Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

Xavier Cane said:

When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life.

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Breaking with sin does not give you peace or joy. It's the opposite. Health hurts a lot. After that, you are a sinless person.
It's the opposite. Health hurts a lot. After that, you are a sinless person.

I'm in the same situation as you and same age. Sin having control over me my whole life and having no purpose or motivation in life for anything. God actually has been more gracious to you then me giving you a wife and children you love while I have nothing and no one going through everyday on autopilot hoping I don't have an anxiety attack. I too desire to be free from what plagues me making life hellish every minute such as severe depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety I recently developed, and of course sin. I have cried out to God many times and still have all these ailments since I was a child. I still don't curse God for not delivering me and believe he has a purpose for me because:

1. These could have been roadblocks saving me from being even more sinful and suffering worse consequences (Sexual disease, abortion of a child, death, etc.). One example is any kind of stimulate from hard stuff to caffeine gives me an anxiety attack. This stopped my drug usage where An overdose didn't (I should actually be dead right now)

2. God isn't obligated to ease any of your suffering. Some people get relieved quickly while others don't at all. Even someone of high status like Paul had a thorn in his side he desperately pleaded to be delivered from, but wasn't.

3. It may take a long time. Even though it doesn't have to do with sin, God called Moses when he was 80 years old. The same could happen regarding sin/suffering.

Many examples in the Old Testament such as Job, David's depression in psalms, etc.. Maybe you are just a vessel of wrath to fuel the fires of hell, but don't throw in the towel out of a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction with God's timing/actions. I don't know about you, but when I completely lived in sin without delay it made my crappy life even worse and all I wanted to do was off myself. God has atleast given me peace of mind from those thoughts.

Being a believer is hard.

You mentioned drugs maybe would AA be helpful? Sometimes we need help with addictions because we're not strong enough by ourselves. Sometimes if its embedded enough that the enemy has set up a stronghold in our life to reside in that might need deliverance to get rid of it.

Thing is try not to give up on God because if it is help and deliverance you need God is the only one who can do that.

I know a deliverance guy who is normal down to earth who God used to free me from some stuff i thought would never be gone. If you would like to talk to him sometime pm me.

I picked up salvation in exact methods as did George Clark Rankin over 100 years before me. And along with the man I will cry, "I have never ceased to thank God for that autumnal day in the long ago when my name was registered in the Lamb's Book of Life." Quoting the full testimony of George Clark Rankin...

"Grandfather was kind to me and considerate of me, yet he was strict with me. I worked along with him in the field when the weather was agreeable and when it was inclement I helped him in his hatter's shop, for the Civil War was in progress and he had returned at odd times to hatmaking. It was my business in the shop to stretch foxskins and coonskins across a wood-horse and with a knife, made for that purpose, pluck the hair from the fur. I despise the odor of foxskins and coonskins to this good day. He had me to walk two miles every Sunday to Dandridge to Church service and Sunday-school, rain or shine, wet or dry, cold or hot; yet he had fat horses standing in his stable. But he was such a blue-stocking Presbyterian that he never allowed a bridle to go on a horse's head on Sunday. The beasts had to have a day of rest. Old Doctor Minnis was the pastor, and he was the dryest and most interminable preacher I ever heard in my life. He would stand motionless and read his sermons from manuscript for one hour and a half at a time and sometimes longer. Grandfather would sit and never take his eyes off of him, except to glance at me to keep me quiet. It was torture to me." - George Clark Rankin

Then he got it good in the Methodist church in Georgia...

...Quote...

After the team had been fed and we had been to supper we put the mules to the wagon, filled it with chairs and we were off to the meeting. When we reached the locality it was about dark and the people were assembling. Their horses and wagons filled up the cleared spaces and the singing was already in progress. My uncle and his family went well up toward the front, but I dropped into a seat well to the rear. It was an old-fashioned Church, ancient in appearance, oblong in shape and unpretentious. It was situated in a grove about one hundred yards from the road. It was lighted with old tallow-dip candles furnished by the neighbors. It was not a prepossessing-looking place, but it was soon crowded and evidently there was a great deal of interest. A cadaverous-looking man stood up in front with a tuning fork and raised and led the songs. There were a few prayers and the minister came in with his saddlebags and entered the pulpit. He was the Rev. W. H. Heath, the circuit rider. His prayer impressed me with his earnestness and there were many amens to it in the audience. I do not remember his text, but it was a typical revival sermon, full of unction and power.

