Loneliness

[AWorkInProgress]

Sorry all to drag this old dusty post up.

Reason being is I found out why I struggled with this massive loneliness pain and where my dyfunction lied.

Had burn out and, even with changes I did to guard my heart, the pain was came back. Lead me to check out burn outs in Coping.org. Found out that I was seeked attention or to really be noticed. I would have this urge that overwhelm me to help people(sincerely of course) and hope I would be appresiated or loved for it. When no one really responded or cared for my actions it went against this fame dyfunction and amplified this thought that I was not loved or aka loneliness pain.

Still get slight annoyance if feel lonely but no where as consuming as before.

 

[catlover]

I have this same feeling of lonliness, so I know what you mean--

I can feel totally and utterly alone, even in the middle of a crowd, or with family, etc. It didn't come from nowhere - I feel disconnected because I've been betrayed so much, and no one I know seems to understand but rather tells me to 'cheer up' or 'do something about it'. It's hard for me to trust people because of this and because of things I've been through.

But I try to believe God is the presence that's always been there. But sometimes I have to wonder, why does He just stand by and watch?

I hear you. The "God loves you so much blah blah blah..." gets old, well if He really did why did he abandon me and allow happen what has happened in my miserable stinking life?

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I hear you. The "God loves you so much blah blah blah..." gets old, well if He really did why did he abandon me and allow happen what has happened in my miserable stinking life?

Answer is found is found in James.

 

[catlover]

Answer is found is found in James.

There is no answer...

 

[Healed_IHS]

I walked away from god and my years of foolishness gave me bad fruit. Since I turned to god and with the help of his people I have been mopping up my bad fruit.

I completely understant... my life for the past several years has followed the "prodigal son" story to a T. I know God has forgiven me, because I have a great and loving God. I just can forgive myself

Answer is found is found in James.

"Consider it pure joy..."? Suffering produces character... this is all true, but I am still miserable.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I walked away from god and my years of foolishness gave me bad fruit. Since I turned to god and with the help of his people I have been mopping up my bad fruit.

I completely understant... my life for the past several years has followed the "prodigal son" story to a T. I know God has forgiven me, because I have a great and loving God. I just can forgive myself

Answer is found is found in James.

"Consider it pure joy..."? Suffering produces character... this is all true, but I am still miserable.

Hey brother,

Are you ok? Post kinda concluded, but wouldn't hurt to talk about loneliness in general.

God made us that we not be alone. Plenty of proverbs and scripture showing how to be good friends. Like Iron sharpens iron and such.

I am still studying on this because server loneliness is a sad thing. Robs you of your strength, because the spirit is broken.

Think some of it has to do with personal growth. Too shy or scared to get involved with people or simply walk up and start a conversation.

Lets explore the depth of loneliness and understand it more. With understanding we can really grab ahold of answers that God gives us. Feel free to throw in your opinions.

HMM.. might want to start new thread. hehe kinda embarassed with this one. Was my fame dysfunction that drove me to make it. =P

 

[Mask]

It just doesn't make any sense...I have God in my life, I have a wonderful husband and children, I have friends I can talk to, but I am still lonely inside!!! That is just nuts!! It makes me really mad ! It seemed like the emptiness went away when the Lord came in but after a few major blows to the emotions/spirit/body, the hole is there again! Maybe it never left, I was just so caught up in the newness/love of the Lord to notice it? It is just nuts to be with a crowd of people, who you know like you (well some do anyway ) and still feel lonely, disconnected! There is always a feeling of something is missing! What is it??? You were told before you were Christian that it was a spiritual void that only God could fill, but is it? He is in me now, but I still feel that ugly hole! Where are the answers! I just get tired of all this stupid crap! It just seems like things get pointed out, now they are boldly slapping you in the face, but you still don't know what to do with them!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

It just doesn't make any sense...I have God in my life, I have a wonderful husband and children, I have friends I can talk to, but I am still lonely inside!!! That is just nuts!! It makes me really mad ! It seemed like the emptiness went away when the Lord came in but after a few major blows to the emotions/spirit/body, the hole is there again! Maybe it never left, I was just so caught up in the newness/love of the Lord to notice it? It is just nuts to be with a crowd of people, who you know like you (well some do anyway ) and still feel lonely, disconnected! There is always a feeling of something is missing! What is it??? You were told before you were Christian that it was a spiritual void that only God could fill, but is it? He is in me now, but I still feel that ugly hole! Where are the answers! I just get tired of all this stupid crap! It just seems like things get pointed out, now they are boldly slapping you in the face, but you still don't know what to do with them!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Intresting. Being on the opposite side of the spectrum and still feeling it.

Some reason my mind is thinking about when Jesus always made time to find solitude and pray/talk with his father. I am still working on this.

