Lonely please help!?

[seeingeyes]

Is there anyone good with socializing?

I have been known to socialize a bit. hehehe

I have certainly had a lot of moments of shyness in my life, but I tend to lean more towards "social butterfly" than "socially awkward penguin", so I'll put in my two cents if it helps.

It feels like I don't exist to people these days. At work, they don't get interested in me as much.

If people don't seek you out, that means that they are not interested in you, right? Right. It makes sense.

But that also means that that you are not interested in the people you are not seeking out. Right? And who wants to hang out with people who have no interest in them?

So the answer to this would be to start showing an interest in those people that you want to take an interest in you.

Put another way: In my experience, if you listen, really actively listen, to what someone has to say, they will happily tell you everything. And once they have told their whole life story to you, they will feel as though you are a friend because, after all, they just told their whole life story to you.

But this "listening" business is really tough, and takes a lot of practice.

I'm trying to be me as much as possible. But my dominating personality drives them away.

This can be a clue to yourself that you are not listening well. I also have a strong personality - I am not charming, or a knock-out, I'm terrible at small talk, I ask controversial questions just for fun, and I'm terrible at toeing the "party line"...heck, I can't even find the "party line" most of the time.

However, whoever I am talking to at the moment knows that I love them (even disagreeable strangers!). They know that I'm listening, and that I actually care about who they are and what they have to say. I have found 1 Pet 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" to be very, very true.


Now, does this mean that everyone you listen closely to will become your best friend? No, of course not...we all "click" with different people. But if you make it a practice to listen closely you will be amazed by what you will learn about people. You will be amazed by how much your heart opens up. And someday soon, you will meet someone and you will hear that "click" and you will have a friend for life. All it takes is one.