At its close he invited penitents to the altar and a great many young people flocked to it and bowed for prayer. Many of them became very much affected and they cried out distressingly for mercy. It had a strange effect on me. It made me nervous and I wanted to retire. Directly my uncle came back to me, put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I did not want to be religious. I told him that I had always had that desire, that mother had brought me up that way, and really I did not know anything else. Then he wanted to know if I had ever professed religion. I hardly understood what he meant and did not answer him. He changed his question and asked me if I had ever been to the altar for prayer, and I answered him in the negative. Then he earnestly besought me to let him take me up to the altar and join the others in being prayed for. It really embarrassed me and I hardly knew what to say to him. He spoke to me of my mother and said that when she was a little girl she went to the altar and that Christ accepted her and she had been a good Christian all these years. That touched me in a tender spot, for mother always did do what was right; and then I was far away from her and wanted to see her. Oh, if she were there to tell me what to do!

By and by I yielded to his entreaty and he led forward to the altar. The minister took me by the hand and spoke tenderly to me as I knelt at the altar. I had gone more out of sympathy than conviction, and I did not know what to do after I bowed there. The others were praying aloud and now and then one would rise shoutingly happy and make the old building ring with his glad praise. It was a novel experience to me. I did not know what to pray for, neither did I know what to expect if I did pray. I spent the most of the hour wondering why I was there and what it all meant. No one explained anything to me. Once in awhile some good old brother or sister would pass my way, strike me on the back and tell me to look up and believe and the blessing would come. But that was not encouraging to me. In fact, it sounded like nonsense and the noise was distracting me. Even in my crude way of thinking I had an idea that religion was a sensible thing and that people ought to become religious intelligently and without all that hurrah. I presume that my ideas were the result of the Presbyterian training given to me by old grandfather. By and by my knees grew tired and the skin was nearly rubbed off my elbows. I thought the service never would close, and when it did conclude with the benediction I heaved a sigh of relief. That was my first experience at the mourner's bench.

As we drove home I did not have much to say, but I listened attentively to the conversation between my uncle and his wife. They were greatly impressed with the meeting, and they spoke first of this one and that one who had "come through" and what a change it would make in the community, as many of them were bad boys. As we were putting up the team my uncle spoke very encouragingly to me; he was delighted with the step I had taken and he pleaded with me not to turn back, but to press on until I found the pearl of great price. He knew my mother would be very happy over the start I had made. Before going to sleep I fell into a train of thought, though I was tired and exhausted. I wondered why I had gone to that altar and what I had gained by it. I felt no special conviction and had received no special impression, but then if my mother had started that way there must be something in it, for she always did what was right. I silently lifted my heart to God in prayer for conviction and guidance. I knew how to pray, for I had come up through prayer, but not the mourner's bench sort. So I determined to continue to attend the meeting and keep on going to the altar until I got religion.

Early the next morning I was up and in a serious frame of mind. I went with the other hands to the cottonfield and at noon I slipped off in the barn and prayed. But the more I thought of the way those young people were moved in the meeting and with what glad hearts they had shouted their praises to God the more it puzzled and confused me. I could not feel the conviction that they had and my heart did not feel melted and tender. I was callous and unmoved in feeling and my distress on account of sin was nothing like theirs. I did not understand my own state of mind and heart. It troubled me, for by this time I really wanted to have an experience like theirs.

When evening came I was ready for Church service and was glad to go. It required no urging. Another large crowd was present and the preacher was as earnest as ever. I did not give much heed to the sermon. In fact, I do not recall a word of it. I was anxious for him to conclude and give me a chance to go to the altar. I had gotten it into my head that there was some real virtue in the mourner's bench; and when the time came I was one of the first to prostrate myself before the altar in prayer. Many others did likewise. Two or three good people at intervals knelt by me and spoke encouragingly to me, but they did not help me. Their talks were mere exhortations to earnestness and faith, but there was no explanation of faith, neither was there any light thrown upon my mind and heart. I wrought myself up into tears and cries for help, but the whole situation was dark and I hardly knew why I cried, or what was the trouble with me. Now and then others would arise from the altar in an ecstasy of joy, but there was no joy for me. When the service closed I was discouraged and felt that maybe I was too hardhearted and the good Spirit could do nothing for me.

