Loneliness

[PeculiarTreasure]

indeed,

The spirit, humility, and reason swelled and that is what came out. It did a knock out punch to my loneliness. I been free since.



I have taken those intimacy desires and put them to sleep. I keep my thoughts away from pondering about love life because I will be walking into quicksand again. I try to keep myself busy and spend time helping out between church and family. Taking some small risks to hang out with friends and meet new people. Not where I like to be but much better than that week I was a slave.

Oh yeah, I found that I have total control over my body. With loneliness and ADD, I lack that ignition energy level to get motivated. YET if I am hungry, have to go to the bathroom, have an itch, etc my body does what is needed. I learned that even thou I was a slave, really it was all in my mind. I could have gotten up and did anything just matter of doing it. Sounds funny, just I am learning to not limit myself by how I feel, but do what my mind/spirit wants to do. Sit there in bed, I challenge myself do something weird with my hand. I have no motivation, but I do it anyways and hand responds.

Just thought I share. TrueHope, depression can be defeated and so can loneliness. Thru fruits of the spirit(patience), reason thought of the mind, contentment with your situation, forgiveness of oneself as make mistakes as you grow, keep humble, and taking the focus off oneself and focus on improving something else(i.e. guitar playing, church work, work).

That makes a lot of sense. It's like I know what I need to do but my motivation to do it is just at zero. I know I need to find a job but have no motivation to look for one. I know I need friends but I just can't make myself go meet people. It's so frustrating.

 

[TrueHope]

Sometimes I think that our walks get so lonely and depressing because we are not supposed to be of this world...live in, yes, be of, no. And this is where the Spirit fights the flesh. I know that when I really pray and focus, I can go through volcanos, tornados, hell and back and with a smile.....a genuine smile, yet at others, that spirit of self pity covers me...like lately....and I hate it. Because I know it is wrong....and motivation to pick myself up off the dirt trodden floor feels impossible, knowing that it is. Yet it is part of the walk. I know the disciples felt similar.....and that is comforting. Knowing Christ chose these real people, who struggled, had anger issues, had pride issues, all of it, and yet they were so loved by Him....that is so consoling! It really is.

I just got news that my dog needs surgery. She broke her hip....so I have to prepare her a safe place in this beautiful yet disrespected house.....(Thanks to my happy kiddies here) And I have no motivation to clean.....such is my life! weeeeeeeeee

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Thanks True and Singing,

Well when I first started this, there was a passage that helped me stay clean from lust for record of month and half. More we talk about this more it is making sense for our struggle with motivation.

2 Corinthians 12
" 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

As you put it Truehope, its learning how to let spirit overcome the flesh. Specking of which I have to overcome my flesh and get back to work.

 

[TrueHope]

Thanks True and Singing,

Well when I first started this, there was a passage that helped me stay clean from lust for record of month and half. More we talk about this more it is making sense for our struggle with motivation.

2 Corinthians 12
" 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

As you put it Truehope, its learning how to let spirit overcome the flesh. Specking of which I have to overcome my flesh and get back to work.

I remember fighting lust.....one day....it just disappeared.

Temptation is at every corner, especially since my husband works in another country and everyone knows I am here alone...but praise the Lord, if someone looks at me or approaches me....I don't think twice. When I was younger....looked twice, 3 times, 4 times....STARED! lol

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I remember fighting lust.....one day....it just disappeared.

Temptation is at every corner, especially since my husband works in another country and everyone knows I am here alone...but praise the Lord, if someone looks at me or approaches me....I don't think twice. When I was younger....looked twice, 3 times, 4 times....STARED! lol

I know the temptation will cease the more I get involved. Gotten better, just not all the way there.

 

[TrueHope]

I know the temptation will cease the more I get involved. Gotten better, just not all the way there.

I promise you, you can and will conquer it! Everything is conquerable through Christ. Just sometimes we must deal with the battles, (which can be draining...) to overcome the stronghold in our lives!

God Bless you!!!!

 

[treat]

With God around you should never feel totally alone or unwanted, although it can sometimes be hard to believe this.

s and s

i hear gods voice and feel his concern for me and love him as much as anyone , but if i lived in america where guns are legal i would shoot myself in the heart without hesitation

 

[AWorkInProgress]

i hear gods voice and feel his concern for me and love him as much as anyone , but if i lived in america where guns are legal i would shoot myself in the heart without hesitation

You are right, you live in America where you have God given freedoms that are protected.

Gun doesn't kill people, it is the intentions of the hearts of men that do. Right now your heart is crushed with sadness and filled with hate for yourself. Jesus said a man who thinks with hate has already killed that man in his mind. You have killed yourself.

