Living with christianity as a non-christian.

[Galdrun]

I live in a predominantly christian part of my state, with a christian family (both mine and my girlfriend's), and work in a catholic hospital. Not to complain, as I live a very good and comfortable life, but sometimes it can be difficult as a non-christian...

I have to lie to my mom, and pretend that I am still christian. She suffers with bipolar disorder, and if she ever knew I was agnostic, she would have a nervous breakdown. A family friend of ours became wiccan, and she stresses about his eternal soul. My girlfriend's mom was in tears while talking to me the other night. She is terrified that me and my girlfriend (who isn't a believer) are destined for hell. I kind of got the feeling from her that I needed to start taking my girlfriend to church and get her right with god. At my place of work, I am surrounded by symbolism, verses, and all kinds of christian paraphernalia. In my neighborhood, there are 10 churches within walking distance, and people are vocal in their proclamations of faith. When walking down the street, it's not uncommon for folks to stop me and proselytize to me.

Over the past couple of years it's been getting more intense, and it's been a bit stressful... I'm not sure what anyone could say about it, but I do feel like I need to vent. I just wish I could be honest with my family.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I live in a predominantly christian part of my state, with a christian family (both mine and my girlfriend's), and work in a catholic hospital. Not to complain, as I live a very good and comfortable life, but sometimes it can be difficult as a non-christian...

I have to lie to my mom, and pretend that I am still christian. She suffers with bipolar disorder, and if she ever knew I was agnostic, she would have a nervous breakdown. A family friend of ours became wiccan, and she stresses about his eternal soul. My girlfriend's mom was in tears while talking to me the other night. She is terrified that me and my girlfriend (who isn't a believer) are destined for hell. I kind of got the feeling from her that I needed to start taking my girlfriend to church and get her right with god. At my place of work, I am surrounded by symbolism, verses, and all kinds of christian paraphernalia. In my neighborhood, there are 10 churches within walking distance, and people are vocal in their proclamations of faith. When walking down the street, it's not uncommon for folks to stop me and proselytize to me.

Over the past couple of years it's been getting more intense, and it's been a bit stressful... I'm not sure what anyone could say about it, but I do feel like I need to vent. I just wish I could be honest with my family.

Ok. Feel free to vent. And welcome to Christian Forums, Galdrun!

 

[Hank77]

Is there some reason you can't move to a more secular neighborhood? Are you applying for a job at a secular hospital?

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I live in a predominantly christian part of my state, with a christian family (both mine and my girlfriend's), and work in a catholic hospital. Not to complain, as I live a very good and comfortable life, but sometimes it can be difficult as a non-christian...

I have to lie to my mom, and pretend that I am still christian. She suffers with bipolar disorder, and if she ever knew I was agnostic, she would have a nervous breakdown. A family friend of ours became wiccan, and she stresses about his eternal soul. My girlfriend's mom was in tears while talking to me the other night. She is terrified that me and my girlfriend (who isn't a believer) are destined for hell. I kind of got the feeling from her that I needed to start taking my girlfriend to church and get her right with god. At my place of work, I am surrounded by symbolism, verses, and all kinds of christian paraphernalia. In my neighborhood, there are 10 churches within walking distance, and people are vocal in their proclamations of faith. When walking down the street, it's not uncommon for folks to stop me and proselytize to me.

Over the past couple of years it's been getting more intense, and it's been a bit stressful... I'm not sure what anyone could say about it, but I do feel like I need to vent. I just wish I could be honest with my family.

Then just tell him/her/them that you've got questions about Christianity (whatever that religion 'really' is, right?), and you're wanting to think deeply about all of the issues involved with it.

What you're just going to have to accept is that, like it or not, we all live in a diverse society, and there's going to be all kinds of people, with all kinds of dispositions, all kinds of mindsets, personalities, and accompanying problems, and you're going to come into contact with many of them. Some will be among your own family or significant other's family.

Probably, it would be a good thing to talk to many other types of Christians, like here on CF. That way, when you run into Christians in the family or out on the street who try to tell you, "you MUST believe this and that in exactly this way," you can say to them instead, "Well, I understand your position, but I have talked to various Christians, and not all of them are in agreement with you on that point." Then, you just bid them well and a good day! ....it takes practice, but eventually you'll get the hang of it.

