- Feb 25, 2003
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well, while i'm sitting here waiting for my job's computer system to come back up (grrrrrrr they sent us home before even clocking in this morning and told us to come back at 10 or maybe not at all today...) i'm going through my email and thought this was cute 
> Things we need to know before voting.
>
>JOB APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENT OF USA
> NAME: John Kerry
> RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington, D.C., worth
>multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).
> EXPERIENCE:
> Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to
>cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city
of
>Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby
>endangering my
>neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).
> MILITARY:
> I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to
>get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as
>documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four
months).
>I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war,
and
>insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities
and were
>baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals,
>ribbons,
>or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans
Against
>the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military.
I
>served in Vietnam (four months).
> COLLEGE:
> I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
>counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
>admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have
> been there ever since. I have no real world experience except
marrying
very
>rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I
>served in
>Vietnam (four months).
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
> As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting
>record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
consistently
>failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their
budgets,
>thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted
for
>the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for
it. I
>voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help
this
>country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I
>served in Vietnam (four months).
> My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
>he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions
and
>have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts,
>despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
> I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
>places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
>cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush
>for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
>Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
>Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as
it
>might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I
served in
>Vietnam (four months).
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).
> PERSONL JOB APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENT : I practice my Catholic
> faith whenever cameras are present.
>I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V
Jet
>the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel
>yacht the "Scarmouche".
>I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
culture.
>I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
>summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient
vehicles
>and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
>PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
> Things we need to know before voting.
>
>JOB APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENT OF USA
> NAME: John Kerry
> RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington, D.C., worth
>multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).
> EXPERIENCE:
> Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to
>cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city
of
>Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby
>endangering my
>neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).
> MILITARY:
> I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to
>get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as
>documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four
months).
>I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war,
and
>insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities
and were
>baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals,
>ribbons,
>or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans
Against
>the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military.
I
>served in Vietnam (four months).
> COLLEGE:
> I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
>counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get
>admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
> PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
> After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have
> been there ever since. I have no real world experience except
marrying
very
>rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I
>served in
>Vietnam (four months).
> ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
> As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting
>record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have
consistently
>failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their
budgets,
>thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted
for
>the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for
it. I
>voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help
this
>country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I
>served in Vietnam (four months).
> My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that
>he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions
and
>have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts,
>despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
> I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in
>places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the
>cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush
>for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
>Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted
>Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as
it
>might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I
served in
>Vietnam (four months).
> RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
> None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).
> PERSONL JOB APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENT : I practice my Catholic
> faith whenever cameras are present.
>I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V
Jet
>the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel
>yacht the "Scarmouche".
>I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real
culture.
>I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket
>summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient
vehicles
>and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam
(four
>months).
>PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.
