knife puns

[cleanelvis]

Hey guys! I’ve had this on my mind recently, and I thought I’d ask my friends in mature singles for some help.

I need some knife puns (you heard me right)

I’ve already got:
If you're a knife dancer, does that mean you're a member of the Slice Capades?
sharpen your wits
sorry to have holed you up
shanks for the edgy jokes
I don’t like your blade-ant attempt to cut in and take a stab
that actress? Reese… reese something is sword of funny
I’m just gonna be blunt, I hope you get my point

Can you guys think of any more? I need 11 of them.

If you guys do well, I might include you on my brigadoon reference list
__________________

 

[exitstageright]

Hey guys! I’ve had this on my mind recently, and I thought I’d ask my friends in mature singles for some help.

I need some knife puns (you heard me right)

I’ve already got:
If you're a knife dancer, does that mean you're a member of the Slice Capades?
sharpen your wits
sorry to have holed you up
shanks for the edgy jokes
I don’t like your blade-ant attempt to cut in and take a stab
that actress? Reese… reese something is sword of funny
I’m just gonna be blunt, I hope you get my point

Can you guys think of any more? I need 11 of them.

If you guys do well, I might include you on my brigadoon reference list
__________________

What do you call a knife that is used on beavers?
Answer: A Beaver Cleaver

What do you call a brown knife that cuts dirt?

Answer : A Cleaveland Brown

What is the most popular knife used among friends?

Answer: A backstabber

 

[renewed21]

Wow CE this is really outta left field

 

[cleanelvis]

Thanks Exit!

Yeah it’s nice out here in left field

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I'm tired of these cutting remarks!

 

[dayhiker]

If I buy a knife, will I be as sharp as I used to be?

 

[mjmcmillan]

Slightly off-topic since this isn't a pun...

I bought a set of kitchen knives a couple of years back at the Good-Will store. The knives are really cheap in more ways than one, but they came with an excellent sharpening steel. I bought the set for the steel as much as anything.

I'm rooming in a friend's house these days, he has an excellent set of kitchen knives which he doesn't use. It, too, has a sharpening steel rod, worth almost as much as the knives themselves in my opinion. So, with some first-class kitchen hardware-- he orders take-out. Every day. Hasn't cooked in over a decade, by his own word.

 

[renewed21]

Would match-making cutlery be callled "pairing" knives?



yuck, yuck

 

[MorkandMindy]

I need to axe you if you are a knife person

 

[cleanelvis]

haha these are great! keep em coming. I’d hate for the conversation to get dull

 

[renewed21]

What did the inmate say to his cellmate after he found out he stole his toilet wine?

"shanks" a lot sucker!

 

[renewed21]

Thanks Exit!

Yeah it’s nice out here in left field

left field is fun, but I'm in the parking lot

 

[exitstageright]

left field is fun, but I'm in the parking lot

What do you call a knife that is lost?

Answer: An O.J. knife.