Learning To Love

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• 1Pet 1:22b . . See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently

The Greek word translated "love" in that passage is agapao (ag-ap-ah'-o) which is actually a very easy love to practice because it doesn't consist of sentiments like affection and fondness; which are components of the other love in the New Testament translated from the Greek word phileo (fil-eh'-o).

Agapao is impersonal; commonly expressed in things like charity, kindness, sympathy, lenience, and tolerance; viz: agapao isn't expressed by liking people; rather, it's expressed by being nice to people, i.e. civil; defined by Webster's as adequate in courtesy and politeness: mannerly.

Anyway; 1Pet 1:22b only requires Christians to be civil, which I'm convinced is within everyone's capabilities; even for Christians whose sensitivities are those of a catcher's mitt or a wooden nickel.

A pure fervent heart refers to taking Peter's requirement seriously enough to make a determined, conscientious effort to comply with it; viz: every Christian, even the bi-polar ones, really ought to be doing their level best to be good people not just some of the time, nor even most of the time; but all the time-- at the very least among themselves and with each other.
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• 1Pet 2:1a . . Lay aside all malice

The Greek word for "malice" is kakia (kak-ee'-ah) which basically refers to badness, i.e. depravity, malignity, and trouble.

Malignity commonly describes aggressive cancers, which tend to spread and produce death or deterioration, viz: malignant people are passionately and relentlessly malevolent; defined by Webster's as having, showing, or arising from intense often vicious ill will, spite, or hatred.

Seeing as how malice is controllable; then I think it safe to conclude that there are some people whose mean-spirited behavior is by choice, i.e. deliberate.
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• 1Pet 2:1b . . Lay aside all deceit (a.k.a. guile, cunning, and duplicity)

The Greek word for "deceit" is dolos (dol'-os) which basically refers to a decoy; defined by Webster's as someone or something used to lure or lead another into a trap.

Decoys can also be used as diversions, e.g. red herrings.

Dolos also refers to trickery; defined by Webster's as the practice of crafty underhanded ingenuity to deceive or cheat, for example Gen 3:1.

A very common form of deceit is something called dissembling; which basically means to conceal one's true feelings with pretense. I think it's pretty safe to say that everybody at one time or another practices dissembling; it's pretty much a natural propensity.

Peter's instructions don't say to avoid deceit, they say to lay it aside; viz: stop it.
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[Comequickly]

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Hello; and welcome to a systematic, home-spun discipleship course suitable for all Christians regardless of denominational affiliation.

As of today's date, I'm 76 years old; and an on-going student of the Bible since 1968 via sermons, seminars, lectures, Sunday school classes, radio Bible programs, and various authors of a number of Bible-related books. Fifty-two years of training and life experience under my belt as a Christian hasn't made me a qualified authority; but at least has made me competent enough to tackle the subject of love.

Barring emergencies, accidents, vacations, unforeseen circumstances, and/or insurmountable distractions, database errors, computer crashes, black outs, brown outs, deaths in the family, Wall Street Armageddon, thread hijackers, the dog ate my homework, visiting relatives, ISIS, car repairs, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, student walk-outs, Carrington events, gasoline prices, medical issues, and/or hard luck and the forces of nature; I'm making an effort to post something different every day including Sundays and holidays.

I was once asked by an atheist why Christians have so many rules when all they need is just one: the so-called Golden Rule.

Well; for many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, broken homes, foster systems, gangs, orphanages, and/or colonies on Mars, et al; the concept of love doesn't resonate in our thinking; viz: it just bounces off us like a sonar ping because we quite literally have no points of reference in our minds to aid comprehending what Christ means by love.

● John 13:35 . . By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

We know what Hollywood and contemporary music mean by love, but many of us scarcely have a clue what Christ means by it in that verse.

I'm going thru the letters written to various churches in the Roman world a little at a time each day commenting on passages that put a face on love so we can get to know it better in order that we might learn to recognize love when we encounter it; and also how to exemplify it in our own lives so that those of us who were deprived of love growing up are not left to figure it out on our own.

Buen Camino
(Pleasant Journey)
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[Comequickly]

Hi. Love is a language that we basically didn't speak in our house, so I never learned it. I'm trying and I pray about it, but nothing. It is too late.

 

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Hi. Love is a language that we basically didn't speak in our house, so I never learned it. I'm trying and I pray about it, but nothing. It is too late.