Good news is that not become reality, and you have a chance to forgive yourself and reclaim the victorious life that God has given you. The question is will you take what is infront of you?

You have to realize that your spirit is crushed with a broken heart. Your tolerance to what your sinful nature says is low, so it tells you how horrible you are. Yet that is far from the truth. I tell you that you can overcome this, but you have to start by realizing that you need help. Right now your spirit is weakened and needs help overcoming the emptiness inside.

Talk to a trusted love one, councellor, theorpist, paster, or google for one of those suicide hot lines. Do not let your enemies defeat you. You can still win.

 

[Jenafer]

I sometimes feel so sad.. but I hang onto the thought that the sadness will pass.. then it comes again from time to time. Then again I have a lot of things going on in my life.. with sick family members.. chonic illnesses.

I met an old friend who I haven't seen for ages recently.. she told me her husband died.. first he went blind.. then he got cancer. Some things we go though are a very heavy burden indeed.

What else is there to do but make the best of things, and soldier on..

Sorry for being down.. usually I am a more positive person.. it will pass.

 

[TrueHope]

Is it me, or does it seem that so many Christians are feeling severely persecuted, and tested right now.

My husband and I call it our chastisement time. Sometimes it feels as if all the heaviness will kill us....but we are still here. This is the power of Christ...keeping us here even when we feel like giving up!

We have to be tested. It's part of the journey, so its the accepting it that is difficult to do and makes it harder to carry on.

I don't know...but it is an observation that I have, and it makes me feel that things will happen sooner than later. Because EVERYONE I know has something extremely serious going on. Not like years ago, when we all had our problems....and they appeared fixable.....Now, so many feel theirs aren't. And finances are a major role in so many. Just a thought.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I sometimes feel so sad.. but I hang onto the thought that the sadness will pass.. then it comes again from time to time. Then again I have a lot of things going on in my life.. with sick family members.. chonic illnesses.

I met an old friend who I haven't seen for ages recently.. she told me her husband died.. first he went blind.. then he got cancer. Some things we go though are a very heavy burden indeed.

What else is there to do but make the best of things, and soldier on..

Sorry for being down.. usually I am a more positive person.. it will pass.

Heya Jen,

No worries about being down. You have the right attitude.

We all feel grief and saddness for lost and suffering love ones. It is what makes us human. It is how you deal with your emotions that is important.

Expression is great reliever, just take sometime and write down how you truly feel or tell that person. If you shove pain down and try to ignore it, it will come back with a vengence.

Also it is best to hand over all these worries and fears to God. Little to nothing we can do about it, but God can do anything.

Phillippians 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Soldiering on is one way to look at it. I like to make a point that you can do more than just making it thru. When you seek spiritual maturity, it teaches you how to build up your spirit. So instead of just getting by, you find strength and wisdom from God and unlock your true potiental. Pushing back the walls of fear and being free from bondage of sinful nature. A truly victorious life thru Jesus sorta speak.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Soldiering on is one way to look at it. I like to make a point that you can do more than just making it thru. When you seek spiritual maturity, it teaches you how to build up your spirit. So instead of just getting by, you find strength and wisdom from God and unlock your true potiental. Pushing back the walls of fear and being free from bondage of sinful nature. A truly victorious life thru Jesus sorta speak.

I've been struggling with this very thing for I don't even know how long. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Like you said just getting by. How do you get to the point of being free?

 

[AWorkInProgress]

I've been struggling with this very thing for I don't even know how long. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Like you said just getting by. How do you get to the point of being free?

It is a process that is for sure. This is going to sound weird, hopefully I will make sense.

OK my journey started simple, be free from lust. God helped me for a while on this, then my enemy came back. I defeated it for a while there.

It was like I was running a marathon and finish line is freedom. I get running and making speed finally and out of no where a problem jumped out of the bushes and tackled me to the ground.

I see things in black and white for most part. Either I am free or I am a slave. If I am a slave, then it is my enemy. As long time gamer, when you fight a really difficult enemy. You step back and try to understand each of the attacks, understand the conquence of actions taken from it, what effects it had on me. I would best identify it as I could, then google the problem. Knowledge is power. I found websites like www.coping.org to help me understand.

Once one truly understands their enemy, then they know what is needed to be done to overcome it. Bible gave examples of this when people long ago dealt with the same issues. Applying that knowledge is rough but it has to be done. Takes forgiveness and patience with oneself for it to take full effect.

Once the knowledge was applied, I defeated my enemy/demon/problem and now I am wiser than when I first got jumped.

I start running the marathon again then a new problem jumps me. Rinse and repeat.

