one really talks about it.

Yes, I am religious but not strict. I just have a different outlook opinions.

I've been lonely for years. I never really had friends as a child, and my twin sister was my only friend. The friends that does stay around are living in other cities, and have there own family. For me I have nothing to come home to. It's very lonely. Is there anyone good with socializing?

 

[timf]

Yes, I am religious but not strict. I just have a different outlook opinions.

If you express your "differences", you will find a barrier to friendships. Most people today have lots of "friends" because they accept everything.

The more opinions you have, the fewer friends you will have.

Look at Jesus. Of the twelve, three were His friends and they deserted Him.

If you were charming, entertaining, and funny you would have lots of "friends". However these would be the sort that see in you something to amuse themselves. You would be seen as a sort of mobile DVD player.

If you were rich, influential, or important, you would have lots of "friends". However, these would be the sort that see in you something that they can use to advance themselves.

If you seek social contact, you may want to consider doing volunteer work (such as reading to the elderly in nursing homes).

 

[alatir]

Do you spend time anywhere where you have change to meet people? That's the first step to take.

 

[janny108]

I'm thinking of joining a club with people with interests like gardening or something else of interest that is here in town.

 

[Quasicentennial]

Appearances can be deceiving. Some people don't like to be too beautiful because it attracts more than one partner. Some people have a powerful attractive personality but are self-conscious about their facial looks such as the nose being too long, or the eyeball sockets being too large like caves made of bone. Love is skin deep. If your boyfriend wore a blindfold, he couldn't tell who is lovelier when it comes to hearing the female voice that sounds like a peaceful calming musical instrument as the words are pronounced sweetly and slow-like with fast bits in between, when for example, you are reading a poem with a theatrical-like precision attitude - I pray that the supernatural healing of Jesus can bring peace to your mind, feelings and body so that your mind should open like a blossoming flower to receive the light of God's heart so that fear and anger can disappear together with Satan's annoying sin out the window. Victory is certain when Jesus returns in the future to transform our old selves to glorious minds and bodies of Christ as we will live socially as brothers and sisters in God's most massive and most modern place of community: the Kingdom Of God on a new planet Earth.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I live in a house full of people and have many people I see on a regular basis. I am an introverted guy and its easy for me to feel lonely in a room full of people. I have to reach out and express interest in others. After I do that sometimes they reciprocate and ask about me.

So, how are you Mediakira? What interests you in life? What bores you to tears?

Dale Carnegie wrote a book called How to Make Friends and Influence People. It has helped me quite a bit and it may be helpful to you too.

 

[Avniel]

I find that mot of my friends are happy being them and just comfortable in their own skin

 

[Pal Handy]

I'm sorry, I'm getting this idea, that people might think I'm awkward. I'm I strange to you people. I am I mean, insane, anti-social? I want to be about to communicate with people better. I want to be able to make friends, and have family. But I think there is this wall or something that's not attractive I guess. No one really talks about it.

Yes, I am religious but not strict. I just have a different outlook opinions.

I've been lonely for years. I never really had friends as a child, and my twin sister was my only friend. The friends that does stay around are living in other cities, and have there own family. For me I have nothing to come home to. It's very lonely. Is there anyone good with socializing?

Draw close to the Lord and ask Him to be your best friend and develop
a closer walk and relationship with Him.

Ask the Lord to bring people into your life that YOU can be a friend to
instead of them being your friend and support.

Ask God in Jesus name to fill you with His Holy Spirit.

Ask God to lead you to people that will be more than friends but will
love you with the love of God in Christ and will pray for you
and encourage you to go deeper in Christ.

Loneliness can drive us toward God in a deeper relationship as we invite
the Lord in and ask Him to be more than our savior but to be our
closest friend, counselor, Lord and loving Father.

Isaiah 57:15
For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“ I dwell in the high and holy place, With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

From a place of strength in the Lord's love and friendship, you will come to the confidence
that you now lack in yourself and His love will become the strength
you need as you invite Him into your life in greater ways and
ask Him to shape you and equip you so you can befriend others.

Jesus really is the answer to all these problems if you will yield yourself to Him
so that He can transform your life.