When you get to the point where it's impossible to say please, thank you, and/or hold a door open for a senior citizen, then we'll say it's too late.

Fortunately for those of us who are love challenged, much of Christianity doesn't require us to be affectionate; mostly just to be nice; which is actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it. So keep going; don't stop at post No.1 because I think you'll be surprised at what you're already capable of and don't know it.
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• 1Pet 2:1c . . Lay aside all hypocrisy

The Greek word for "hypocrisy" is hupokrisis (hoop-ok'-ree-sis) which is a mite ambiguous. It basically refers to acting under a feigned part.

Not all hypocrisy is bad; quite a few people earn an honest living by accepting parts in movies and plays. That we can live with.

But hypocrisy in religion is insufferable; for example Mark 12:13-15, which reads like this:

"Later they sent some of the Pharisees and Herodians to Jesus to catch him in his words. They came to him and said: Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay or shouldn't we? But Jesus knew their hypocrisy."

Their inquiry was reasonable; but it was based upon a hidden agenda. They didn't care one whit about the taxes; they were only looking for a legitimate excuse to have Jesus arrested and put away where he could no longer influence public opinion.

Hypocrisy is also exemplified in double standards, for example Luke 6:41-42 and Matt 23:2-4

"And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother: Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye, when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye."

"The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things, and do not do them. And they tie up heavy loads, and lay them on men's shoulders; but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger."
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• 1Pet 2:1d. . Lay aside all envy

Webster's defines envy as painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another, coupled with a desire to possess the same advantage

There are musicians that I greatly admire for their talent and their creativity. But I don't hate them for it; no, I truly love their work, i.e. I'm a fan rather than a rival. For example; famed sessions musician Carol Kaye can lay down smooth jazz lines with an electric bass using nothing more than a flat guitar pick. I wish I could do what Carol does; at the same time wish her all the best and would sincerely like for her to continue playing and teaching forever.

But when admiration is mixed with pain and resentment, it can become ugly and extremely dangerous.

For example, it was envy that motivated Cain to murder his kid brother, and it was envy that motivated Joseph's brothers to sell him into slavery, and it was envy that motivated Jesus' opponents to have him arrested and put to death.

People prone to envy share a very common denominator: they simply must be either equal to, or better than, others. It's that simple. And if they cannot be equal to, or better than others, then nothing would make them happier than to see those others failed, maimed, silenced, disfigured, dishonored, disgraced, humiliated, handicapped for life and/or deceased.
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• 1Pet 2:1e . . Lay aside all evil speaking

The Greek word for "evil speaking" is katalalia (kat-al-al-ee'-ah) which basically means defamation; defined by Webster's as the act of communicating false statements about a person that injures their reputation.

Talking about someone behind their back counts as defamation only when the statements are untrue; especially if the statements are deliberately untrue and calculated to assassinate someone's character and/or question their good name.

"As newborn infants, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby." (1Pet 2:2)

When Christians neglect to study Peter's epistles to learn what is, and what is not, appropriate behavior for Christ's followers, they are certain to end up stunting their spiritual growth; and quite naturally retain and practice all five of the ugly behaviors listed in 1Pet 2:1; viz: malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and evil speaking.
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• 1Pet 2:17a . . Honor all men.

The Greek word translated "honor" is timao (tim-ah'-o) which basically means to prize, i.e. fix a valuation upon and/or to revere

The first place that timao shows up in the New Testament is Matt 15:4 which reads:

"God said: Honor your father and mother."

Right after the Flood, God outlawed murder; and the reason given for the ban was not because murder is necessarily wrong, but because people are made in the likeness of God. (Gen 9:5-6)

James criticizes the use of language that expresses a wish that someone be sent to hell. The reason given is not because that sort of language is necessarily wrong, but because people were made in the likeness of God. (Jas 3:8-9)

In other words; murder and cursing dishonors the likeness of God, and by extension dishonors God too.

From that I gather that failure to treat everyone with dignity-- regardless of age, race, or gender --not only dishonors men but by extension also dishonors God in whose likeness all men were made.

FAQ: Does that mean even serial killers, mass murderers, and monsters like Osama Bin Laden, Robert Mugabe, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, and crooks like Al Capone and Bernie Madoff have to be treated humanely and with dignity the same as everyone else?

A: Yes, absolutely because the honor that Peter is talking about doesn't have to be earned, merited or otherwise deserved.

