Loneliness

[Crucifix]

You know C, this happens to be the first time where I actually wanted to hear the truth. For some "strange" reason, this has somehow brought a form of peace to my mind and heart, whereas before I wouldn't be so inept to face what I've found to be a very sensitive subject for me.

I actually enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for your willingness to offer sound words. I am in agreement with you completely. I know when I let "it" go, God will do what He needs.

Thanks again for ushering in the peace I have been searching for.

May the Lord continue to bless you with His words of truth and peace.

Servant, God uses different people to be His messengers. What I believe has just happened is that you have allowed your heart to be open and to allow God to come in and do all the work the only He can do. I just happened to be the one whom the Holy Spirit chose. It was providential. Please look at your strengths and develop them, gradually. Then you will be more of what God wants you to be and be more "yourself, fully alive."

In a way, I'm looking for the same thing, although to do so here would be inappropriate. I said this to encourage you and me, as St. Paul tells us to "...encourage one another...". Ultimately whatever happens to me is God's Will, not mine. When you give something away with no expectations in return, you'll receive much more than you ever anticipated.

Humbly stated, of late, I've been trying to spend more time with the Alone, be it in church or at home with my prayer time.

Please thank God for allowing me to be the vessel to gently make you want to "hear the truth".

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Singing: your petitions will be kept in my prayers. Also, did you go to the Prayer Requests thread and ask for prayers of guidance and discernment? You'll get the added power from all of the members who post to intercede for you spiritually.

Thanks for your prayers! No, I haven't posted there but I will.

 

[Sindyan]

I love how we have become encouraging again, and not tearing each other apart again on this part. It's soo much more peaceful.

 

[servantsheart4God]

I second that. We don't need to hear discouraging or negative words, instead, we need to be the hands and feet of Jesus to be able to lift those in need and help carry their burdens.

 

[AlohaAquamarine]

This is such a huge subject for Christian singles isn't it? I know that I've had huge times in my life where the lonliness has taken over and effected not only my outlook but also my relationship with God. To wallow in it ( in my opinion ) is sin, but to feel periods of lonliness is not.

I personally haven't been in a serious relationship for a number of years and recently have been watching almost all of my friends get married and have babies, even some almost 10 years younger than me. There are those days/nights where the feeling of lonliness has me sobbing, but it always opens up a communication with God and it doens't last as long has it has in the past.

I've realised as a single I need to be proactive in avoiding long stretches at home by myself and when I am in desperate need for touch I go hang out with my best friends kids and get all the hugs and kisses and I love you's to make my empty feeling heart full again. I start to plan trips away and make sure I keep in contact with my married friends and selfishly demand that they not leave me out of things and only do couple stuff !

I am praying still that God will have me in a relationship again soon but for the most part I am content with where He has me and am grateful for the freedom to go to the gym at odd hours or see movies that I want to see on a Sunday afternoon or sleep in till lunchtime and then just read a book for hours on end !

It's encouraging to know that I am not the only one feeling this !

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

This is such a huge subject for Christian singles isn't it? I know that I've had huge times in my life where the lonliness has taken over and effected not only my outlook but also my relationship with God. To wallow in it ( in my opinion ) is sin, but to feel periods of lonliness is not.

I personally haven't been in a serious relationship for a number of years and recently have been watching almost all of my friends get married and have babies, even some almost 10 years younger than me. There are those days/nights where the feeling of lonliness has me sobbing, but it always opens up a communication with God and it doens't last as long has it has in the past.

I've realised as a single I need to be proactive in avoiding long stretches at home by myself and when I am in desperate need for touch I go hang out with my best friends kids and get all the hugs and kisses and I love you's to make my empty feeling heart full again. I start to plan trips away and make sure I keep in contact with my married friends and selfishly demand that they not leave me out of things and only do couple stuff !

I am praying still that God will have me in a relationship again soon but for the most part I am content with where He has me and am grateful for the freedom to go to the gym at odd hours or see movies that I want to see on a Sunday afternoon or sleep in till lunchtime and then just read a book for hours on end !