 

[Galdrun]

Is there some reason you can't move to a more secular neighborhood? Are you applying for a job at a secular hospital?

Well, honestly it really isn't all that bad. I just have a bad habit of bottling things up until it overflows.

The hospital I work at is actually very progressive in the way they deal with people, and in the kind of people they hire (probably a third of the people working in my department are LGBT, and one of them is a boss). I guess the thing the tipping point was when my soon to be mother in law cried to me about how she wants her daughter and I to be with her in heaven when we die. There isn't anything inherently bad or wrong with that... She's actually one of the kindest and most caring people I've ever known. It just gets to be a bit much sometimes.

As for relocating, I plan on doing so in the future. If nothing else, because it's been getting way too hot and sunny where I live. I want to move out to the coast where it's cooler and more rainy. =)

 

[Galdrun]

Ok. Feel free to vent. And welcome to Christian Forums, Galdrun!

Thanks! You know, since you offered, It started way back when... (Just kidding, I'll spare you) =)

Then just tell him/her/them that you've got questions about Christianity (whatever that religion 'really' is, right?), and you're wanting to think deeply about all of the issues involved with it.

What you're just going to have to accept is that, like it or not, we all live in a diverse society, and there's going to be all kinds of people, with all kinds of dispositions, all kinds of mindsets, personalities, and accompanying problems, and you're going to come into contact with many of them. Some will be among your own family or significant other's family.

Probably, it would be a good thing to talk to many other types of Christians, like here on CF. That way, when you run into Christians in the family or out on the street who try to tell you, "you MUST believe this and that in exactly this way," you can say to them instead, "Well, I understand your position, but I have talked to various Christians, and not all of them are in agreement with you on that point." Then, you just bid them well and a good day! ....it takes practice, but eventually you'll get the hang of it.

Hah! That's true.

Honestly, it's hard to get mad at christian folks, because proselytizing comes from a good place. Christians want to help people, ultimately. But dear lord, sometimes it can be obnoxious...

I can understand things from the other perspective as well, as my dad moved from Cali to get away from the secular area he lived in. He felt that those ideals were being shoved down his throat, and he had to get away.

I don't mind it all that much, though. I prefer dissenting opinions when compared to hearing my own voice in an echo chamber. It keeps one honest. =)

 

[Hank77]

Well, honestly it really isn't all that bad. I just have a bad habit of bottling things up until it overflows.

That is a bad habit and bad for your overall health. You are always welcome to vent here and like it or not people will pray for you.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Thanks! You know, since you offered, It started way back when... (Just kidding, I'll spare you) =)



Hah! That's true.

Honestly, it's hard to get mad at christian folks, because proselytizing comes from a good place. Christians want to help people, ultimately. But dear lord, sometimes it can be obnoxious...

I can understand things from the other perspective as well, as my dad moved from Cali to get away from the secular area he lived in. He felt that those ideals were being shoved down his throat, and he had to get away.

I don't mind it all that much, though. I prefer dissenting opinions when compared to hearing my own voice in an echo chamber. It keeps one honest. =)

I tend to thrive on dissenting opinions, myself---It keeps it all interesting, and it helps me to I stay informed and abreast of what people are thinking about and why they do so. It also helps me to understand where they're coming from and why they react to me the way they do, especially when they're often wondering how I even got into Left Field in the first place.

The thing is to be prepared for people to disagree with you as they attempt to process and come to grips with what you're trying to tell them. It requires some level of patience, willingness to listen, as well as courage to speak your own mind. Just make sure that you're really thinking (and investigating) your own point of view before speaking it.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I live in a predominantly christian part of my state, with a christian family (both mine and my girlfriend's), and work in a catholic hospital. Not to complain, as I live a very good and comfortable life, but sometimes it can be difficult as a non-christian...