After we went home I tossed on the bed before going to sleep and wondered why God did not do for me what he had done for mother and what he was doing in that meeting for those young people at the altar. I could not understand it. But I resolved to keep on trying, and so dropped off to sleep. The next day I had about the same experience and at night saw no change in my condition. And so for several nights I repeated the same distressing experience. The meeting took on such interest that a day service was adopted along with the night exercises, and we attended that also. And one morning while I bowed at the altar in a very disturbed state of mind Brother Tyson, a good local preacher and the father of Rev. J. F. Tyson, now of the Central Conference, sat down by me and, putting his hand on my shoulder, said to me: "Now I want you to sit up awhile and let's talk this matter over quietly. I am sure that you are in earnest, for you have been coming to this altar night after night for several days. I want to ask you a few simple questions." And the following questions were asked and answered:

"My son, do you not love God?"

"I cannot remember when I did not love him."

"Do you believe on his Son, Jesus Christ?"

"I have always believed on Christ. My mother taught me that from my earliest recollection."

"Do you accept him as your Savior?"

"I certainly do, and have always done so."

"Can you think of any sin that is between you and the Savior?"

"No, sir; for I have never committed any bad sins."

"Do you love everybody?"

"Well, I love nearly everybody, but I have no ill-will toward any one. An old man did me a wrong not long ago and I acted ugly toward him, but I do not care to injure him."

"Can you forgive him?"

"Yes, if he wanted me to."

"But, down in your heart, can you wish him well?"

"Yes, sir; I can do that."

"Well, now let me say to you that if you love God, if you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior from sin and if you love your fellowmen and intend by God's help to lead a religious life, that's all there is to religion. In fact, that is all I know about it."

Then he repeated several passages of Scriptures to me proving his assertions. I thought a moment and said to him: "But I do not feel like these young people who have been getting religion night after night. I cannot get happy like them. I do not feel like shouting."

The good man looked at me and smiled and said: "Ah, that's your trouble. You have been trying to feel like them. Now you are not them; you are yourself. You have your own quiet disposition and you are not turned like them. They are excitable and blustery like they are. They give way to their feelings. That's all right, but feeling is not religion. Religion is faith and life. If you have violent feeling with it, all good and well, but if you have faith and not much feeling, why the feeling will take care of itself. To love God and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, turning away from all sin, and living a godly life, is the substance of true religion."

That was new to me, yet it had been my state of mind from childhood. For I remembered that away back in my early life, when the old preacher held services in my grandmother's house one day and opened the door of the Church, I went forward and gave him my hand. He was to receive me into full membership at the end of six months' probation, but he let it pass out of his mind and failed to attend to it.

As I sat there that morning listening to the earnest exhortation of the good man my tears ceased, my distress left me, light broke in upon my mind, my heart grew joyous, and before I knew just what I was doing I was going all around shaking hands with everybody, and my confusion and darkness disappeared and a great burden rolled off my spirit. I felt exactly like I did when I was a little boy around my mother's knee when she told of Jesus and God and Heaven. It made my heart thrill then, and the same old experience returned to me in that old country Church that beautiful September morning down in old North Georgia.

As we returned home the sun shone brighter, the birds sang sweeter and the autumn-time looked richer than ever before. My heart was light and my spirit buoyant. I had anchored my soul in the haven of rest, and there was not a ripple upon the current of my joy. That night there was no service and after supper I walked out under the great old pine trees and held communion with God. I thought of mother, and home, and Heaven.

I at once gave my name to the preacher for membership in the Church, and the following Sunday morning, along with many others, he received me into full membership in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. It was one of the most delightful days in my recollection. It was the third Sunday in September, 1866, and those Church vows became a living principle in my heart and life. During these forty-five long years, with their alternations of sunshine and shadow, daylight and darkness, success and failure, rejoicing and weeping, fears within and fightings without, I have never ceased to thank God for that autumnal day in the long ago when my name was registered in the Lamb's Book of Life.

.../Quote...

Xavier Cane said:

to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

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Somebody lied to you. I can imagine you got tired of trying to be perfect but you'll never achieve that on earth. It isn't about what you get. It is about what you give. Give time to someone who needs your help. Give blessings to those with less. Give your heart to help the broken. Pick up a shovel and dig a hole for a new building. Paint an old ladies house in the name of Christ. Stop being selfish with your salvation.

I'm no good with words, but these two verses are important.