It's encouraging to know that I am not the only one feeling this !

Thanks for sharing your story! I know how you feel. I've never been in a relationship before and it sometimes just hurts me that I haven't. I'm praying for contentment in this area. Plus the fact that I don't have many friends makes things worse. I've gotten LOTS of good advice from people on this thread so feel free to read through them if you haven't already. God bless you!

I feel such a connection to the people on this thread. It almost feels "family like".

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I think yesterday was one of the worst days I've experienced in awhile. I had a breakdown and I think a anxiety attack. I've never had one and it scared me very much. I feel better today though which I praise God for.

 

[Crucifix]

Aloha, neither have I. I'll say this in truth: when I'm starting to build a r'ship with someone, I gather that I say too much OR say something, which, while genuine in its intent from me AND not meant to hurt someone, apparently seems to do so. Before I forget, welcome to the site!

I mentioned that I also have a cognitive disorder which causes me to not always recognize what I should; yet there has never been any intentional malice in what I've stated. That may be a cause of my problems - the way in which what I post is read and interpreted. If one were to hear what I posted in a telephone conversation, it would come across in a completely different tone.

Singing, have you ever heard of Visual Imagery Relaxation Therapy? Some people whom I know deal with anxiety and other related disorders and when the therapist gives them a session in this, there seems to be success for them. Please know that this MAY NOT work for everyone, but when you go away, please ask for some sessions (if they're not going to be given) and see if this will help you. I'm no professional; I'm simply passing on information which I hope will be of benefit to you.

 

[CoachR64]

When I lived in Florida, I never got lonely.... it never failed that at 11pm during the summer, I would get a phone call from some of my athletes asking me to open the gym and come play ball with them. I don't think I ever had time to get lonely!

Coach

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Singing, have you ever heard of Visual Imagery Relaxation Therapy? Some people whom I know deal with anxiety and other related disorders and when the therapist gives them a session in this, there seems to be success for them. Please know that this MAY NOT work for everyone, but when you go away, please ask for some sessions (if they're not going to be given) and see if this will help you. I'm no professional; I'm simply passing on information which I hope will be of benefit to you.

Nope, I've heard of that. Sounds interesting though.




We had to take my sister to the ER early this morning because everytime she stood up she felt like she was gonna pass out. She's home doing better. Just please pray for her that nothing else will happen. Thanks ya'll. We're just all exhausted right now. We've been up since 2 am. Although we got home around 5:30 and I slept till 11:00. I'm just tired. I praise God though that she's okay and that I didn't have another attack.

 

[BeefSupreme]

When I lived in Florida, I never got lonely.... it never failed that at 11pm during the summer, I would get a phone call from some of my athletes asking me to open the gym and come play ball with them. I don't think I ever had time to get lonely!

Coach

That's really cool! I wish I had a life like that. I supopose it's no one's fault but my own that I don't, though. I used to play basketball in a league-type thing when I was 18. My dad had joined it, and was pretty good. He talked me into it, and I did it for awhile. I was never as good as him.
But anyway... I get lonely all the time. And I find myself in front of this computer more and more.... I think a few years ago I went for a 30 hour marathon one time online. That's really ridiculous... I feel my life is slipping by me, right outside my door, but I'm too hooked to this life now to be able to go out there and start again.... Anyone else feel that? I used to have bunches of friends.. I did all kinds of things (seriously, name it, and I probably did it) Now I may as well be on opium or something, living in a cave. So yeah, loneliness... I understand that well.

 

[silentpoet]

You can change your life.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

But anyway... I get lonely all the time. And I find myself in front of this computer more and more.... I think a few years ago I went for a 30 hour marathon one time online. That's really ridiculous... I feel my life is slipping by me, right outside my door, but I'm too hooked to this life now to be able to go out there and start again.... Anyone else feel that? I used to have bunches of friends.. I did all kinds of things (seriously, name it, and I probably did it) Now I may as well be on opium or something, living in a cave. So yeah, loneliness... I understand that well.