Take for example Lev 19:32 which reads like this:

"Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am The Lord"

The honor required for senior citizens doesn't have to be earned, merited or otherwise deserved. The only requirement is age; and failure to dignify senior citizens is all the same as failure to dignify God.
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• 1Pet 2:17b . . love the brotherhood

The Greek word translated "brotherhood" is adelphotes (ad-el-fot'-ace) which appears in only two places in the entire New Testament; both are in the apostle Peter's epistles: one here and the other in 1Pet 5:9.

It's a curious word because it doesn't specifically refer to "the church which is his body". Adelphotes basically means a fraternity; defined by Webster's as a group of people associated or formally organized for a common purpose, interest, or pleasure; i.e. persons of the same class, profession, character, or tastes: for example leagues, guilds, societies, and trade unions.

Just to be on the safe side, assume that Peter's instructions apply to anyone and everyone identifying themselves as a Christian regardless of their denominational affiliation.

One thing to our advantage in this respect is that the Greek word for "love" in 1Pet 2:17 is impersonal, viz: it requires neither fondness nor affection; it only requires that we be humane, e.g. civil, courteous, friendly, peaceable, hospitable, sympathetic, tolerant, lenient, forgiving, charitable, and generous. In other words; we don't especially have to like everyone identifying themselves as Christians; we just have to be friendly.
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• 1Pet 3:7a . . You husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge

The Greek word for "knowledge" is gnosis (gno'-sis) which means knowing (as information) in other words: facts and/or ideas acquired by study, investigation, observation, or experience.

Gnosis is different than "intuition" which Webster's defines as: the power, or faculty, of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.

Gnosis is different than "instinct" too, which Webster's defines as: (1) a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity, (2) a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason, and (3) behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level; viz: a mental and/or emotional knee-jerk reflex.

So then, Peter is talking about husbands applying instructed knowledge of Christian social skills to their marriages.

There are young boys being brought up by macho (a.k.a. toxic) fathers teaching their sons to "control their women". Well, that might be an acceptable marriage philosophy in the home of a Muslim fundamentalist and/or a club-toting Neanderthal, but not in the home of a man passing himself off as one of Christ's followers. In a pious home, Christian husbands are neither required nor expected to tame their Christian wives seeing as how the onus is upon the wives themselves to exercise self control.

NOTE: It's required of Christ's followers to love their enemies, but it's not required to like their enemies nor is it required to always have a good opinion about them. If a man's enemies include his wife, then of course Jesus' instructions apply.

However, though a Christian husband's love for his wife need not include the elements of affection and/or fondness; the love he extends to his wife does need to include the element of benevolence, along with diplomacy; which Webster's defines as skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility, viz: tact. Benevolence is defined as the disposition to do good, i.e. kindness.
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• 1Pet 3:7b . . Give honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,

The Greek word for "honor" is time (tee-may') which means: a value, i.e. money paid.

The word for "weaker" is asthenes (as-then-ace') which means: having no strength, i.e. fragile.

And the word for "vessel" is skeuos (skyoo'-os) which can indicate anything from a soup bowl to a cardboard box; in other words: a container.

Peter isn't saying women are physically weaker than men; but that Christian husbands should exercise the same care with their wives as they would a fragile antique worth thousands of dollars like, say, a Ming vase. Nobody in their right mind handles a Ming vase like a farmer handles a 5-gallon bucket. Not that some women couldn't take that kind of handling; it's just that its unbecoming for a Christian man to lack sensitivity for his wife's feelings.

This particular assessed value isn't an intrinsic value, nor is it a deserved value either; but rather, it's a gratuitous value. In other words: Christ commands Christian husbands to categorize their wives up there with Dresden china even if she's as tough as a female cop and/or a UFC mixed martial artist the likes of Rhonda Rousey— and this is not a option; no, it's not a choice; it's an order.

Christian husbands who treat their Skil saws and their tomato plants with more care and concern than they treat their wives can just forget about associating with God on any meaningful level.

"as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1Pet 3:7c)

Note the word "together" which is quite the opposite of autonomy and/or independence.

Couples sometimes assert themselves with words like "What I do is between me and The Lord." No; not when you're married. Marriage changes everything between one's self and The Lord because people become one flesh in marriage: no longer two.
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• 1Pet 3:8a . . Finally, all of you be of one mind,

Peter’s not talking about the nerve center of a Borg-hive collective. The Greek word for "one mind" is homophron (hom-of'-rone) which means: harmonious; and this is the only place in the entire New Testament where that word appears.

