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Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

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Sketcher

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I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.
In other words, you hate your sin, yet you refuse to go to the only one who can possibly liberate you from your sin?

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose.
He gave me a purpose, to do the good works he had prepared in advance for me to do (Eph 2:10). This is a universal mandate; I don't know how you missed it.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life.
Why?

I drive for Uber on weekends. Well, this one night, I was about to go have sex with my FWB, but I prayed and prayed, and while driving, I decided to not do it...I had a choice...I could have Ubered all night, or I could have went to go see my friend. That night, I did won that temptation, and it was hard as ever.. but guess what, it did not make me feel good, or happy, or victorious. And guess what...the next time....I failed. lol. See. its all BS. I have to do this all on my own, without the help of God. Its pretty pathetic actually.
Do you blame God for your lack of self-control? Or only yourself?
 
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Kaon

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I tell God everything, even why I tend to hate him and not trust him. I tell him how I feel and ask him why he has not set me free from the many sins that continue to stay in my life. I am not talking about small things or big things, I am talking about everything. I am just as lustful and angry as I was years ago. I ask God to allow me to rest in his grace for my life...but then at that moment, sin takes an even stronger hold it seems, and I am more motivated to sin than before. I ask God why this is...and I get no answer. Adult conversations with God is all I have had, yet I am still doomed.

I wouldn't say you get no answer; we have the same spiritual Father, and likewise with other people on here, so you are getting some answers. I wouldn't personally waste my time on other people talking about God unless 1) they asked, and 2) I am compelled by Him to do so.

You cover both.

As far as your situation now, I understand that you aren't asking for vain things, and that fact is also what contributes to you misunderstanding God's hand (or lack there of) in this. Essentially, He hasn't left you; since you made the adult decision to want Him, He is making sure (i.e. testing you) to make sure that He is what you actually want. So, sometimes He moves away and lets us perform under pressure and stress of this spiritual war. But, that is for our enrichment. If you are His:

He never left you. He will never leave you.
He loves you.
He is a Father, and you are His child: He is raising Children of God, and so those children must grow without "Daddy" always being there.

Prayer (communication) with God must always occur - no matter how much you believe He is allegedly ignoring you.

Fellowship with your spiritual brothers and sisters (especially those of us who have been through similar things) is paramount to a tangible witness of what our Father is doing to, with and in you.

In other words, keep doing what you are doing and don't get tired of doing the right thing.

the proof of salvation has to be freedom from sin. Right?

Absolutely not. That is an exploitation tactic used by the Enemy to keep you discouraged, so that you will give up and sin even more (since you *cant get it right*.) It is a big-time deception.

Even God says that the tree that bares no fruit is cut down, and there is no fruit in my life.

100% correct. The vine follows all of the commandments of the Most High God. The Fruit must do the same if they want the same Father as Christ.

Why the apparent dichotomy between obedience and lack of perfection? There is no dichotomy or contradiction. We have to put on new vessels to contain perfection. God does not expect you to be absolutely perfect, but He does expect you to respond to His methods of sanctification.

If you sinned once, by universal Law you must die. That is why anyone who says they are not a sinner is a LIAR. But, we are expected to be perfect, and while we are carnal it is incredible practice to be sanctified in flesh. That way, when we receive perfection, it won't be a struggle to maintain it.


Adam and Eve didn't know what they had, so they were able to lose it.
 
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GTW27

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In the world today, there are two types of Christians. There are those that are about Christ Jesus, and there are those that are in Christ Jesus. In the end of the matter, there will be those that stand on His left, and those that stand on His right. My suggestion to you, is to lay it all down before Him and start over. It is really simple. You see, if you do this, you will receive The Holy Spirit. And when He enters in, all other spirits must exit(Including the spirit of lust). No one, that is born from above, could have spoken the words you have spoken on this board. So while it is true, you have wasted 15 years, perhaps The Lord has been waiting longer than that, for you. Waiting for you to truly come to Him. If you do this, you will Know instantly, the Lover of your soul.
 
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aiki

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You hit the nail on the head....but here is the thing...God has not done that. If he had, I would be free from the sins that dominate me on a daily basis. I am not dead to sin, and sin is very much alive in me.

And this tendency we have to go with what our experience is rather than with what God says is one of the reasons Christians must "walk by faith." Until you give God's truth priority over what your experience is, you will never experience that truth in your daily living. Being "dead to sin" does not mean you have no sin nature; it means you are separated from its controlling power. Sin's power over you is broken but its presence, its destructive impulses, won't be totally eradicated until you enter eternity. In any case, I think the following lesson from a Discipleship Course that I teach at my church might be of help to you:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.
4 For the weapons of our warfare
are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,
5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,


For the Christian, there are three basic – and vital - elements to victorious Christian living:

1). The Word of Truth:

Psalms 119:11
11 Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You!

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)
16 All Scripture
is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.


