Loneliness

[PeculiarTreasure]

How do you deal with loneliness? Not really from not having a SO (although I've been there) but also from not having any/many friends. It's just something I've been dealing with for awhile.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I just got done with few bouts with Loneliness. If I was to sum it up, the feeling of self pitty and discontentment that chains you down. Have to be thankful for all small blessings you have, and realize only limitations in life are ones you place on yourself.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I had to realize that people aren't going to knock on my door and say "can i be your friend?". I have to go out to places what share same intrest and take a risk. Open myself to other people and risk rejection for the chance of reaping new friendships.

I found that internet been kind of a trap, instant gradification if you will. Easy find websites that people share same intrest, but no substitue for real life interaction. Go to places and experience new things, then when get into conversation can have something to talk about. Stop spending money on bigger toys and spend it on new experiences.

Just what I concluded so far, hope it helps you.

 

[Laurie919]

I spend entirely too much time on here.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I just got done with few bouts with Loneliness. If I was to sum it up, the feeling of self pitty and discontentment that chains you down. Have to be thankful for all small blessings you have, and realize only limitations in life are ones you place on yourself.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I had to realize that people aren't going to knock on my door and say "can i be your friend?". I have to go out to places what share same intrest and take a risk. Open myself to other people and risk rejection for the chance of reaping new friendships.

I found that internet been kind of a trap, instant gradification if you will. Easy find websites that people share same intrest, but no substitue for real life interaction. Go to places and experience new things, then when get into conversation can have something to talk about. Stop spending money on bigger toys and spend it on new experiences.

Just what I concluded so far, hope it helps you.

That's so very true. Everything you said is what I'm doing or NOT doing should I say. I was just writing on my LJ about how empty internet relationships can be. I'm so guilty of not getting out there and meeting people. I'm pretty shy so It's so hard for me to talk to people but I'm trying to get better. It's hard though. Thanks for sharing. God Bless!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

That's so very true. Everything you said is what I'm doing or NOT doing should I say. I was just writing on my LJ about how empty internet relationships can be. I'm so guilty of not getting out there and meeting people. I'm pretty shy so It's so hard for me to talk to people but I'm trying to get better. It's hard though. Thanks for sharing. God Bless!

I can be to amazingly. We will get there thou, one hello at a time. =)

 

[servantsheart4God]

I really feel you guys. I don't go out and "hang" with others. I'm not a hermit, but I very homebound. I'd rather stay at home than anything. But anyway, besides the point!

I live alone and it doesn't get lonely for me, but one night a week of fellowshipping with other believers is what I yearn for. I have friends and those that I talk to and conversate with at church, but outside - it's rare to go and do stuff with them.

There's actually two different types of loneliness for me: 1) when I don't have anyone to talk to or to make me laugh and 2) that loneliness for a mate, that closenes, that bond and close companionship with him, someone to greet when he gets home, someone to cook for and "make me lauph", someone that I can encourage and would lift me up in his prayers...

Just be reassured that the Lord knows our hearts desire's and he knows what's best for us. I hate it too, but maybe He just wants us to grow "closer" to Him first and see him as our First and True "friend"...

 

[GoodNewsJim]

God rocks as a friend. It's just God isn't physical to hug or really get a good conversation going. So that's where the loneliness kicks in.

Luckily I have friends and family I can hang out with. I play lots of video games too, they keep me fairly entertained.

Hmm. If I lived in the city, I'd go for walks on the sidewalk all cool like. The trick to walking cool is to strut when no one is nearby, and when people get close, walk like a sane person. Yah walking all cool is something fun to do.

Being stuck in the house because it's too hot or cold isn't fun. Then I'm confined to computer which isn't as bad anymore now that they invented the internet. I remember when I was stuck playing Atari2600 games just so I could refine my skills at playing games. I also remember trying to program my own game because the games out there had flaws which meant you can't play them forever. Now they have MMORPGS, but they're not entirely well done except for graphics!

I'm rambling, but I like to talk when I'm lonely too. I really should be hanging out on secular sites though because thats where you can bring people to Christ. Everyone here knows God exists, Jesus is Lord. Instead of helping someone, I may accidentally say something to lose their path(not likely, but a fear nonetheless).

Ahhhh, oh well. Lonliness sucks, but being healthy rocks. You gotta figure that like 40,000 kids die to starvation and disease each day, being alive is a blessing in itself! And one goal a lonely person could have is to get over their loneliness and work the best job they can so they can help needy people. It's noble to get over your own sadness and make a difference, at least even if you're just plotting how to.

 

[Luther073082]

I can honestly say I havn't been lonely from not having friends around to talk to for several years now.

I do get lonely though because I don't have a mate.

 

[servantsheart4God]

God rocks as a friend. It's just God isn't physical to hug or really get a good conversation going. So that's where the loneliness kicks in.

Luckily I have friends and family I can hang out with. I play lots of video games too, they keep me fairly entertained.

Hmm. If I lived in the city, I'd go for walks on the sidewalk all cool like. The trick to walking cool is to strut when no one is nearby, and when people get close, walk like a sane person. Yah walking all cool is something fun to do.

Being stuck in the house because it's too hot or cold isn't fun. Then I'm confined to computer which isn't as bad anymore now that they invented the internet. I remember when I was stuck playing Atari2600 games just so I could refine my skills at playing games. I also remember trying to program my own game because the games out there had flaws which meant you can't play them forever. Now they have MMORPGS, but they're not entirely well done except for graphics!