Webster’s defines "harmonious" as: 1) musically concordant, 2) having the parts agreeably related; viz: congruous, and 3) marked by accord in sentiment or action.

Peter's instructions emphasize the third element-- "marked by accord in sentiment or action". Head-strong Christians, domineering Christians, and those for whom every disagreement is either an affront or an act of war to win at any cost-- those for whom the words diplomacy and tact have no meaning --of course have trouble complying with 1Pet 3:8a; that is: if they even consider it worthy of their notice.

Anyway; Peter's instructions relate to a timeless complaint that goes something like this: Why can't we all just get along?
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• 1Pet 3:8b-9 . . Have compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous; not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing.

"compassion" is from the Greek word sumpathes (soom-path-ace') which means: having a fellow-feeling; viz: sympathetic, i.e. (by implication) mutually commiserative: empathetic.

One of the meanings of commiserate is condole: like when we share someone's grief at the passing of a loved one, or their job has been outsourced to cheap labor in a foreign country, or they've lost their entire retirement fund to an unscrupulous corporation like ENRON, or their life savings to a crooked Ponzi schemer like Bernie Madoff, or when there's news from their doctor they have to begin chemo-therapy for a recently detected advanced cancer, or when the car of a single mom with limited income needs expensive repairs.

People in those predicaments are in sore need of condolences, and they are in no mood for philosophical platitudes.

The Greek word for "railing" is loidoria (loy-dor-ee'-ah) which means slander or vituperation; which Webster's defines as 1) to abuse or censure severely or abusively; viz: berate, and 2) to use harsh condemnatory language.

Rejoinders fall into that category; which are defined as a usually rude or angry reply to something written or said; viz: insensitive retorts deliberately meant to hurt people's feelings; viz: tit for tat. That kind of behavior doesn't go unnoticed.

"I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned." (Matt 12:36-37)
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• 1Pet 3:10-11 . . Let him who means to love life and see good days refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile. And let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.

Webster's defines "guile" as duplicity which is defined as: contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action; especially in the belying of one's true intentions by deceptive words or action; in other words, speaking with a forked tongue and/or saying one thing while meaning another.

Quite a bit is said in the Bible about the words people speak, whereas little to nothing is said about the words they write. That could be because so many people back in the day were illiterate. But surely one's written words have just as much voice as one's spoken words; else we couldn't justify calling the Bible the word of God.

Good and evil are here juxtaposed as benevolence vs malevolence, i.e. good will vs ill will.

To "seek peace and pursue it" is blessing-worthy.

"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." (Matt 5:9)

If it's true that only peaceable kinds of people qualify to wear the label "children of God" then the opposite is just as true: difficult Christians are unworthy of the distinction.
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• 1Pet 4:8 . . Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love hides a large number of sins.

A person easily provoked is not a loving person.

One Saturday morning I and another man at church were moving some furniture from one place to another inside the main building where, completely unknown to us, a wedding rehearsal was being conducted.

The woman in charge of organizing the wedding came out into the hall and began scolding us for talking and making noise. When I pointed out that there were no posted signs in the hallway indicating a function in progress on the other side of the door, she became sullen, and tightened her lips and narrowed her eyes in anger.

Had that lady exemplified the love about which Peter wrote, she would have handled her inconvenience with a little more tact and sensitivity, i.e. diplomacy.

BTW: That same lady was also in the choir, and sang doxologies in front of about 2,000 people every Sunday morning. She was good at musical harmony, but obviously in sore need of some training in the civil kind.
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• 1Pet 4:10 . .As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

The Greek word for "manifold" is poikilos (poy-kee'-los) which means: motley, i.e. varied in character. All that’s really saying is that the gifts of God are multifarious; viz: having a number of different aspects or characteristics. (cf. Rom 12:5-8, 1Cor 12:1-11)

Unfortunately, people with natural aptitudes generally make up the majority of those in church capacities for which is supposed to be required a spiritual gift from God. They may look like they're "on fire" for The Lord, but really all they are is ambitious.

Now, the important thing is: good stewards of the manifold grace of God use their gift not for showing off, nor for a feather in one's cap; rather, for the benefit of others.