I have to lie to my mom, and pretend that I am still christian. She suffers with bipolar disorder, and if she ever knew I was agnostic, she would have a nervous breakdown. A family friend of ours became wiccan, and she stresses about his eternal soul. My girlfriend's mom was in tears while talking to me the other night. She is terrified that me and my girlfriend (who isn't a believer) are destined for hell. I kind of got the feeling from her that I needed to start taking my girlfriend to church and get her right with god. At my place of work, I am surrounded by symbolism, verses, and all kinds of christian paraphernalia. In my neighborhood, there are 10 churches within walking distance, and people are vocal in their proclamations of faith. When walking down the street, it's not uncommon for folks to stop me and proselytize to me.

Over the past couple of years it's been getting more intense, and it's been a bit stressful... I'm not sure what anyone could say about it, but I do feel like I need to vent. I just wish I could be honest with my family.

By the way, my own mother was schizophrenic/bi-polar, so on some level, I can understand where you're coming from. I offer this detail just a little f.y.i. so you know I'm not just trying to offer some cheap advice.

When handling you're mom, it's probably best to not get into any protracted or specific discussions about all of this since she's challenged with an enormous complex of emotional stress.

 

[Galdrun]

I tend to thrive on dissenting opinions, myself---It keeps it all interesting, and it helps me to I stay informed and abreast of what people are thinking about and why they do so. It also helps me to understand where they're coming from and why they react to me the way they do, especially when they're often wondering how I even got into Left Field in the first place.

The thing is to be prepared for people to disagree with you as they attempt to process and come to grips with what you're trying to tell them. It requires some level of patience, willingness to listen, as well as courage to speak your own mind. Just make sure that you're really thinking (and investigating) your own point of view before speaking it.

Well, I do appreciate the good advice. More than anything I'm more worried about them than I am about myself and where I stand. To be fair, I could be misjudging them, and they could be resilient in the wake of my utter honestly... But I care about em, and I don't want to hurt anyone (especially my mom).

By the way, my own mother was schizophrenic/bi-polar, so on some level, I can understand where you're coming from. I offer this detail just a little f.y.i. so you know I'm not just trying to offer some cheap advice.

When handling you're mom, it's probably best to not get into any protracted or specific discussions about all of this since she's challenged with an enormous complex of emotional stress.

That is the absolute truth. A lot of people don't understand how people deal with mental disorders... Something (seemingly) insignificant can turn into a disaster without much encouragement at all.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Well, I do appreciate the good advice. More than anything I'm more worried about them than I am about myself and where I stand. To be fair, I could be misjudging them, and they could be resilient in the wake of my utter honestly... But I care about em, and I don't want to hurt anyone (especially my mom).

Well then, it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders about it, and I do realize it can be tough trying to stay in the closet about your own philosophical views or journeys. But maybe just take a little heart in knowing that, despite what people say, more often than not they also have questions, doubts, and stress that go hand in hand with their uncertainties about religion or the Christian faith. So, you're not really alone in this; maybe you're just a bit more willing to be openly honest about it all, if allowed to. And not everyone out there feels willing to allow open and honest discussion.

That is the absolute truth. A lot of people don't understand how people deal with mental disorders... Something (seemingly) insignificant can turn into a disaster without much encouragement at all.

Yes, most especially when severe cognitive and emotional disorders are involved. So, just be encouraging to your mom as best you can. Life is already hard enough as it is without forcefully having to talk and cause a heated debate about religion with those who can't deal with it.

 

[Serving Zion]

Welcome to the forums! I hope you can find the answers you need, in good time

Thanks! You know, since you offered, It started way back when... (Just kidding, I'll spare you) =)

It is quite important to know this. Can you share that with us? .. Also, your mother's bipolar diagnosis, do you remember when that happened and what the circumstances were that triggered it?

 

[bling]

Do you want to look at becoming a Christian, because you might not be getting the best teaching from those around you?

 

[AservantofGodandthelordJC]

I live in a predominantly christian part of my state, with a christian family (both mine and my girlfriend's), and work in a catholic hospital. Not to complain, as I live a very good and comfortable life, but sometimes it can be difficult as a non-christian...