Bibically here are the lessons;

Matthew 7:7

7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

2 chronicles 7:14

14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

luke 6:46-49
Building on a Solid Foundation

46 “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? 47 I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. 48 It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. 49 But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.”

Humility is always the starting point. If you can not admit you are a slave to a problem, then how do you truly seek freedom from it.

When I read Do not judge others and about "can not see beyond the log in your own eye." I had to laugh then look down in shame because I done it many times before. I admited to myself and God that I have ignored my own log in my eye. Still gives me a chuckle to this day lol

People interpret things in their own way. I like engineering and robotics. I see my mind as peice of engineering by God. If he is my creator who best to ask how to get this machinery to work? I took what I learned from the scriptures and adapted it to how I percieve things.

Dysfunctions where another key issue. We grow up, but we look to the world that is drowning in Sin for lessons in life. Problem being is world didn't create us, God did. Spiritual and maturity itself is process of tossing out garbage that I learned from movies or TV and replacing it correct parts that God orginally designed me to be.

Depression itself is a dysfunction, makes me believe that I am something that I truly am not. I need to be social by God's design, but I put walls around me. I need attention and cry out for help, but my mind convinces me to pull away from reality and people who love me. I should seek answers from people who been thru same problems, but instead I am arrogent and think no one in this earth understands my pain.

Aaron Lewis was first one to show me the errors in my ways, then I seeked true wisdom to be free.

Sometimes when you're out of rope
The way to climb back up is clear
The walls you build around yourself
I guess they also keep you here
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever 'they' happen to be
Or are you hiding from the scars
Of your own reality?

The monster you're feeding, your lack of perception
The things that you do to fulfill addictions
The light at the end of your tunnel is closing
What is it that you're so afraid of exposing
You'd give it all up
For what's there for the taking
Whatever it takes to keep your hands from shaking
The same things you're thinking might make you feel better
The same things that probably got you here

Lyrics Staind "Reality"

You, all alone, are you waiting for someone to make you whole?
Can't you see aren't you tired of this dysfunctional routine.

I already told you, that falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the problem
If you don't believe can find a way out, you become the problem, become the problem.

Falling is easy it's getting back up that becomes the problem, becomes the problem
And if you believe can find a way out
Then you've solved the problem, you've solved your problem.


Lyrics Staind "Falling"

All comes down to choice, freewill. Can choose to be a slave or you can do everything in your power to be free. This is why hope is so important, you don't give up in trying to break the chains.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

It is a process that is for sure. This is going to sound weird, hopefully I will make sense.

OK my journey started simple, be free from lust. God helped me for a while on this, then my enemy came back. I defeated it for a while there.

It was like I was running a marathon and finish line is freedom. I get running and making speed finally and out of no where a problem jumped out of the bushes and tackled me to the ground.

I see things in black and white for most part. Either I am free or I am a slave. If I am a slave, then it is my enemy. As long time gamer, when you fight a really difficult enemy. You step back and try to understand each of the attacks, understand the conquence of actions taken from it, what effects it had on me. I would best identify it as I could, then google the problem. Knowledge is power. I found websites like www.coping.org to help me understand.

Once one truly understands their enemy, then they know what is needed to be done to overcome it. Bible gave examples of this when people long ago dealt with the same issues. Applying that knowledge is rough but it has to be done. Takes forgiveness and patience with oneself for it to take full effect.

Once the knowledge was applied, I defeated my enemy/demon/problem and now I am wiser than when I first got jumped.

I start running the marathon again then a new problem jumps me. Rinse and repeat.

Bibically here are the lessons;







Humility is always the starting point. If you can not admit you are a slave to a problem, then how do you truly seek freedom from it.

When I read Do not judge others and about "can not see beyond the log in your own eye." I had to laugh then look down in shame because I done it many times before. I admited to myself and God that I have ignored my own log in my eye. Still gives me a chuckle to this day lol

People interpret things in their own way. I like engineering and robotics. I see my mind as peice of engineering by God. If he is my creator who best to ask how to get this machinery to work? I took what I learned from the scriptures and adapted it to how I percieve things.

Dysfunctions where another key issue. We grow up, but we look to the world that is drowning in Sin for lessons in life. Problem being is world didn't create us, God did. Spiritual and maturity itself is process of tossing out garbage that I learned from movies or TV and replacing it correct parts that God orginally designed me to be.

Depression itself is a dysfunction, makes me believe that I am something that I truly am not. I need to be social by God's design, but I put walls around me. I need attention and cry out for help, but my mind convinces me to pull away from reality and people who love me. I should seek answers from people who been thru same problems, but instead I am arrogent and think no one in this earth understands my pain.

