Just Friends

[ZACTAK]

A few months ago, I met a girl that I thought was attractive. I asked her on a date and she said yes. We went out and we both decided we were not interested in each other more than just friends. I think it was because we didn't know each other very well. After about a month, my interest in her grew back and I called her up again and asked her on a date. After the date we started hanging out a lot more. For about two months we were talking on the phone or with each other. I wanted to talk to her at the beginning of December, but I was enjoying what was going on and I didn't want it to ruin our friendship if she was only interested in me as a friend. I was also very hesitant throughout this entire time because I didn't want to cross any boundary, if she only wanted to be friends. Towards the end of December I finally told her I needed to talk to her, but the night I came over, she ended up falling asleep on the couch.

In the meantime, my best friend and Lauren had a disagreement, and so my best friend told me that Lauren is only interested in me as a friend, and she has been leading me on. On New Years Day, I told Lauren I needed to talk to her, and I headed over to her house. We talked about the past couple months for about an hour. She told me that she wanted to only be friends with me, and that for the past couple months she has been on a teeter totter on whether she was interested in me as a friend or more than just friends. I have been in the exact same boat. We also talked about how we have never really dated someone before and so we have never experienced what we had been before. It seemed that she was still interested in me with some of the things she was saying.

After I left, I realized I did have feelings for her, and I have been scared this entire time, because I have never experienced this before, and I really think that we could have a future together, although I am not 100% sure. Since New Years Day, I only saw her once, and I didn't say anything to her when I did. I talked to a friend of mine who majored in sociology and psychology in school, and she told me that if Lauren misses me, she would call me within a week. The night before last, she called me at 1:30 in the morning, and we ended up talking about random things for about 45 minutes. We were supposed to hang out last night, but she has come down with the flu. We are shooting for Monday, because I am leaving for a week to see my family on Tuesday. When I hang out with Lauren, do I talk to her about us again, do I just act as though nothing is going on and be her friend, or do I treat her as though I am still interested in her? Thanks. God bless.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

I wouldn't bring it up again, just continue to be her friend, and pray for guidance. Whenever two people of the opposite sex spend mass amounts of time together feelings start to develop, you have two choices, one ignore what she said and continues to spend as much time as you can with her hoping she will develop stronger feelings for you. Or you can pull back a little bit, let her think. Your friend is right, if she misses you she will make contact. There are a couple of old sayings, absence makes the heart grow founder, and it does if the feelings are already there. Also if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was. I am not saying you should cut her off completely, but maybe slow down a bit. Always bringing up the two of you could scare her off. Let God take care of the situation, He knows who is in your future, and He will let her know if it is her.

 

[peanutbutter12]

First off, my personal belief is that if the person shows no interest, it's better to just walk away than persue it because you will be leading yourself into a lot of heartache and pain more often than not and you will continue to hope and pray some fantasy that sometime they will change their heart. Even if they do someday, there will always be that strain of trying to do things exactly right so you hope she will never change her mind again.

Personally, I would let well enough alone with the relationship thing with this girl. Sometimes, most times, that can be a very hard thing to do. But shes made it clear now twice that she just wants a friendship from you. If you continue trying to persue, you will end up hurt.

CJ

 

[seamonster]

I wouldn't bring it up. Just concentrate on having fun and let things happen naturally.

 

[ZACTAK]

Well, we are supposed to hang out later tonight, and things haven't gone as planned. I was just going to go with the flow and see where it took me, but when we were text messaging each other back and forth tonight, she asked if I wanted it to be a date, and eventually it came around to me telling her I still had feelings for her. The good thing is that she said she might too

 

[seamonster]

awesome
I hope everything goes well tonight!

 

[melandshanetria]

You haven't updated us and let us know how things went, but I say let nature take its course. Let God direct the pathway for the both of you. The best of God's blessings to you and I pray that everything went okay for you two.

~Minister Shanetria

 

[ZACTAK]

I thought I might update you guys... we hung out the other night, and it went really well. We both had a really good time, and we were actually a lot more flirty with each other than usual. I went home for a few days this past week so we talked on the phone and text messages during the week... we are supposed to hang out again tomorrow, so we will see how things go