 

[If Not For Grace]

Boiled down to its core--loneliness is often a form of self-pity. Like most tactics used by the enemy it is most easily defeated with gratitude. Get some affirmations, cute quotes, scriptures whatever you like and write them down and say them aloud to yourself each am. You won't believe them at first, but you will begin to see a change if you will do this I promise you.
The spoken word is powerful. (God spoke the world into existence--remember?)

because I get almost paralized by what I think others think... It drives me bonkers!

Counter negative thinking with these type statements as well. "It's none of my business what others think of me". Really it's not--they are entitled to their opinion and YOU are entitled to yours. Now what is your opinion of yourself. (If you don't like it, change it).

We are blessed and highly favored.
Every Path has a few puddles.
It's ok to sit on your pity pot once in awhile, just flush when you are done.

 

[Mask]

Intresting. Being on the opposite side of the spectrum and still feeling it.

Some reason my mind is thinking about when Jesus always made time to find solitude and pray/talk with his father. I am still working on this.

What are you talking about?

 

[Healed_IHS]

Some reason my mind is thinking about when Jesus always made time to find solitude and pray/talk with his father. I am still working on this.
There is a saying from Martin Luther's A Simple Way to Pray that heavily influenced my view on prayer...

There is a saying ascribed to St. Jerome that everything a believer does is prayer1 and a proverb, "He who works faithfully prays twice."

Working faithfully is one of my chief aims when doing a task (even if it cleaning out a toilet), by doing this I can keep myself "God centered" This also helps fill the loneliness that's being experienced, at least somewhat.

Prayer by itself is great, and I am grateful to be able to talk to God directly (without having to kill a sheep prior). Prayer, however, does not change the past. I can't forgive myself for the waste my life has become. I think this is why I am so lonely.

God knew this life was going to be lonely, that's why Eve came on the scene. Feels like life would be so much easier with a helper.

 

[Mask]

Some reason my mind is thinking about when Jesus always made time to find solitude and pray/talk with his father. I am still working on this.
There is a saying from Martin Luther's A Simple Way to Pray that heavily influenced my view on prayer...

There is a saying ascribed to St. Jerome that everything a believer does is prayer1 and a proverb, "He who works faithfully prays twice."

Working faithfully is one of my chief aims when doing a task (even if it cleaning out a toilet), by doing this I can keep myself "God centered" This also helps fill the loneliness that's being experienced, at least somewhat.

Prayer by itself is great, and I am grateful to be able to talk to God directly (without having to kill a sheep prior). Prayer, however, does not change the past. I can't forgive myself for the waste my life has become. I think this is why I am so lonely.

God knew this life was going to be lonely, that's why Eve came on the scene. Feels like life would be so much easier with a helper.

Can you explain exactly what you mean by " Working faithfully is one of my cheif aims when doing a task"? What do you mean? Do you mean that you try to focus your attention on God, no matter what you are doing?

I have a wonderful husband, and two great kids but it doesn't remove that lonely spot inside of me. Wish it did!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

oh man I just want to punch a wall right now.

Loneliness feeling been creeping in and out of my life. Last week and half I been a slave to it.

ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! I WANT MY @#$#ING LIFE BACK!!!

I am convienced that Loneliness is discontentment with one's life.

God has helped me in numerious ways, I met many wonderful people and seen great things. I have regain hope I lost years and years ago. My life slowly turning around for the better every freaking day. I have grown many times over since I first started this march. I help people left and right and it brings me Joy. I help my church and it brings me Joy. My job gave me 2, TWO FREAKING BONUS CHECKS because of the change in me. I have brand new guitar and great books I can learn from. I have some decent stuff to repair car stereo and learn electronics.

YET HERE I AM... I am drowning in self pitty because I AM FREAKING IMPATIENT FOR GOD TO GIVE ME AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE?! My god....... So...so many wonderful blessings and I am trap in self pitty and emptiness.

Today I mark loneliness as my enemy. It is discontentment with my life, when there should be little to none there. Sinful nature will not bound me anymore.

 

[Mask]

Don't beat yourself us so much! God gave us our emotions..and loneliness is one of them. God put that desire/longing in you for a Godly mate! He said it was not good for man to be alone...He wants you to have a mate. I can only imagine what it must be like to long for someone to share your life with...my heart goes out to single people who want to be married . I have my husband to turn to so I feel for you who don't have a mate. Keep praying for God to send the right person along for you.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Don't beat yourself us so much! God gave us our emotions..and loneliness is one of them. God put that desire/longing in you for a Godly mate! He said it was not good for man to be alone...He wants you to have a mate. I can only imagine what it must be like to long for someone to share your life with...my heart goes out to single people who want to be married . I have my husband to turn to so I feel for you who don't have a mate. Keep praying for God to send the right person along for you.