Bible Gateway passage: Romans 5:3-5 - New International Version

Bible Gateway passage: James 1:13 - King James Version

Xavier Cane said:

Can a person practice sin in their life and still be saved? I think not.

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Someone already quoted Paul who was practicing sin that he didn't want to. He certainly was saved and this shows your theory is wrong. Look at Solomon who practiced many sins throughout his life and he was saved.

Xavier Cane said:

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

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First... you are rejecting a false idea of Jesus... not Jesus.

This is the end result of the doctrine of perfection... or the Isaiah 14:14 doctrine.

You are trading your birthright for soup!

Perfect here on earth?

What of “His Grace is sufficient”... and “His power is perfected in weakness”!

David surrendered to God as a wretched man!

You, sir, are too prideful to accept that you are a sinner and bound to be one until death!

You have been loved as you are!!! (While you are a sinner). Romans!

You sound hardened by the false doctrine of carnal perfection! You are afraid to accept that you are a sinner only healed by His wounds and the FREE Gift of eternal life!

Hate me for saying this... but you are so focused on yourself.., and being perfect that you are ditching the one WHO LOVES you as the sinner you are!

This is exactly why the flesh focus gospel is a Satanic distortion of Truth!

Jesus said... “Only God is Good”.., and “You who are EVIL”...

Puff up with pride and write your rejection swan song! You know He’s real and you know what you are doing.

No fake kindness here! How many did you lie to that they should be sowing to their flesh! You’ve locked up the Kingdom for many and now you're locking it up for yourself!

You’re so selfish that you won’t go back and fix the chaos you’ve caused and are cowardly bailing out and pulling others down with you!

How dare you Isaiah 14:14 and blame HIM WHO loves you more deeply than any other!

How dare you blame your sin on HIM!

Brother... do you really want to become sinnless here or spend eternity sinnless with Jesus?!?

Be honest... because I’m thankful you are honest enough to confess your sins to us! I’m a sinner too and He loves me still!

I admit that I am imperfect and am awaiting my inheritance upon death.

Read footsteps brother!!! He’s carrying you In His loving arms and crying at your pain as you wrote this!



God is not and never has been a battering spouse... demanding perfection!

It depends on His Goodness... not yours...

BROTHER!!! Please open your spiritual eyes and lay those flesh eyes to sleep! HE LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE!

Please don’t let go! Please don’t let the lies lead you astray! He is always there with you!!!! Even Now! Please come back to HIM!!! Don’t let the devil’s pride and false promises of perfection lead you astray! Spit the fruit of Condemnation out!

Come back to Christ my dear friend!!!

Please! Love is growing cold now and Jerusalem is becoming prophetic at this very time! Zechariah 14 and Joel 3’s foundations are nearing!

Wickedness of a Loveless and Law based world without mercy or care is taking over! The Love that laid HIS life down for HIS friends... (John 3:16) is being forgotten!

Please! Soldier!!! We need you! Jesus needs you!

The warriors that are weak in and of themselves but Exodus 14:14 are the strongest!

Come back!!!!

Honestly... you’ve ruined my night... broaken my heart and angered me at the “Save Your Skin” Gospel! I’m seriously broaken by this post and broaken in my heart for you!

I’m a fool! My words are probably worthless to you.., :_(

dqhall said:

Fasting may change your weight, but not your attitude. I was delivered from smoking, alcoholism, drug use and promiscuity by the Good Lord. I cannot curse Jesus. When I was hungry and poor, God led me to eat regular meals and to earn my food by the sweat of my brow.

I was in my early 20's and picking apples in WV for a wealthy orchard owner. I was not drinking any alcohol. My coworkers liked to drink alcohol. Some of them were critical of a local convenience store that did not sell alcohol. They told me it as a Christian store. There was one man who drank beer night and day. One morning we were on our ladders working. He loudly proclaimed, "I want to go to hell because there is no alcohol in heaven." A short time later someone said. Will Patton is dead. It was a shock. There was no evidence anyone touched him. God has given me direction many times. Even though I am not perfect, I can be thankful for the goodness I have received. Some lost people perish without knowing the goodness of Christ. Jesus is better than the Bible. After years of study, I found the New Covenant is not the same as the Old Testament Law.