Will you stop keeping Him at arms length and allow Him to embrace
you and love you and to show you what a faithful friend He can be?

Acts 4:13
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John,
and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men,
they marveled.
And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

Be with Jesus and He will direct your path in life and He will
bring into your life the kind of relationships He desires to bless you with.

Turn away from being so introspective and put your life into Christ's
hands and let Him shape you and transform you and people will
marvel and say, "she has been with Jesus"

Matthew 16:25
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Lose your old life and the way you think of yourself with all its negativity and
hopelessness and allow Christ to give you His life and you will not be disappointed....

 

[day time]

One thing that I think confuses people in life, is that sometimes they focus on "who am I ?" more than another question that might help a little better ... "what am I" ...

Trying to figure out if something is wrong with you, or what you need to change about yourself to fit in with others more or have them perceive you a certain way ... can be like trying to make a fish breathe out of water, or a bird appreciate the ground when it naturally wants to fly. Sometimes "identity" problems and relating to others gets a new perspective, when you figure out "what" you are and go from there. Because usually there is nothing "wrong" with you. That saying of "you're just fine the way you are" can have an eye-opening spin on it when you realize WHAT you are and that, for your type of person, you fit in just fine

For example ... a snake that is born amongst cats will always be lonely, and not understand why it's awkward, strange, different .... even if it sees other snakes and feels a kinship, if it's never *looked at itself* through the right lenses, it might think it's a cat and is supposed to act like a cat, when it's really a snake. Once it realizes "I'm a snake" .... this helps solve a lot of riddles.

Snakes don't eat what cats eat. They have different environmental needs. They have different skills and abilities. I'm speaking of your emotional, spiritual, physical aspects. In some environments you probably thrive ... in others you whither. In some environments you feel completely out of place, starving, lonely ... in others you feel at home, like you belong, fit in. Snakes shed their skins, cats spit hair balls lol. Different *functions* and ways they go about surviving and living.

What's special about a snake growing up thinking and living as a cat ... is that once it realizes it's a snake, it now understands two worlds. The cat world, and the snake world. It's not *limited* to just one or the other if it doesn't want to be ;-) There is no reason to *fear* one or the other ... but you can begin to appreciate the differences between them, whilst still being *yourself* and enjoying them for what they are. Perhaps even loving them in the special ways that only you will be able to, instead of believing that certain labels might apply to you which have no reason to apply to you after all

Finding out "what" doesn't have to effect the "who" lol ..... but it can help you to find the environment where you flourish and are the healthiest in naturally .... in other words, "home".

"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is awkward, and stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

 

[cedward1]

I have struggled with social anxiety for many years. So I have an idea of how you feel. I'm getting over mine to some extent, thanks to unavoidable job situations including one where I had to do regular public speaking. The only thing I haven't been able to get over is forming close relationships. I can now talk to a group of 100 strangers with no notes, but I'm still terrified when it comes to asking a girl to have dinner with me (makes me shiver to think about it).

But I have found exposure is the best medicine either way.

 

[forGod1]

When you follow the bible strictly.. you will be amazed by what Jesus will accomplish within your life.

 

[TruthSeeker2012]

Loneliness is not the problem but our interpretation about it.

I have been lonely for over 10 years, very isolated and live alone. But I learned to manage it and deal with it and accept it and Jesus must have felt alone too and I know Jesus returns soon to take us to heaven where we never be lonely.

God bless.

 

[lemon-aid stand]

I'm sorry, I'm getting this idea, that people might think I'm awkward. I'm I strange to you people. I am I mean, insane, anti-social? I want to be about to communicate with people better. I want to be able to make friends, and have family. But I think there is this wall or something that's not attractive I guess. No one really talks about it.

Yes, I am religious but not strict. I just have a different outlook opinions.