I've have felt this way many times. Many years actually. But like silent poet said you can change all that! (I'm talking to myself here too)

 

[silentpoet]

I never said changing was easy, but it can be done. The hardest part is to keep at it when you are not seeing any tangible results. I mean I have worked hard on changing myself for years now, with surges of effort now and then, but I am still single. I know I am changing for the better I suppose. But it doesn't change the outcome of me being single. That wears very much on my relationship with God. But some days I am better than others.

 

[yourinnervoice]

Father - I pray that when each one of us feels lonely, we can feel YOUR hand, YOUR Presence, YOUR Holy Spirit accompany us!

I pray that we can be sensitive enough to be assured that You are with us, for YOUR word says it is so!

I pray that our minds be cleared of any negativity the enemy tries to place there! I pray for Spiritual assertiveness, to be able to rebuke those negative spirits out of our minds and out of our lives!

Thank you for YOUR Peace, YOUR Joy, YOUR comforter!!! THANK YOU FATHER!!!!!

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I never said changing was easy, but it can be done. The hardest part is to keep at it when you are not seeing any tangible results. I mean I have worked hard on changing myself for years now, with surges of effort now and then, but I am still single. I know I am changing for the better I suppose. But it doesn't change the outcome of me being single. That wears very much on my relationship with God. But some days I am better than others.

You're right it's not easy. Hopefully if I get into this program I'll make some drastic changes in my life for the better and be able to move on and live a full, happy life. Which is my biggest desire right now. I know I can't even think about marriage until I help myself over come what has been holding me back pretty much all my life. I've been praying for you and will continue to do so. God bless you.

Father - I pray that when each one of us feels lonely, we can feel YOUR hand, YOUR Presence, YOUR Holy Spirit accompany us!

I pray that we can be sensitive enough to be assured that You are with us, for YOUR word says it is so!

I pray that our minds be cleared of any negativity the enemy tries to place there! I pray for Spiritual assertiveness, to be able to rebuke those negative spirits out of our minds and out of our lives!

Thank you for YOUR Peace, YOUR Joy, YOUR comforter!!! THANK YOU FATHER!!!!!

Thanks for your beautiful prayer. God bless.

 

[Keri]

You can change your life.

I'm been telling someone that for almost 2 years now.

 

[silentpoet]

You're right it's not easy. Hopefully if I get into this program I'll make some drastic changes in my life for the better and be able to move on and live a full, happy life. Which is my biggest desire right now. I know I can't even think about marriage until I help myself over come what has been holding me back pretty much all my life. I've been praying for you and will continue to do so. God bless you.

Thank you for the prayers.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

That's really cool! I wish I had a life like that. I supopose it's no one's fault but my own that I don't, though. I used to play basketball in a league-type thing when I was 18. My dad had joined it, and was pretty good. He talked me into it, and I did it for awhile. I was never as good as him.
But anyway... I get lonely all the time. And I find myself in front of this computer more and more.... I think a few years ago I went for a 30 hour marathon one time online. That's really ridiculous... I feel my life is slipping by me, right outside my door, but I'm too hooked to this life now to be able to go out there and start again.... Anyone else feel that? I used to have bunches of friends.. I did all kinds of things (seriously, name it, and I probably did it) Now I may as well be on opium or something, living in a cave. So yeah, loneliness... I understand that well.

Cut your internet and explore new intrests with money you be saving.

lol what I had to do.

 

[Sindyan]

Cut your internet and explore new intrests with money you be saving.

lol what I had to do.

I agree with Aworkinprogress

The internet is great, and you can build some amazing friendships through it. It can help people who are shy to have some more connection with man kind.

But...still people need to have connection with people in face to face encourages. It is a different experience.

Just some questions I thought of.

Are we to be monks and hermits who spend 12 days lock up in our rooms, praying...so that we will be completely focused on Christ? To find compete 100% satisfactions in Him, and not the World or humans.

How do we balance having friendship, including an SO and/or romantic interest AND our friends, with our relationship with Christ?

Just thoughts, and wondering what you'all think.