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Jesus is better than the bible? I dont get it

Xavier Cane said:

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

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I can hear your frustration and your disappointment. I can see that you did try to be rid of your sin and strive to live a pleasing life to God. Have you ever tried not trying? What I mean is to submit your life to God and let Him govern your life instead of making efforts your way.
It is true that we are no longer slaves of sin after we have crucified our old self with Christ and become dead to sin (Romans 6:6-7). However, that is by no means the magic pill that can give us the ability to overcome sin infinitely and once and for all without needing Christ any more. We can still face temptation and are bound to fail if we rely on ourselves instead of relying on Christ. There is only one way to overcome sin - that is to walk by the Spirit:


Walking by the Spirit is relying on the Holy Spirit moment by moment, taking every baby step according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It requires giving up our pride, seeing ourselves as inadequate and humbling ourselves to surrender ourselves to God totally.

Christfan said:

I'm in the same situation as you and same age. Sin having control over me my whole life and having no purpose or motivation in life for anything. God actually has been more gracious to you then me giving you a wife and children you love while I have nothing and no one going through everyday on autopilot hoping I don't have an anxiety attack. I too desire to be free from what plagues me making life hellish every minute such as severe depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety I recently developed, and of course sin. I have cried out to God many times and still have all these ailments since I was a child. I still don't curse God for not delivering me and believe he has a purpose for me because:

1. These could have been roadblocks saving me from being even more sinful and suffering worse consequences (Sexual disease, abortion of a child, death, etc.). One example is any kind of stimulate from hard stuff to caffeine gives me an anxiety attack. This stopped my drug usage where An overdose didn't (I should actually be dead right now)

2. God isn't obligated to ease any of your suffering. Some people get relieved quickly while others don't at all. Even someone of high status like Paul had a thorn in his side he desperately pleaded to be delivered from, but wasn't.

3. It may take a long time. Even though it doesn't have to do with sin, God called Moses when he was 80 years old. The same could happen regarding sin/suffering.

Many examples in the Old Testament such as Job, David's depression in psalms, etc.. Maybe you are just a vessel of wrath to fuel the fires of hell, but don't throw in the towel out of a sense of entitlement and dissatisfaction with God's timing/actions. I don't know about you, but when I completely lived in sin without delay it made my crappy life even worse and all I wanted to do was off myself. God has atleast given me peace of mind from those thoughts.

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Hey thanks for posting an honest testimony, it was moving as I share many of your thoughts in regard to trying not to have anxiety attacks and struggling with depression. It's the world, it's not us. It's a place on the verge of implosion, everyone can feel the tension building in the air whether they know it or not.

We're ready to go home, and this place cannot contain us much longer. We all just need to sit back and realize sometimes what it truly is that's causing our anxieties, the forces of evil at work all around and sometimes through us. They will only get worse by the day, until He comes back. Someone said this is warfare, and we should pray. Let's get on it

What you say can apply to any believer in Christ. The thing I realized is that those most depressed are usually the ones better off then most other people. You see people in real distress have no time to be distracted by their emotions. I suggest you stop the self pity since it only leads us to being ungrateful and defeatist. In your case your still fairly young and have a family so it’s your responsibility to be the man. Even if you sin God isn’t going to abandon you. The important thing is to have patience since by it we can please God through our trustful faith. I believe that our sanctification is synergistic and ongoing process meaning that both the believer and God must be involved in some sort of ratio. Does it mean that all our worldly desires will be gone? No. Tastes change but desires remain. Remember even Jesus was tempted but he never gave into the temptation. Overindulgence in your sin will only cause you to more regret and will not satisfy your real need like only Jesus can. I too am a sinner and need to break free but I still pray hoping one day I can overcome all sin.

yeah I hear ya,

I tried the religion thing too and it didn't work for me and it left me frustrated. then I actually got saved and things totally changed. it's not something I did, but something the LORD did and is continuing to do.

may the LORD show mercy to you in granting you repentance and faith for salvation.

Xavier Cane said:

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

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I'm not going to imitate Job's comforters and offer you the benefit of any wisdom I might have. You have as much access to wisdom as I do, anyway. But I pray that God will bring you His peace. That has been what He has brought to me.

Xavier Cane said:

Protestant, not raised in the church. I made the decision to follow Jesus on my own.

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Are you saying that you are not a member of any church? Because you can't actually follow Jesus "all on your lonesome."

Praying for you Jeremiah.

Grip Docility said:

First... you are rejecting a false idea of Jesus... not Jesus.