I've been lonely for years. I never really had friends as a child, and my twin sister was my only friend. The friends that does stay around are living in other cities, and have there own family. For me I have nothing to come home to. It's very lonely. Is there anyone good with socializing?[


the man that trims himself to suit evryone else soon whittles himself away... charles schwab...
i think that applies more often than we care to admit.. kira, don`t ever change to suit others.. even at the sometimes unbarable cost of feeling lonely.. the cost is just to great.. besides, you are never alone.. as a member of the body of Christ. you have the Lord and all of the holy angels, and all of the saints.. oh ya, and you have me.. and i do love you, kira.. you don`t have to do anything to win my love.. i give it to you freely and without measure.. just so you know. being different and lonely isn`t a strike against you.. just look at the ugly duckling.. it turned out to be a beautiful white swan.. i too, am a loner.. i sometimes ask the Lord what He has planned.. He assures me that His plan is better than mine.. i am going to trust Him on this one.. after all He bought me at an immeasurable price.. His life.. its the least i can do to trust Him with mine.. please, get around other christians.. if not church, then try a bible study... do whatever it takes to get around other christians.. people say that we are to go to church.. thats wrong.. we are the church, the moment we are saved.. what the bible is really saying is get around other like minded christian soldiers and encourage and edify one another .. lifting each other up in the Lord and sharing our burdens.. well sister, you have a burden.. so i am going to offer myself out to you as a pen pal and friend.. my email is dalecasselman at live.com.. it wouldn`t allow me to put the little at sign.. if you choose to email me. please mention that you are kira from christian forum. as i get loads of spam.. another sign of the times.. when i was a lad i could only wish for the kind of spam we have today.. as it is i am burdened by it.. just so you know kira.. your thread on the forum pricked my heart.. in Christ Jesus.... dale..

 

[Mediakira]

One thing that I think confuses people in life, is that sometimes they focus on "who am I ?" more than another question that might help a little better ... "what am I" ...

Trying to figure out if something is wrong with you, or what you need to change about yourself to fit in with others more or have them perceive you a certain way ... can be like trying to make a fish breathe out of water, or a bird appreciate the ground when it naturally wants to fly. Sometimes "identity" problems and relating to others gets a new perspective, when you figure out "what" you are and go from there. Because usually there is nothing "wrong" with you. That saying of "you're just fine the way you are" can have an eye-opening spin on it when you realize WHAT you are and that, for your type of person, you fit in just fine

For example ... a snake that is born amongst cats will always be lonely, and not understand why it's awkward, strange, different .... even if it sees other snakes and feels a kinship, if it's never *looked at itself* through the right lenses, it might think it's a cat and is supposed to act like a cat, when it's really a snake. Once it realizes "I'm a snake" .... this helps solve a lot of riddles.

Snakes don't eat what cats eat. They have different environmental needs. They have different skills and abilities. I'm speaking of your emotional, spiritual, physical aspects. In some environments you probably thrive ... in others you whither. In some environments you feel completely out of place, starving, lonely ... in others you feel at home, like you belong, fit in. Snakes shed their skins, cats spit hair balls lol. Different *functions* and ways they go about surviving and living.

What's special about a snake growing up thinking and living as a cat ... is that once it realizes it's a snake, it now understands two worlds. The cat world, and the snake world. It's not *limited* to just one or the other if it doesn't want to be ;-) There is no reason to *fear* one or the other ... but you can begin to appreciate the differences between them, whilst still being *yourself* and enjoying them for what they are. Perhaps even loving them in the special ways that only you will be able to, instead of believing that certain labels might apply to you which have no reason to apply to you after all

Finding out "what" doesn't have to effect the "who" lol ..... but it can help you to find the environment where you flourish and are the healthiest in naturally .... in other words, "home".

"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is awkward, and stupid.” ~Albert Einstein

The snake would sound weird if it tries to meow. I wonder what sound would it try to make. lol

I haven't found that type of home. I can't seem to fit in anywhere. I have the ability to shine bright. But I have learned to back down, and not live it. I know where I want to go. But I'm so messed up by abuse as a child. I don't know how to manage things properly. I'm the type of person who is like this inside.

I have many gifts, and I want to bring them out. But I don't have the proper tools to do so. I have no guidance, sure I can rely on God for help. But I also like to have people to talk to too. When I was a child, my father was an alcoholic. He would get drunk many times a thru month, and bad mouth everyone in the family. He almost died 3 times by alcohol poisoning. My mother has panic attack from it. All three of us kids has the issue of fits of rage because of my father's bad attitude. As, I was in school during that time. All the kids in school would not be friendly with me. The only time they were nice. If it was my birthday. So, I constantly think everyone is thinking rude things about me. Even if it's not true. Because I see this cycle of people everywhere.

