Jokes

[Will Joseph]

Share a joke, whether it's good or bad.

Hepatitis is the worst virus. It forces us to learn the alphabet.

And herpes answered, saying, My name is Lesion, for we are many.

Syphilis can cause paralysis. It's lame.

A sailor finally decided to name a new sea, "the Hepatitis Sea." He really wanted the word to spread.

A man with poor memory had an old cat that died. He was very sad because he forgot its name within a week. So he got a new cat and gave it a name that would never leave him: "Herpes."

Liver had the worst college professor, Hepatitis. Liver failed.

What do Scabies and Herpes have in common? They both are always itching for a fight.

Scabies makes a great bug collection.

The best way to disclose herpes is to go to a thanksgiving dinner with your mother's signature cooked peas and shout, "I have her peas!"

If disease is a gift, then HIV is the gift that keeps on giving.

I asked my brother about whom I should marry. He suggested either Herpes or Syphilis. Herpes never leaves its spouse. And Syphilis goes for the heart.

Syphilis can cause insanity. That's crazy.

 

[Warden_of_the_Storm]

What's a pigeons favourite political action?

Coup.

 

[Will Joseph]

Human papillomavirus runs a lottery. The prize is cancer.

Neurosyphilis gets on your nerves.

HIV is being sued for racism. It keeps targeting white blood cells.

 

[Sif]

Latin Teacher: What is 4,000 in Roman numerals?
Me (thinking): mmmm....
Latin Teacher: Well done!

 

[Sif]

I'm really worried about the calendar. Its days are numbered.

 

[Will Joseph]

A village decided to eat one of their members alive as part of a cannibalistic ritual. The sacrifice had Hepatitis. Big mistake.

Love is blind. Its eyes got infected by Herpes.

 

[Overthehill]

A pastor had a sermon with 27 points in the morning and many people did not enjoy the sermon because it was to long with too many points. This pastor then did a pointless sermon in the evening.

 

[Will Joseph]

My golden retriever contracted herpes. My dog barked the terms of the contract.

It was called lovesick. In modern times, it's called Gonorrhea.

 

[Will Joseph]

A martian's hand went up Herpes' thighs without consent. Every day since then, Herpes has been going up, down, and all around that hand without consent.

Hepatitis is a killer pizza courier: it always gets an extra dollar for not spitting in the pizza.

Syphilis always acts kind for a kiss: it kills with kindness.

 

[VMaeLove]

Where does a King keep his Armys?

In his Sleevys.