I have to lie to my mom, and pretend that I am still christian. She suffers with bipolar disorder, and if she ever knew I was agnostic, she would have a nervous breakdown. A family friend of ours became wiccan, and she stresses about his eternal soul. My girlfriend's mom was in tears while talking to me the other night. She is terrified that me and my girlfriend (who isn't a believer) are destined for hell. I kind of got the feeling from her that I needed to start taking my girlfriend to church and get her right with god. At my place of work, I am surrounded by symbolism, verses, and all kinds of christian paraphernalia. In my neighborhood, there are 10 churches within walking distance, and people are vocal in their proclamations of faith. When walking down the street, it's not uncommon for folks to stop me and proselytize to me.

Over the past couple of years it's been getting more intense, and it's been a bit stressful... I'm not sure what anyone could say about it, but I do feel like I need to vent. I just wish I could be honest with my family.

True followers of God are nothing but peaceful.

 

[Galdrun]

Welcome to the forums! I hope you can find the answers you need, in good time

It is quite important to know this. Can you share that with us? .. Also, your mother's bipolar diagnosis, do you remember when that happened and what the circumstances were that triggered it?

Thanks for your concern, but I'm ok now. =)

Well, it actually runs in my family. I dodged the bullet, but my mom, my uncle, and my grandpa all have a version of it. I suspect more of my family do, but they haven't sought counseling and haven't been diagnosed with anything. My mom's variety is more manic, so she has ups for years and years, but her downs are short and quick. Right now she's using her manic high to write a book (or rather, using it as nearly endless fuel), and with as creative as she is, I'm looking forward to reading it when it's finished.

 

[Galdrun]

Do you want to look at becoming a Christian, because you might not be getting the best teaching from those around you?

Well, I see nothing wrong with that concept. I might become a christian again some day, but honestly, I'm not sure christianity has the answers I seek - at least, not the variety I was raised with. I grew up with a very conservative christian upbringing and schooling with a strong emphasis on ignoring tough questions and honest dialogue, and it has left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth...

So I guess on those grounds, you aren't wrong, heh.

 

[Galdrun]

True followers of God are nothing but peaceful.

Well... I'm sure they feel they are being peaceful in their discourse, but to me they seem more overbearing or invasive at times. In some of their cases, I can't blame them - such as in the case of my future mother in law. She cares about her daughter, and me, and wants to see us avoid what she sees as a terrible fate. In other cases, such as when my girlfriend was suffering from extreme stomach pain, and my future father in law wanted to lay hands on her and pray the pain away instead of us just taking her to the hospital when we are in the midst of a medical emergency... That's a little more aggravating for me.

 

[bling]

Well, I see nothing wrong with that concept. I might become a christian again some day, but honestly, I'm not sure christianity has the answers I seek - at least, not the variety I was raised with. I grew up with a very conservative christian upbringing and schooling with a strong emphasis on ignoring tough questions and honest dialogue, and it has left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth...

So I guess on those grounds, you aren't wrong, heh.

I am glade you would consider looking a Christianity again. I am sorry for your bad experience and can understand why you would be agnostic, but I would be willing to help you with your questions.

 

[Galdrun]

I am glade you would consider looking a Christianity again. I am sorry for your bad experience and can understand why you would be agnostic, but I would be willing to help you with your questions.

Well, most of those questions have been answered, but I have been going over a few things in my mind today. Do you believe the bible is the inerrant word of god, or god inspired? What are your thoughts on the other writings that weren't included in the final compilation of the bible at the Council of Nicea? Is Paul an apostle, and if so, why did he preach such a different message than Jesus? Also, do you believe in the Noahide laws? If so, why would Jesus need to die on the cross if there already was a rule set in place for non-Jews that was very basic and easy to follow? Thanks! =)

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Well, I see nothing wrong with that concept. I might become a christian again some day, but honestly, I'm not sure christianity has the answers I seek - at least, not the variety I was raised with. I grew up with a very conservative christian upbringing and schooling with a strong emphasis on ignoring tough questions and honest dialogue, and it has left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth...

So I guess on those grounds, you aren't wrong, heh.

I'm sorry to hear that your early schooling ignored tough questions and honest dialogue. That it a tough minute-steak to have to chew through.

I know that you're wanting to ask questions and journey here at our own pace and in your own way, but just remember that some of us Christians aren't afraid of questions or dialogue, in fact some of us (and I think many if not most here on CF) actually think questions and dialogue are important.