I got use to being myself for all things. I worked on how to get to know this being that I am. Because I had that much free time to do so. lol I have a personality of a good leader. But I don't have the things to fill it in to take the role. It's annoying! I feel like a tree with 100 woodpeckers on me. I know who I am from the inside. It's trying to bring her out into the living is the problem. I have holes like a swiss cheese. I'm unable to get her out because of that.

 

[Mediakira]

I'm sorry, I'm getting this idea, that people might think I'm awkward. I'm I strange to you people. I am I mean, insane, anti-social? I want to be about to communicate with people better. I want to be able to make friends, and have family. But I think there is this wall or something that's not attractive I guess. No one really talks about it.

Yes, I am religious but not strict. I just have a different outlook opinions.

I've been lonely for years. I never really had friends as a child, and my twin sister was my only friend. The friends that does stay around are living in other cities, and have there own family. For me I have nothing to come home to. It's very lonely. Is there anyone good with socializing?[


the man that trims himself to suit evryone else soon whittles himself away... charles schwab...
i think that applies more often than we care to admit.. kira, don`t ever change to suit others.. even at the sometimes unbarable cost of feeling lonely.. the cost is just to great.. besides, you are never alone.. as a member of the body of Christ. you have the Lord and all of the holy angels, and all of the saints.. oh ya, and you have me.. and i do love you, kira.. you don`t have to do anything to win my love.. i give it to you freely and without measure.. just so you know. being different and lonely isn`t a strike against you.. just look at the ugly duckling.. it turned out to be a beautiful white swan.. i too, am a loner.. i sometimes ask the Lord what He has planned.. He assures me that His plan is better than mine.. i am going to trust Him on this one.. after all He bought me at an immeasurable price.. His life.. its the least i can do to trust Him with mine.. please, get around other christians.. if not church, then try a bible study... do whatever it takes to get around other christians.. people say that we are to go to church.. thats wrong.. we are the church, the moment we are saved.. what the bible is really saying is get around other like minded christian soldiers and encourage and edify one another .. lifting each other up in the Lord and sharing our burdens.. well sister, you have a burden.. so i am going to offer myself out to you as a pen pal and friend.. my email is dalecasselman at live.com.. it wouldn`t allow me to put the little at sign.. if you choose to email me. please mention that you are kira from christian forum. as i get loads of spam.. another sign of the times.. when i was a lad i could only wish for the kind of spam we have today.. as it is i am burdened by it.. just so you know kira.. your thread on the forum pricked my heart.. in Christ Jesus.... dale..

Thanks, I'll try to contact you when I have more time on my hands. My job is keeping me busy. I'll be more busy when I get my college classes back up again.

 

[Mediakira]

I live in a house full of people and have many people I see on a regular basis. I am an introverted guy and its easy for me to feel lonely in a room full of people. I have to reach out and express interest in others. After I do that sometimes they reciprocate and ask about me.

So, how are you Mediakira? What interests you in life? What bores you to tears?

Dale Carnegie wrote a book called How to Make Friends and Influence People. It has helped me quite a bit and it may be helpful to you too.

Very lonely right now. It feels like I don't exist to people these days. At work, they don't get interested in me as much. I'm trying to be me as much as possible. But my dominating personality drives them away. Even without trying. It's funny, I'm also an introvert. I always like working by myself. I don't mind socializing either. I just can't seem to grasp the ideal of it yet. To make friends that really stay around.

I'm interested in art, I gotten into anime, games, and movies. Ever since as a child is my passion. I use to share it a lot with my sister. But I don't get to see her as much as I use to. So, I'm very lonely.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Very lonely right now. It feels like I don't exist to people these days. At work, they don't get interested in me as much. I'm trying to be me as much as possible. But my dominating personality drives them away. Even without trying. It's funny, I'm also an introvert. I always like working by myself. I don't mind socializing either. I just can't seem to grasp the ideal of it yet. To make friends that really stay around.

