Ladies who won't date men who drink, even on occasion

Saucy

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You're mocking me.
I'm just using your logic. If a single drink is the same as drunkenness, then a piece of cake is gluttony. Where do we draw the line on what is okay and what isn't?
 
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Citanul

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That's the same as saying I'm tempting fate by eating a slice of cake after dinner. Lord, please don't let cake be the reason why I don't make it to Heaven.

Well, lies are bad and the cake is a lie...
 
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Celticroots

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Yeah, but when I gave that argument, it was like talking to a brick wall.

Then she has no clue about what moderation is. Some Christians I've noticed hold an all or nothing attitude to some things that most would not consider big deals or sinful.That's an unrealistic view of life. That trait is a deal breaker for me.
 
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Soyeong

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Jesus also drank wine at Passover, so they are follower of someone who drank on occasion, which means that it is not something God revealed to be sin. The Bible says that it is a sin to get drunk, but does not say that it is a sin to get drunk. However, to someone who thinks it is a sin, then it becomes a sin, but they should not judge others over their opinion, and we should not use our freedoms to cause others to stumble. When I started reading your post, I suspected that she might have had a bad experience with others who drank, which you later confirmed. Alcohol has ruined countless lives and not just those who choose to drink, so I don't blame anyone for wanting nothing to do with it, even though it is permitted by the Bible, especially if they've had bad personal experiences with it. No one who starts drinking things it will be a problem for them, but sadly many are wrong. Personally, I find a woman who does not drink alcohol to be an desireable quality.
 
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Reformed2

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So here's the thing guys and gals - our enemy, Satan, roams the earth, looking for souls to devour. Spiritual warfare is very real, we must not let our guards down.
I realize that many on here get defensive about alcohol, but is it worth risking the stumble? Why be vulnerable in this fallen world? Fact, Bible says it's not wise to drink. Also fact, Bible says being drunk is a sin. Why flirt with it?
 
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kittysbecute

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I think it's important when finding a significant other to agree on values that are important. For some people it's important to agree on this, for others it might be alright to compromise on. But generally if someone thinks something is a sin that the other regularly or occasionally does... that is a legitimate deal breaker.
Beyond this, what is the point in dwelling on it? What does it matter to you what a lady from your bible study feels about alcohol consumption? Just find someone who you are compatible with and don't worry about the others.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Wow, this thread really took off! lol. I was wondering, is it even possible to find a Christian woman that doesn't have a problem dating someone that drinks on occasion? For some reason, I do. They are really nice girls, but...they are pretty steadfast on that particular deal breaker.

I ran across one woman like this, but she's married. I talked with her about this, and she said, "Yeah, I'm a bit of unicorn." She takes no issue watching mainstream, pop culture television. Her and her husband spend her time around people that do drink at a social event. They just mind their P's and Q's.

I was thinking, "Man, where was she when I was single?! lol"
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Is it uncomfortable that some people say you are sinning because you crack open a cold one?

I sometimes think there's an implication there. Like there are some Christians that won't even mingle with others that drink either. They seem as if they are coming as high and mighty to others. I'll emphasize "coming off" as high and mighty. Not saying that they ARE high and mighty, but this just a knee jerk reaction between those who drink and those who don't.

Though, completely cutting yourself off from even socializing with others that drink, in moderation, well...you might as well not even leave the house.

I don't drink that much, and I once recalled some co-worker judging me when they were three sheets to the wind. Something about, "I don't trust a man that doesn't drink" philosophy.

Not sure where they get that idea, what does trust have to do with it? They think you'll rat them out as drunkards?
 
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Citanul

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I think this could be very much down to your personal situation, as I don't seem to encounter too many Christian women who are opposed to having an occasional drink themselves, and so obviously wouldn't have a problem dating anyone who also drinks. Offhand, I can only think of one who I know for certain doesn't drink, but she certainly doesn't believe that drinking is a sin, so it's just a choice that she's made for herself and I think might be open to dating someone who drinks.

But I think you've posted elsewhere that the single women you come across tend to have already been married and often have kids. So it could be that alcohol has been a common reason contributing to those relationships breaking down, making it understandable that they might not want to date someone who drinks, even occasionally as their exes may have started out as occasional drinkers before things went south. But that suggests that the anti-alcohol stance has more to do with what's typical of relationships where you live rather than amongst Christians in general.
 
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ThisIsMe123

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Right....the woman I was talking to about this said that she liked a particular guy in the group. I met him, great and nice guy. He leads the worship service in song, too.

Then she completely discounted him because he had a drink.

Isn't that like throwing the baby out with the bathwater? But again, that's her choice, and she's sticking to it. This is no different than women who will date men no shorter than 6 feet tall. Their friends and family will tell them, "You're being too picky!!" and they won't even listen to them.
 
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Reformed2

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There are a ton of Christian women that won't date men who drink. Like entire denominations. Southern Baptist comes to mind. Church isn't for dating anyway. If it happens naturally great but that's not the primary focus.
 
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Paulie079

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Usually telling a person to lighten up on their standards is not good advice

I think there's a pretty broad middle ground here that isn't hard to find, and you aren't really there. You're leaning pretty far to one side. Drinking alcohol isn't sinful, yes, but not everything that is permissible is beneficial. Personally I have no conviction against drinking alcohol, but there are people who do. A lot of the people who have this conviction have known people whose lives have been destroyed by alcohol or by family members who became alcoholic. Can you blame them for just not wanting it to be a part of their life anymore?

Also, as human beings going from one extreme to the other is what we do. Pendulum swings abound. But we also, as human beings, look for relationships that make us feel safe, so you can't blame someone for wanting a relationship without the one thing that made the most important relationship in the world to her at the time unsafe, and not unsafe as in uncomfortable, but as in abusive.

Lastly, if I were to guess, I don't think she has a problem with a guy having a drink every once in awhile. It's when alcohol is a normal part of his life (even if it is in a healthy way) that it starts to strike that "I don't want to go back there again" chord.
 
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blackribbon

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You give a lot of power to alcohol. Yes, it causes some people to stumble....especially those that have addictive personalities or unhealthy coping techniques. However, other don't even feel it necessary to finish a glass when they are done and can easily walk away from an open alcoholic beverage. It isn't an irresistible sin for the vast majority of the population. Be careful about judging other people without knowing the facts.

That said, if someone does not want to have a life with alcohol in it, they would be wise to not date people who drink..even occasionally, because the idea of drinking causes them to stumble and become judgmental.

I am also waiting for the verse that says it is okay to drink for medicinal purposes.
 
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