This is the end result of the doctrine of perfection... or the Isaiah 14:14 doctrine.

You are trading your birthright for soup!

Perfect here on earth?

What of “His Grace is sufficient”... and “His power is perfected in weakness”!

David surrendered to God as a wretched man!

You, sir, are too prideful to accept that you are a sinner and bound to be one until death!

You have been loved as you are!!! (While you are a sinner). Romans!

You sound hardened by the false doctrine of carnal perfection! You are afraid to accept that you are a sinner only healed by His wounds and the FREE Gift of eternal life!

Hate me for saying this... but you are so focused on yourself.., and being perfect that you are ditching the one WHO LOVES you as the sinner you are!

This is exactly why the flesh focus gospel is a Satanic distortion of Truth!

Jesus said... “Only God is Good”.., and “You who are EVIL”...

Puff up with pride and write your rejection swan song! You know He’s real and you know what you are doing.

No fake kindness here! How many did you lie to that they should be sowing to their flesh! You’ve locked up the Kingdom for many and now you're locking it up for yourself!

You’re so selfish that you won’t go back and fix the chaos you’ve caused and are cowardly bailing out and pulling others down with you!

How dare you Isaiah 14:14 and blame HIM WHO loves you more deeply than any other!

How dare you blame your sin on HIM!

Brother... do you really want to become sinnless here or spend eternity sinnless with Jesus?!?

Be honest... because I’m thankful you are honest enough to confess your sins to us! I’m a sinner too and He loves me still!

I admit that I am imperfect and am awaiting my inheritance upon death.

Read footsteps brother!!! He’s carrying you In His loving arms and crying at your pain as you wrote this!

God is not and never has been a battering spouse... demanding perfection!

It depends on His Goodness... not yours...

BROTHER!!! Please open your spiritual eyes and lay those flesh eyes to sleep! HE LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE!

Please don’t let go! Please don’t let the lies lead you astray! He is always there with you!!!! Even Now! Please come back to HIM!!! Don’t let the devil’s pride and false promises of perfection lead you astray! Spit the fruit of Condemnation out!

Come back to Christ my dear friend!!!

Please! Love is growing cold now and Jerusalem is becoming prophetic at this very time! Zechariah 14 and Joel 3’s foundations are nearing!

Wickedness of a Loveless and Law based world without mercy or care is taking over! The Love that laid HIS life down for HIS friends... (John 3:16) is being forgotten!

Please! Soldier!!! We need you! Jesus needs you!

The warriors that are weak in and of themselves but Exodus 14:14 are the strongest!

Come back!!!!

Honestly... you’ve ruined my night... broaken my heart and angered me at the “Save Your Skin” Gospel! I’m seriously broaken by this post and broaken in my heart for you!

I’m a fool! My words are probably worthless to you.., :_(

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Your words may fall on deaf ears with this one, but I promise that you have touched others with an example of pushing false testimony and the embracing of ones pride aside. God bless you. I hope you get caught up on your sleep because you were right on the mark with your comments. As all of us pray for this "back slider" it makes me wonder if he is "blaspheming against the Holy Ghost." I have never quite figured that out entirely but if so, that would be sad.

Mark 3:28-30 King James Version (KJV)
28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
30 Because they said, He hath an unclean spirit.

Xavier Cane said:

I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.

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Nope, that's the worse choice you've ever made declaring you're turning against Jesus.

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. Matt 12:37

Be as the prodigal son who recognized his craziness and foolishness, repent, ask God's forgiveness and get yourself right with God.

Xavier Cane said:

I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

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Sorry don't have much patience with people saying they did everything they were supposed to do! It comes across as a kid doing the dishes and not getting them clean and when told they've got to go back and try harder and DO IT RIGHT they walk away whining like a baby!

Bobber said:

Nope, that's the worse choice you've ever made declaring you're turning against Jesus.

For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. Matt 12:37

Be as the prodigal son who recognized his craziness and foolishness, repent, ask God's forgiveness and get yourself right with God.


Sorry don't have much patience with people saying they did everything they were supposed to do! It comes across as a kid doing the dishes and not getting them clean and when told they've got to go back and try harder and DO IT RIGHT they walk away whining like a baby!

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You just took me back to my days in the service. It wasn't about going through the motions. It was about having the maturity and caring enough to know what you should do because it is the right thing to do and if you do it joyfully the end result is a job well done and a happy countenance.