I'm interested in art, I gotten into anime, games, and movies. Ever since as a child is my passion. I use to share it a lot with my sister. But I don't get to see her as much as I use to. So, I'm very lonely.

Have you called your sister and talked to her lately? Mine lives far away and I call her when I feel sad or discouraged. She is extroverted and always makes me feel better when I talk to her. I've been told my personality is something people can only take in small doses at a time.

 

[day time]

The snake would sound weird if it tries to meow. I wonder what sound would it try to make. lol

It would, wouldn't it ? lol

I suppose it might actually be cute if a snake started to purr lol :~)

I haven't found that type of home. I can't seem to fit in anywhere. I have the ability to shine bright. But I have learned to back down, and not live it. I know where I want to go. But I'm so messed up by abuse as a child. I don't know how to manage things properly. I'm the type of person who is like this inside.

I have many gifts, and I want to bring them out. But I don't have the proper tools to do so. I have no guidance, sure I can rely on God for help. But I also like to have people to talk to too. When I was a child, my father was an alcoholic. He would get drunk many times a thru month, and bad mouth everyone in the family. He almost died 3 times by alcohol poisoning. My mother has panic attack from it. All three of us kids has the issue of fits of rage because of my father's bad attitude. As, I was in school during that time. All the kids in school would not be friendly with me. The only time they were nice. If it was my birthday. So, I constantly think everyone is thinking rude things about me. Even if it's not true. Because I see this cycle of people everywhere.

I got use to being myself for all things. I worked on how to get to know this being that I am. Because I had that much free time to do so. lol I have a personality of a good leader. But I don't have the things to fill it in to take the role. It's annoying! I feel like a tree with 100 woodpeckers on me. I know who I am from the inside. It's trying to bring her out into the living is the problem. I have holes like a swiss cheese. I'm unable to get her out because of that.

Hmm ..... I like your analogies. I love that language ... the language of analogies. I find it's most often used to speak about things in a way that brings a person into your hidden world if they wish to enter.

Can I tell what I see in what you are saying ? It's as though you are describing a person inside your core ... within yourself. And although you might know a lot about that person, you have had a hard time experiencing what it's like to be one with that person ... because that person cannot get out. Thus, the geode. The swiss cheese. The woodpeckers on the outside of the tree ...

The core of a person is a sacred type of place. It's a type of home. I believe, you could say, this is where the Spirit of God can dwell within you, and radiate out.

But I don't think maybe you've seen your inner self, on the outside. As you say ... no one has guided you, taught you, showed you. You shine brightly, but cannot get that light out. When you see yourself straight on, with no barriers like you have ... then you'll live in a new way I think from what you are used to. You'll find *at least* one home that you can enjoy: yourself.

What I think is barricading your core, and whatever is in there .... is your past. You keep bringing it up, looking to it ...

It's like your interior, is being surrounded by *ghosts* .... events from the past which remain in the present, experiences and others who haunt you.

I think you would need help to learn how to drive those ghosts away ... to clear a path. That can be liberating, but also terrifying ... freeing yourself to experience love both within, and without, regardless of the circumstances ... but, you lose part of your comfort zone in the process. But it's a comfort zone that needs to be overhauled, if you want free from those ghosts.

At least in my experience.

Then, you can see to the center ... and see what's really there. Believe it or not, that is what terrifies people the most I find ... seeing what's actually in their core that is wanting to get out.

~ ~ ~

 

[evamore]

Mediakira, I can totally relate to you. Growing up I had no friends at school because of a lanuage barrier and as I result I have grown up feeling socially awkward. I am well liked by people at work, and at church but there seems to be a barrier between me and everyone else.

What has changed for me is I joined a ministry team at church that I am passionate about. In the team there are people that I see on a weekly basis, and as the years goes by I've developed deep friendship. Even though we have awkward moments our friendship is more than relating but is like an extended family.

Another good tip is look for people in the fringes at a party or in a crowd of people. There is always a good 5% of people feeling the same way as you do, wanting a little bit of company in a crowd of many people.

 

[Mediakira]

I'll think about what you guys have said. More like meditate on it. Thanks for the ideas. I might come back for more talk later. lol