I'm rambling, but I like to talk when I'm lonely too. I really should be hanging out on secular sites though because thats where you can bring people to Christ. Everyone here knows God exists, Jesus is Lord. Instead of helping someone, I may accidentally say something to lose their path(not likely, but a fear nonetheless).

Ahhhh, oh well. Lonliness sucks, but being healthy rocks. You gotta figure that like 40,000 kids die to starvation and disease each day, being alive is a blessing in itself! And one goal a lonely person could have is to get over their loneliness and work the best job they can so they can help needy people. It's noble to get over your own sadness and make a difference, at least even if you're just plotting how to.

LOL . Good times.

But seriously...

Yeah I do the family thing, too since we're all really close, but there's the inevitable reality of that darn lonelinesses. When I get home, there's silence...maybe you'll hear a cricket... Good point though: one could get more involved community-wise to build a bigger friends-circle. Which is what I'm planning to do. Yeah and the being healthy-thing is good too . Good observation .

 

[Gardener101]

http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/2007/mind0425.html

 

[AlexeiKaramazov]

I kind of...don't...deal with it. Or at least not very well. Normally I have lots of activities I can engage myself in (music, drawing, movies, games) and I chat with people on the internet but I still find myself with a deep longing for physical companionship. Part of it is the longing for a wife but I suspect it wouldn't be nearly so bad if I simply had more friends, or if I lived with a roommate.

Companionship provides something unique for humans, whether it's from the opposite sex or not. But I don't really know how to make more solid friendships in the real world. I have a couple of good friends who live in town that I still do stuff all the time with but I get to see them at most once a week. The rest of the time, I'm alone every night. I have other people that I attend Bible study with or do other things with who are friends, but only two people that I can hang out with outside a specific context (Bible study, work, etc.).

 

[mina]

I think loneliness is a part of life. and that everyone deals with it. I do. I don't have many friends anymore, and i certianly don't have a mate right now. When i get lonely i go run and it makes me feel better.

 

[vjaine]

Loneliness is difficult. I've been dealing with it lately by just recognizing that friends/family come and go into my life, like the ebb and flow of the tides. I've had times of feast and famine with people - so loneliness is just a season and I won't feel like this forever.

When the loneliness hits, I just remind myself that is temporary, everyone, married or not, feels lonely at times, and I try to distract myself. Loneliness is a good excuse to pray, too!

 

[puffca]

I see loneliness as God's way of urging us to get married.

 

[uiucollegeguy]

Everyone has some issues with loneliness, some worse than others. I have definitely felt extremely lonely before. I think praying about it is definitely a good idea. I'm sort of worried myself because i'm young and I alredy don't have many friends. Praying and riding my bike help me currently.

Hope you are able to find some peace with it.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I see loneliness as God's way of urging us to get married.

That was what I thought at first, because of what is said in Genesis. My own experiences the more lonely I got, the more desparate I felt to go seek out a woman. Which means if it got worse, I might see a woman out in ungodly means.

I am reading Jeremiah, lone voice of God against Israelites who sinned against God. He was on the right side of the fence and doing God's will. Yet he was very much on his own. Well he could at any time join in with the Israelites so didn't feel lonely, but it been cost of his soul.

I just think dwelling on loneliness and letting it drag me down is slavery. Which sounds no different than rest of tools used by the sinful nature. I mean I have many things to look forward to and lot small blessings in my life. Yet I become discontent with certain areas in my life and I focus on the negitive. Doesn't sound like something God want me be stuck on. Doesn't sound the the freedom God payed his blood with to give us.

"I'm just saying. I'm just a thinker." Glenn Beck

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Wow! Thanks for all the replys everyone! I only have one close friend and I barely get to see her at all. She'll be working at a camp this summer so we won't get to see each other. I've recently started volunteering at my church about once a week and that's helped. Maybe I need to go more often?

I've been praying that God will send some friends my way. So hopefully that prayer will be answered sooner than not.

 

[simmeringabsolute]

Reading about others' loneliness makes me lonely. I guess this thread pretty much displays this forum is no substitute for real life interaction. All this "fellowship" and the participants are still lonely... Sort of sad...

My nature is like De Niro's character on Heat -- "I'm alone, but I'm not lonely." I am actually a pretty self-centered person. I had a crush on a woman about a year ago and that sort of pulled me outward, allowing me to feel lonely, but after that fell through I am moving inward, towards myself again. Being in groups is no help. It only serves to demonstrate that while I might not be physically alone, I am alone in this world by the kind of person I am. That's the kind of loneliness that really hurts.

 

[silentpoet]

I find cleaning guns helps.

Seriously though I have never had or needed much in the way of friendship. I am a real introvert. But I have always, even as a little child, had this longing for love. As far back as I can remember it has always been a part of me. And as of yet there is no answer. Faith is keeping on when you don't feel like it. Or at least that is an important element of faith. I think maybe that is how I deal with loneliness, I feel the intense pain and just do my best to keep going on. I know it is not really a coping strategy, but it is the best answer I can give you.

About the guns, cosmoline is not much fun to deal with. And break cleaner works well, but smells up the apartment.

 

[SingleDadWV]

Now that my kids are getting older and spending more time out of the home, I have been dealing with loneliness as well. That's one reason I was looking and found this site.

One key for me has been to really get involved at my church. I pretty much show up every time the doors are open. There are no singles and few people my age, but it keeps me occupied. The other thing that I have been trying to do is to see my loneliness as a sign that God is calling me into a closer relationship with Him. I find a quiet place and ask him to fill those lonely places with His love. It really works, I've never felt so close to Him in all my life.