Just posting because I am board

[Jesse2014]

I don't have any questions or anything; I am just trying to keep my mind occupied.

Now some of these saying are not that funny, but like I said I am board.

Look down.

 

[Jesse2014]

Benjamin listened closely as Rabbi Greenbaum read from the Bible`

'May I ask a question?' Ben asked.

'Of course, go ahead, ask your question,' replied the Rabbi.

'Well, the Bible says that the children of Israel crossed the Red sea,' continued Ben, 'also that the children of Israel built the temple, the children of Israel did this and the children of Israel did that. Didn't the grown ups ever do anything?'

 

[Jesse2014]

Going over our church finances I found a reciept from a local paint store signed by someone named Christian. I wasn't aware of anyone buying paint. So I called the store to point out its mistake.

'I'm sorry,' I told the manager. 'But there are no Christians here at St. Mary's Church.'

 

[Jesse2014]

Little Jonny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it any more, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us leave?"

 

[Jesse2014]

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the backseat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

 

[Cute Tink]

Going over our church finances I found a reciept from a local paint store signed by someone named Christian. I wasn't aware of anyone buying paint. So I called the store to point out its mistake.

'I'm sorry,' I told the manager. 'But there are no Christians here at St. Mary's Church.'

I like it

 

[Jesse2014]

I like it

Thanks

 

[SaintJoeNow]

I don't have any questions or anything; I am just trying to keep my mind occupied.

Now some of these saying are not that funny, but like I said I am board.

Look down.

Hi Board. I'm bored, so please pardon me for asking; are you plywood board or plank lumber board? I hope you find this funny and I hope you know God loves you if you are board or knot.

 

[nick garai]

Those are funny! LOL

 

[Bobthemotorcycle]

.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I love all these cute jokes

 

[Jesse2014]

Hi Board. I'm bored, so please pardon me for asking; are you plywood board or plank lumber board? I hope you find this funny and I hope you know God loves you if you are board or knot.

lol

OK. I recognize that I spelled it wrong. I am not always good with spelling, and my device doesn't have spell check. But thank you

 

[Jesse2014]

A rich man on Earth was complaining that he had worked so hard here on Earth that he was mad because he can not take it to Heaven with him.

An Angel came to him and told the rich man that he had heard his complaints and in order to make the rich man happy that the Angel was going to give the rich man a big wheelbarrow and what ever the rich man could fit in the wheelbarrow the rich man could bring to Heaven with him.

The rich man whet home and melted down all his gold and put it all in the wheelbarrow. The day came that the rich man dies and he went to Heaven with his wheelbarrow full of money.

When the Angel at the Pearly Gates seen the rich man and what the rich man had decided to bring to heaven with him the Angel started laughing. The rich man got kind of upset and asked just what the Angel was laughing about.

About that moment the Angel yelled out really loud "Hey everybody, he brung pavement".

lol

Thank you for sharing.

 

[BlessedLYT]

Hahaha

 

[Jesse2014]

Carolyn Heap, another Sunday school teacher, said to her children, "we have been how powerful the kings and queens were in Bible times. But there is a higher power. Who can tell me what it is?

George blurted out, "I know, Aces."

 

[Jesse2014]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness; and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "so why is the groom dressed in black?"

 

[Messy]

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness; and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "so why is the groom dressed in black?"

 

[Jesse2014]

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy announced to his mother, "mom, I have decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide this?"

"Well," said the little boy. "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, then to sit and listen."

 

[Jesse2014]

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies. "I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

 

[The Outlier]

You don't have to do everything the Bible tells you to. You don't have to pray for Paul. He died a long time ago.