Paul encourages gifts (1Cor 12:31) and I would ad to that by warning to exercise restraint because the Greek word translated "serving" refers to attendants, waiters, and hosts. In other words, if you're not comfortable with the thought of seeing to the needs of others, then you may not enjoy the life of someone entrusted with a spiritual gift, i.e. they're not achievements, rather, they're a serious responsibility. (1Cor 3:11-15)
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• 1Pet 5:5b . . and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

The Greek word for "humble" is tapeinophrosune (tap-i-nof-ros-oo'-nay) which means lowliness of mind; viz: modesty, which Webster's defines as freedom from conceit or vanity. Lowliness of mind is to be greatly desired for its blessing.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt 5:3)

Humility is very rare on internet forums. Active members are typically easily insulted and infected with vanity; plus imperious, domineering, despotic, assertive, confrontational, arrogant, conceited, reactive, thin-skinned, self-righteous, emotional, critical, and defensive. Those are not what I would call good Christian attributes. They also have a propensity to jump to conclusions, get the wrong impression, and fly off the handle. Those aren't good Christian attributes either; in point of fact; none of those attributes are blessing-worthy.

"Grace" is one of those ambiguous abstract nouns that nobody seems to agree upon. Noah found grace in God's eyes (Gen 6:8) which in his case, regarded providence; which can be defined as kindly patronage. It was by God's providence that Noah and his family survived the Flood while the sons of God and their harems didn't. Let that sink in. Just because people label themselves a Christian, and profess a belief in Christ, is no guarantee they'll escape the horrors of the book of Revelation. Noah was a righteous man, and perfect in his generation; too many of today's card-carrying Christians are neither.

The Greek word for "proud" is huperephanos (hoop-er-ay'-fan-os) which means appearing above others, viz: haughty. Those kinds of people typically regard others with contempt, i.e. undeserving of respect or even so much as common courtesy. Haughty people are typically cruel, thoughtless, insensitive, and badly infected with a superiority complex, which goes hand in hand with arrogance: defined as an exaggerated sense of one's importance, sometimes manifested in an overbearing manner.

Arrogant people can be intolerably pushy and assertive at times; standing up to them usually always provokes an indignant reaction and a call to arms, so to speak, because these folk regard any and all disagreements with their way of thinking as demeaning attacks upon their core values and their distorted sense of self worth. These people have very little interest in harmony; they're stand-up fighters whose primary interest is winning and/or suppressing the opposition.

Seeing as how Heaven is reputed a place of peace, then the arrogant, the haughty, and the proud cannot be allowed to go there with their unholy personalities. For sure they'd just end up making things very uncomfortable for Heaven's normally mild-mannered, affable society.
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• 1John 3:18 . . My little children, let us not love only in word or in tongue, but in deed, and in truth.

What is truth? (John 18:38)

Pilate's question was meaningful in his day because ancient philosophers perpetually discussed and debated the nature of truth without ever achieving a universal agreement about it.

Well; one of Webster's definitions of "truth" is: a state of being the case; viz: fact; which Webster's defines as the quality of being actual. In other words: truth is the way it is; viz: truth is reality as opposed to speculation, fantasy, opinion, error, inaccuracy, inexactness, theory, imagination, and false impressions, etc.

The trick to loving in truth is first of all knowing the truth.

Well to begin with; "thy word is truth" (John 17:17). So the Bible is the Christian's first choice as a source of truth relative to love.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Rom 12:2)

There are no short-cuts to the truth. The good path is according to Eph 4:11-15; viz: by teachers and preachers. I do not recommend the self-taught route. People who go that way usually end up with disinformation lodged in their heads that is not easily corrected. Beware.

"Some of Paul's comments are hard to understand, and those who are ignorant and unstable have twisted his letters around to mean something quite different from what he meant, just as they do the other parts of Scripture-- and the result is disaster for them." (2Pet 3:16)

Love in accordance with truth may at times seem very unloving to the world because it doesn't know the truth, nor does it care to know. I think a fair percentage of the world would agree with Pilate that truth is uncertain and unknowable.

The Greek word translated "deed" is ergon (er'-gon) which primarily has to do with toil as an effort or occupation; but can also imply the way people act, i.e. the things they do as opposed to the things they say. Some Christians can tell you all about love, and readily quote the classic scriptures about love, but seem utterly incapable of exemplifying any of it.
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