Aaron Lewis was first one to show me the errors in my ways, then I seeked true wisdom to be free.





All comes down to choice, freewill. Can choose to be a slave or you can do everything in your power to be free. This is why hope is so important, you don't give up in trying to break the chains.

Thanks for this. It does make a lot of sense. Ironic you use the marathon analogy. I was writing on my LJ about that very thing a few months ago about a certain situation. It's a really good picture of what I feel like sometimes. It seems everytime I jump one hurdle another comes along. Sometimes even the same one!

In other news my loneliness has somewhat faded. My mom is now outta school (she's a teacher) and she's been home more. Which is awesome! She's one of my best friends. I still could use some other friends though but things are looking up which I praise God for.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Thanks for this. It does make a lot of sense. Ironic you use the marathon analogy. I was writing on my LJ about that very thing a few months ago about a certain situation. It's a really good picture of what I feel like sometimes. It seems everytime I jump one hurdle another comes along. Sometimes even the same one!

In other news my loneliness has somewhat faded. My mom is now outta school (she's a teacher) and she's been home more. Which is awesome! She's one of my best friends. I still could use some other friends though but things are looking up which I praise God for.

Awesome!

1. Be Patient
2. Learn how to open your heart to people around you
3. Learn how to listen to other people
4. Learn about how to take risks.

Only a person who risks - is free.

which has helped a lot. Months ago when I first started being social, seemed like impossible mountain to climb. Now I am getting better at it, even in group type situation I was able to make conversation and get them all to laugh. I couldn't do that before.

Starting to learn that take what you got and apply it. Then I adjust communcation skills as I make mistakes. Like I used to just give all my information and explain things in detail. Average person can only maintain attention for so long. Had to learn to make things short and sweet. I try to be realistic on how much a person can handle what I have to say. Learning to listen was tough, since I have semi impulsive need to say things.

Since I learned for most part how not go give the keyes to my self image to others. I can push back my social fears more. I can take bigger conversational risks and focus on what I want to say rather than think about what other people are thinking. Like anything more practice, better we get.

Surprized how well I did when I visited my Mom's office. Naturally she wants to introduce me to new guy there and say hello to her coworkers. So now I have 4-5 people focused somewhat on me. I took the reigns and asked semi sarcastic questions and was myself. A lazy bum type personality lol Got them all to laugh, which felt good. Also there are times where I know I can't add anything, so I shut up and listen to the conversation.

Kinda applying the same logic to my guitar now. haha

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Awesome!

1. Be Patient
2. Learn how to open your heart to people around you
3. Learn how to listen to other people
4. Learn about how to take risks.

Only a person who risks - is free.

which has helped a lot. Months ago when I first started being social, seemed like impossible mountain to climb. Now I am getting better at it, even in group type situation I was able to make conversation and get them all to laugh. I couldn't do that before.

Starting to learn that take what you got and apply it. Then I adjust communcation skills as I make mistakes. Like I used to just give all my information and explain things in detail. Average person can only maintain attention for so long. Had to learn to make things short and sweet. I try to be realistic on how much a person can handle what I have to say. Learning to listen was tough, since I have semi impulsive need to say things.

Since I learned for most part how not go give the keyes to my self image to others. I can push back my social fears more. I can take bigger conversational risks and focus on what I want to say rather than think about what other people are thinking. Like anything more practice, better we get.

Surprized how well I did when I visited my Mom's office. Naturally she wants to introduce me to new guy there and say hello to her coworkers. So now I have 4-5 people focused somewhat on me. I took the reigns and asked semi sarcastic questions and was myself. A lazy bum type personality lol Got them all to laugh, which felt good. Also there are times where I know I can't add anything, so I shut up and listen to the conversation.

Kinda applying the same logic to my guitar now. haha

That makes a load of sense! I'm beginning to realize that life does involve taking some risks. It's scary yes but has to be done in order to really live. Just like the article said. Thanks so much for sharing!

LOL! I wish I could afford lessons to learn how to play mine!

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Not a problem!

I can't afford lessons either, but I did purchase couple books and asked everyone who could play. I read many pages from guitar sites and tried to conprehend music theory.

Ultimately it comes to down right just playing. Also inspiration helps a ton to keep me motivated. Like if you read my blog about last night's Arts/worship ministry practice night. Check out this thread, www.christianguitar.com and http://www.myguitarsolo.com/

Myguitarsolo is great site, I started the "Gyms" under warm ups. Also Youtube has many people trying teach guitar and easy songs. Like CCR's "Bad Moon Rising" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ2j0HHz6Xo