Living At Home

[B'alaam]

If I am wrong, share some of your experiences as a marine. Are you saying that killing and raping and plundering are not part of the history and reality of what US marines do?

Can I gently recommend something?
Keep in mind that I understand your plight, at least in an abstract (my parents weren't as bad)
I'd recommend not getting emotionally involved with people that disagree with you to the point of derailing your own thread.

Seriously E_A, you seem (to me at least) to be getting a bit carried away. Dont allow Autumn to incite you so


Just some advice, nothing more

 

[B'alaam]

Certainly not, it may very well be possible to be a 'net junkie and have a career. But it does tell me they hold little weight in their judgments since their lives are so severely skewed by addiction.

Sorry, Im not trying to contribute to your derailing of your own thread, but that does not necessarily follow
The friend I mentioned earlier is not only (according to *your* definition) and internet junkie, but he's also a smoker
Now, granted, smoking is probably one of the worst decisions (although it's really not a decision when it comes to smoking addiction, at least after a few months), but I cant really see how my friends cooking judgments (or the judgements regarding her job) are directly affected by their "addictions":
Do you really think a long time poster (at 10 posts a day) is a bad cook?
How about a bad construction worker?
Or a bad lawyer?
Or a bad human resources manager?
Or (you might want to visit the C&E forum before you answer this) a bad scientist?
What people do in their free time is no indication of how good or bad they are at their job.

That's nothing but an ad hominem attack, and I think you can do better than that. Others may ad hom you, but that's no reason to sink to their level

 

[who93]

Obviously, it sounds like it would be best for you if you could find a place of your own to live at. You say that you're working, so try to save some money from each paycheck that you get so that you can eventually move out. Every little bit will help. Have you considered being a roommate to someone? At least you'd have someone to split rent and utility costs with and you wouldn't have to live with your parents. Anyway, those are just some suggestions. I hope things work out well for you. God bless!

 

[B'alaam]

Obviously, it sounds like it would be best for you if you could find a place of your own to live at. You say that you're working, so try to save some money from each paycheck that you get so that you can eventually move out. Every little bit will help. Have you considered being a roommate to someone? At least you'd have someone to split rent and utility costs with and you wouldn't have to live with your parents. Anyway, those are just some suggestions. I hope things work out well for you. God bless!

Who93 is correct
Save money, look for a roomate
And
GET
OUT

Seriously, do what you need to to get out (need and want aren't necessarily the same thing)
Just my opinion, that's it

 

[quatona]

I'm really starting to go batty. My firm folded and I'm back home. I'm working, paying rent, but it's not the same as being on one's own. When my firm began to struggle, I began to attend church at the request of my parents. I liked it. Now that I've moved back home, I'm not liking very many of the many churches I've visited.

Quite frankly, I'd rather just stay away and do something else. However, if my parents realize this they either 1. throw a huge hissy fit. Or 2. go into silent passive aggressive withdrawal.

How do you know this?

The goal is to make me as miserable as possible and punish me emotionally.

Working from the assumption that the person opposite works from disingenious motives reliably prevents the solution of conflicts.

All I see so far is that you
1. anticipate their reaction
2. insinuate sinister motives on their part for the reaction you anticipate.
That way you have already determined your problem as unsolvable.

Even though churches around here suck, I still go. I feel like a neutered boy child enunuch. I don't want to get on their bad side, since my financial independence has temporarily disappeared, but I'm also on the verge of insanity.

I´d recommend you to focus on the sovereignity over your own emotions.

If I don't go, I feel "dirty" and "depressed."[/quote]
Why is that? Why do you feel not going to church is dirty?

But when I go, I am appalled by the hypocrisy and blind spots and extreme conservatism of worshipers.

I can relate to that. I see a lot of things around me I don´t like, either. I try to avoid taking them personally.

I feel trapped and increasingly lonely and depressed.

It seems to me that the way you approach things (aniticipating negative reactions on part of the others, assuming that the negative feelings that something causes you points to the fact that causing you negative emotions is the intent of the persons around you, taking things you observe personally) sets you up for feeling trapped, lonely and depressed.

I don't have health insurance, so I can't get therapy.
Obviously, I feel uncomfortable turning to any of the local pastors. They're pretty wacky in their own right.

Is there any person in your life you feel you can trust and to whom you can talk openly?

What to do?

Telling from what you have written here I think you need to focus more on the part you yourself play in this problem. It seems to me that your perception could need a little work. You have a way of a priori defining yourself as the victim of circumstances, and this self-definition naturally will prove itself true. If you PM me I will recommend you a book that might help you get started with shaping your perception in a healthier and more constructive way.

Then again, it´s well possible that your depression is not the effect but the cause.

 

[eves_adam]

Yeah, I wrote that post when I was really under a lot of stress. I'm feeling a lot better right now, although not great.

When I say I feel 'dirty' when I don't go to church, I mean my parents will freeze me out, not talking to me, walking past me and ignoring me like I don't exist, and not responding to me if I say anything to them, for days on end, if I don't go to church. Basically passive aggressive weirdness.

Yes, there is someone I can talk to, and I've avoided talking to this person about my relationship with my parents, since I felt like criticizing my parents is wrong.

 

[eves_adam]

My parent's friends have told my parents and myself in no uncertain terms that forcing someone to go to church is flat out wrong. They've backed off.

I'm still bitter at the constant power play however, and I'm starting to get burned out by the narrow mindedness and dogma of some if not many churchgoers.

It's unbelievable how ignorant church members can be. Their dogma and narrow mindedness can be a massive turn off, leading to resentment. I forgive people, but it still has left a bad taste in my mouth.

 

[GryffinSong]

I'm glad they've backed off a bit, and hope things continue to get better while you sort things out. Good luck!