I think it's part of the recipe of Loneliness. My experiences that lead to that post can be summed up this way. Like quicksand, walk into it without knowing. Slowly it you sink down unable to get free. Get frantic in trying to figure a way out of it instead sink faster.

My getting fed up was me grabbing that tree limb God put above me and using all my strength to pull me out of it.

Jeremiah was a prophet that had to do God's will alone. He had major discontemptment for his situation. Really thou he was doing God's will, the right thing. Everyone else was following their own sinful ways. So to feel better he should forsake God and join in with the sinners?

God will one day give me the opperunity to find an understanding wife. Right now my life is blessed and can get only better, but if I fall to this loneliness. It will be extremely desparate and seek out what I crave in ungodly like ways.

For what good is to gain the whole world but to at the cost of losing one's soul?

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

oh man I just want to punch a wall right now.

Loneliness feeling been creeping in and out of my life. Last week and half I been a slave to it.

ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! I WANT MY @#$#ING LIFE BACK!!!

I am convienced that Loneliness is discontentment with one's life.

God has helped me in numerious ways, I met many wonderful people and seen great things. I have regain hope I lost years and years ago. My life slowly turning around for the better every freaking day. I have grown many times over since I first started this march. I help people left and right and it brings me Joy. I help my church and it brings me Joy. My job gave me 2, TWO FREAKING BONUS CHECKS because of the change in me. I have brand new guitar and great books I can learn from. I have some decent stuff to repair car stereo and learn electronics.

YET HERE I AM... I am drowning in self pitty because I AM FREAKING IMPATIENT FOR GOD TO GIVE ME AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE?! My god....... So...so many wonderful blessings and I am trap in self pitty and emptiness.

Today I mark loneliness as my enemy. It is discontentment with my life, when there should be little to none there. Sinful nature will not bound me anymore.

Wow. You totally just hit the nail on the head. I'm so discontent with my life right now. I have no job, friends, boyfriend and bascially no life at all. I'm trying so hard to be content with my life and my singleness especially but it's so hard. So yeah I totally understand how you feel.

 

[Healed_IHS]

Sorry been a while since on computer
Some reason my mind is thinking about when Jesus always made time to find solitude and pray/talk with his father. I am still working on this.
" Working faithfully is one of my chief aims when doing a task"

The way I "Try" to look at it (not always successful), when I am doing something constructive, it makes God want to be around me more than when I am doing something negative. The reason I feel this, is we were created in his image, and while we may have compassion for people in negative moods, they are just not too fun to have at a party. So, by being constructive (even cleaning toilets), God sees we are being productive and helpful and draws closer to us. A great time to pray & commune with God, Work in Prog.

Mask-- What do you mean? Do you mean that you try to focus your attention on God, no matter what you are doing?
Quite simply, yes. For the above reasons.

I have a wonderful husband, and two great kids but it doesn't remove that lonely spot inside of me. Wish it did!'

I hear ya sister! My family is over 2k miles away, and I haven't been blessed by one of my own yet (In God's time I tell myself). It's rough to feel so disconnected from loved ones. I would suggest meditating on where that loneliness comes from. Is there something not congruent in your life? Is it coming from an illusion? Is it bio-chemical?

Anyone here Yolanda Adams? She has this great song "Victory" I am VERY picky when it comes to Gospel/Christian music (and most of the time prefer secular), but highly recommend this one. Do a search for "Yolanda Adams" & "Victory lyrics"
"Truly I been through the storm and rain
I know everything about heartache and pain
But God carried me through it all
Without His protection I'd surely fall "
I like to start the morning with and find it helps.

 

[TrueHope]

oh man I just want to punch a wall right now.

Loneliness feeling been creeping in and out of my life. Last week and half I been a slave to it.

ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP! I WANT MY @#$#ING LIFE BACK!!!

I am convienced that Loneliness is discontentment with one's life.

God has helped me in numerious ways, I met many wonderful people and seen great things. I have regain hope I lost years and years ago. My life slowly turning around for the better every freaking day. I have grown many times over since I first started this march. I help people left and right and it brings me Joy. I help my church and it brings me Joy. My job gave me 2, TWO FREAKING BONUS CHECKS because of the change in me. I have brand new guitar and great books I can learn from. I have some decent stuff to repair car stereo and learn electronics.

YET HERE I AM... I am drowning in self pitty because I AM FREAKING IMPATIENT FOR GOD TO GIVE ME AN UNDERSTANDING WIFE?! My god....... So...so many wonderful blessings and I am trap in self pitty and emptiness.

Today I mark loneliness as my enemy. It is discontentment with my life, when there should be little to none there. Sinful nature will not bound me anymore.

Oh...hear you there! For me...understanding husband!


