Selena777 said:
It just seems like killing a fly with a sledgehammer to me, exchanging 1 person's problem for a set of larger, more complicated problems in a virtually irreversible situation involving 2 people. And sure it's unequal. Think of the relationship between you and your boss. You're entitled to certain rights as a human under the law, but he/she calls the shots, and no one would argue that the boss isn't your boss, even if he's/she's a really nice boss. Not better than you in every respect, but obviously regarded as more experienced or worthy in some fashion. And what problem-free relationship exists? I just don't understand why if a problem comes up, I'm somehow unqualified to solve it if I'm better equipped to do so by virtue (or folly) of my birth.
You are still taking a wrong view of what submission looks like. Check out the submission thread that I started. The Bible does not say anywhere that men make all the decisions and the woman has to comply, that's not Biblical. I know couples that practice Biblical submission where the woman runs all the finances because she is better at it. Biblical submission is not about someone else being the boss. It is about loving someone so much that you are willing to lay down your rights and your desires for someone else, also trusting that the other person will respond in the same love for you. Philippians 2:1-16 points this out. The man is placed as head of the household, not so he can boss his wife around, but because God said to him "this is my daughter and she is precious to me, I'm trusting you to take good care of her and treat her with love, honor, and respect as the daughter of the King that she is." It's not the role of a dictator, it's the role of a caretaker. A man is supposed to partner with his wife (she was given as a suitable helper) so the couple can serve God together. Neither is greater than the other. It's not the husband's role to make all the decisions, they are to work at the relationship together and share the responsibility of a family.
Submission is not an option for Christians. We are called to submit to Christ. We are called to submit to the authorities (1 Peter 2:13-25). We are called to submit to the community of believers. We are called to submit to our spouse (wife to husband AND husband to wife). To not submit is rebellion, it's what got us kicked out of the Garden of Eden in the first place. Submission is not a bad thing, I think a lot of people have taken a wrong view of it. We submit because God has called us to humility and to trust that He is in charge and will care for us. I submit to Christ because He's God and I'm not, I also trust that He knows what is better for me than I do. I submit to authorities because God put those authorities in place and I serve God by honoring those authorities. I submit to my church because God has placed them as authorities over me and I trust that God us using them to lead me, grow me, and protect me in my walk with Christ. I will submit to my wife (when I have one) because I love her, I think she's the greatest gift God has given me, and I want her to know that I love her, honor her, and respect her. When I make decisions they won't be based on what I want, but on what is best for her. I will trust her to make decisions for both of us because I trust that she is also going to make decisions based on what is best for us. I will protect her from harm as best I can, I will do what I can to provide for her in every way, I will always seek to make sure everything I do let's her know that I love her with everything I am and only God is above her in my heart. I know that I will fail at times because no relationship is perfect, but I will try my best to honor her with everything that I am.
Submission in marriage is not about anyone being in charge, but about a couple that loves each other and is willing to lay down their own lives for their love of the other.
1Cor. 13:4 ¶ Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
1Cor. 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1Cor. 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
1Cor. 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Phil. 2:1 ¶ Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,
Phil. 2:2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
Phil. 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
Phil. 2:4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Phil. 2:5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
Phil. 2:6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
Phil. 2:7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
Phil. 2:8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Phil. 2:9 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,
Phil. 2:10 so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
Phil. 2:11 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Phil. 2:12 ¶ So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling;
Phil. 2:13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
Phil. 2:14 ¶ Do all things without grumbling or disputing;
Phil. 2:15 so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,
Phil. 2:16 holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.
