Large spacing between children

[heart of peace]

I am interested in hearing about those of you who waited a while after your first child to have your second child. Why did you wait and how was the dynamic [of your family] afterward? Let's put "a while" as waiting more than three years to start trying for baby #2.

 

[TCat]

Well, we did not intentionally wait for our second, we thought after having our first, and he being such a miracle in conception that we'd never have anymore. 11 years later suprise!!! Here came DD, who is now nearly 4 yrs old, the first is 15 1/2 years old.

Interesting dynamics, they still piudk at one another, tell on one another and get jealous of each other, but DS babysits, is pretty tolerant of DD and is very proud to show her off to his friends, especially girls.

Having a high schooler and a pre-schooler is fun, one is learning to drive, the other is learning to turn on lights and use the potty. Both are wonderful and in some ways it's like having two only children, we are much more leinent, tolorant and laid back with the second, she is a little spoiled.

Having two kids is great, no matter the age gap IMO.

 

[Neenie1]

My 2 are 3 y, 7 m, apart - which I know is a bit closer than what you were probably aiming at (I found out I conceived dd shortly before ds 3rd birthday) I think it was great having that age gap - perfect for us. Now that they are older (6 1/2 and 3) it's really funny watching them play, although my ds gets a little excited sometimes and forgets that she's much younger than he is and gets a little rougher than he means to. I have to watch out for that though.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Haha! This is not me but I'm simply curious.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

My two are 6 years apart. I was worried about the oldest having jealousy problems when the youngest came along. No worries there. She thinks she's his Mom. He doesn't really appreciate it, but she loves to boss him around and tell him what he can't do. They fight like cats and dogs AND they play well together. She really is a big help. Some nights she bathes him for me while I clean up the kitchen. She watches out for him when he's into something he shouldn't be. When he was a tiny baby, she brought me things that I needed - diapers, lotion, etc.

We planned to have our kids spaced out like this. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I feel like I had my 'time' with her when she was a baby and now that she's in school I have my 'time' with him.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

I don't have a second one yet, but after talking with Charlie about it..we probably won't start trying til Emily's 6 or 7 years old. Ideally I didn't want my children to be more than 3 years apart, 4 years at the very most..but things don't always turn out how you plan. I'm not worried about the age difference all that much because my sister and I are 5 years apart and we get along just fine, and I'm 10 years older than my brother..I feel more like a parent like figure to him, but we still get along. I think it just depends on how you raise your children.

 

[*YouKnowWho*]

I keep changing my mind on this subject, lol. Sometimes I want to try again ASAP, sometimes I want to wait another year or 2.

 

[CelticRose]

There are nearly 4 years between my first & my twins. We expected the larger gap to have intellectual benefits & it pretty much did. Oldest was in pre~school when the twins came along & I wasn't all that available with breastfeeding small, sickly babies. There are 6 years between my youngest & 2nd youngest, definitely not planned that way, 12 between oldest & youngest. All the older children have indulged the youngest & she is a super confident young lady & very secure. In some ways it has made her older than her years & a little precocious as she was always around older children. Having done it both ways (only 2 years between the twins & oldest daughter) there are benefits either way. The big gap does allow more one on one time, the smaller gaps encourage close sibling bonding; the bond is more like an extra parent the bigger the gap & something YDD is always saying to ODD: 'I don't need another mother; I already have one!'

 

[Leanna]

There were 11 1/2 years between my sister and I, there are advantages to it but I was always sad I didn't have someone near my "level" to play with at home which I am sure played into my decision to bring closer gaps between all my children. GL!

 

[Birbitt]

Our first two children are very close in age (16 months) and we are now trying for baby number 3....my youngest will be 4 next month. My two boys are old enough now that I think they will be able to help a bit with the baby(getting things for me, and playing with the baby), also it will be much easier to explain to them now and I'm hoping they won't be bouncing on my belly like my oldest did when I was preg with the little one. I personally think it will be easier for me with them farther apart because my older boys can do a lot more for themselves and so I'll be able to schedule around the baby..the only think I'll probably miss is being able to sleep during the day since my oldest son no longer takes naps.

 

[heart of peace]

Hello ladies,
thanks for all your replies. I'm enjoying reading through them and digesting them [mentally]. Keep 'em coming