And I totally agree with the post regarding our walk with God, have so many blessings and STILL feeling lonely inside...(I don't know how to do several quotes...argh!)

It's like, I feel so close to our Lord, yet so very distant from the rest of ...well....EVERYONE! I have my few friends here, that's nice....but the emptiness, should be filled with SOMETHING....and though daily I walk with my Lord, it seems like....I don't know how to explain it....and it depresses me! My family depresses me...people depress me....everything makes me sad....yet outside of my home, outside of my FLESH....I am very happy....it's like this tug of war and I am sick of it! I know the devil uses it every instance he can....feeding me lies, and I pray constantly......just I think I'm battling myself now, more than anything! ARGH! So glad to see others like me....I'm so tired of this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Oh...hear you there! For me...understanding husband!


And I totally agree with the post regarding our walk with God, have so many blessings and STILL feeling lonely inside...(I don't know how to do several quotes...argh!)

It's like, I feel so close to our Lord, yet so very distant from the rest of ...well....EVERYONE! I have my few friends here, that's nice....but the emptiness, should be filled with SOMETHING....and though daily I walk with my Lord, it seems like....I don't know how to explain it....and it depresses me! My family depresses me...people depress me....everything makes me sad....yet outside of my home, outside of my FLESH....I am very happy....it's like this tug of war and I am sick of it! I know the devil uses it every instance he can....feeding me lies, and I pray constantly......just I think I'm battling myself now, more than anything! ARGH! So glad to see others like me....I'm so tired of this feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling!!!!!!!!!!!!

indeed,

The spirit, humility, and reason swelled and that is what came out. It did a knock out punch to my loneliness. I been free since.

I think it's part of the recipe of Loneliness. My experiences that lead to that post can be summed up this way. Like quicksand, walk into it without knowing. Slowly it you sink down unable to get free. Get frantic in trying to figure a way out of it instead sink faster. My getting fed up was me grabbing that tree limb God put above me and using all my strength to pull me out of it.

I have taken those intimacy desires and put them to sleep. I keep my thoughts away from pondering about love life because I will be walking into quicksand again. I try to keep myself busy and spend time helping out between church and family. Taking some small risks to hang out with friends and meet new people. Not where I like to be but much better than that week I was a slave.

Oh yeah, I found that I have total control over my body. With loneliness and ADD, I lack that ignition energy level to get motivated. YET if I am hungry, have to go to the bathroom, have an itch, etc my body does what is needed. I learned that even thou I was a slave, really it was all in my mind. I could have gotten up and did anything just matter of doing it. Sounds funny, just I am learning to not limit myself by how I feel, but do what my mind/spirit wants to do. Sit there in bed, I challenge myself do something weird with my hand. I have no motivation, but I do it anyways and hand responds.

Just thought I share. TrueHope, depression can be defeated and so can loneliness. Thru fruits of the spirit(patience), reason thought of the mind, contentment with your situation, forgiveness of oneself as make mistakes as you grow, keep humble, and taking the focus off oneself and focus on improving something else(i.e. guitar playing, church work, work).

 

[TrueHope]

indeed,

The spirit, humility, and reason swelled and that is what came out. It did a knock out punch to my loneliness. I been free since.



I have taken those intimacy desires and put them to sleep. I keep my thoughts away from pondering about love life because I will be walking into quicksand again. I try to keep myself busy and spend time helping out between church and family. Taking some small risks to hang out with friends and meet new people. Not where I like to be but much better than that week I was a slave.

Oh yeah, I found that I have total control over my body. With loneliness and ADD, I lack that ignition energy level to get motivated. YET if I am hungry, have to go to the bathroom, have an itch, etc my body does what is needed. I learned that even thou I was a slave, really it was all in my mind. I could have gotten up and did anything just matter of doing it. Sounds funny, just I am learning to not limit myself by how I feel, but do what my mind/spirit wants to do. Sit there in bed, I challenge myself do something weird with my hand. I have no motivation, but I do it anyways and hand responds.

Just thought I share. TrueHope, depression can be defeated and so can loneliness. Thru fruits of the spirit(patience), reason thought of the mind, contentment with your situation, forgiveness of oneself as make mistakes as you grow, keep humble, and taking the focus off oneself and focus on improving something else(i.e. guitar playing, church work, work).

Thank you! I needed that! I too am a constant work in progress! Though tiring, I know in the end, it will be very rewarding!

It's difficult here because of the reasons we are here, the life is so different from the one I had in the states. And people are so..."We love you then we take what we can and leave" so my husband doesn't want any new friends, nothing. And life without friends...well...it's like death. You can't imagine....before, and now....most would have leaped off the top of their roof...and I hang in there....wishing I could be forgiven if I DID....that keeps me from morbid thoughts! Christ!