Ephesians 6:17
17 And take...the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;


Holy Scripture is vital in the fight against temptation and sin. King David was not mistaken when he drew a direct connection between an intimate knowledge of God's Word and success in avoiding sin. Scripture was Jesus' first line of defense when Satan tempted him in the wilderness (Matt. 4:1-11). Every time he was tempted, Jesus said the same thing: "It is written..." The Word of God tells you what is true about God, about you - and about sin. Scripture exposes Satan's lying temptations for what they are and pierces through them with the truth which sets us free. The Bible is the sole offensive weapon God has given us in the spiritual armor we are to wear each day. We must, if we are to have any victory over the Enemy and the “law of sin in our members” (Ro. 7:23), follow God's commands to memorize His word (Ps. 119:11; Prov. 3:1-3; Col. 3:16a), meditate upon it (Ps. 1; 119:48; Phil. 4:8), and obey it (Matt. 7:21; Ja. 2:26)!

2). The Power of God:

You cannot be "holy as God is holy" in your own strength. In fact, God doesn't want you to try to be holy, He wants you to let Him be holy in and through you. Your job is to get out of His way, to submit to His will and way and be a vessel that He can use (2 Ti. 2:19-21). No amount of Bible memorization or quoting of Scripture in the midst of temptation will help you if you aren't living in full submission to God. Satan and/or the impulses of our own flesh cannot be properly and effectively resisted from a position of independence from God. We must first submit to God and then we are in the right place to resist the devil.

Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

Romans 6:12-13
12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in the lusts thereof.
13 Neither yield you your members
as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

Romans 12:1

1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

James 4:6-7
6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble."
7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from yo
u.

Christ described being his disciple in terms of a branch on a vine (Jn. 15:4, 5). He said that a branch, so long as it stays connected to the vine, will bear fruit. The branch doesn't have to fight and strain to do so, however; it doesn't grip the vine with all its might and quiver with the strain of sucking the sap out of it; it doesn't work hard to force fruit from itself. No, all that is required of the branch is that it remain in intimate and continual connection with the vine. And as it does, the life-giving, fruit-producing sap of the vine flows into the branch, enlarging it and producing its fruit through the branch.

A believer who is abiding in the Vine, who is living in constant, conscious surrender to, and union with, Christ, is one in whom the flow of the transforming power of God moves unimpeded. Such a person will find victory over sin a natural and inevitable consequence of their submitted communion with God.

3). The Armor of Righteousness:

Sin cuts us off from the power and full fellowship of God. (Ps. 34:16; Isa. 59:2; Ja. 4:4) If you don't keep short accounts with God, you will soon find yourself spiritually weak and easy prey for temptation. When you sin, as soon as you sin, confess it (1Jn. 1:9) and move on. You are running a race of sorts spiritually. Does a runner who wants to finish the race well, perhaps to win it, bemoan his situation and remain down when he has fallen? Absolutely not! There is no time to waste in a race! He gets right back up and continues to run. And so must the believer who has fallen into sin. Consider the apostle Paul's words:

Hebrews 12:1
1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing
I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.


Too often, believers think they must grieve their sin and condemn themselves before God so that He will forgive them; they must show themselves, by the degree of their upset over their sin, worthy of God's forgiveness. But this is to attempt to earn God's forgiveness and thus to contribute to the perfect atoning work of Christ on the cross! Certainly, a believer ought to feel sorrow over their sin (Ja. 4:8-10), but never with the view to making themselves thereby worthy of God's forgiveness. “Jesus paid it all,” the old hymn says; there is nothing that remains for us to do to obtain God's forgiveness. And so, when we sin, we confess it to God so that the forgiveness that is already ours in Christ may be applied to us. Having done so, all that remains is to resume the “race” and “press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

The Bottom Line:

Although there are three factors that have been emphasized as vital to living in victory over sin, they all rest upon what Paul explains in his letter to the Philippians:

Philippians 2:13
13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

It is because the believer has been indwelt by the Holy Spirit and by him made both willing and able to do God's will that the believer hungers for the word of God, and desires to submit to the will and way of God, and is eager to keep short accounts with Him. It is because the believer has been indwelt by the Holy Spirit that these desires may be positively acted upon. The Holy Spirit is the power source of the Christian life, working in and through the believer to fulfill God's will His way. There is, then, no genuinely born-again child of God who cannot live a victorious Christian life. It is their spiritual birthright and ought increasingly to be the daily experience of every true disciple of Christ.

Jude 1:24-25
24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, And to present you faultless Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
25 To God our Savior, Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty, Dominion and power, Both now and forever. Amen.
 
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ToBeLoved

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Is satan under Gods control? Was he under Gods control when he rebelled? Come on. Let's get real. God is not in control of anything. and if he is, then he really is a tyrant.
The devil has already been judged and found guilty. He will burn in the Lake of Fire when Jesus returns. It’s not yet time.

So that means God’s a wimp?
 
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Dave G.

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My prayer is that this man finds a local pastor or strong Christian ( or that they find him) who can help get him delivered and finally really reborn of the Spirit. I pray this in the name of Jesus, that this arrangement will come to pass, how ever it is that our Lord arranges it and that it happens as sure as I'm typing this. Amen.
 
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Mountainmanbob

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I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

Jesus told us that we would have troubles here, it seems you're having a few.

You mentioned having a wife and children. We often read on this board of ones that would love to have just a little taste of that but, never have.

Keeping it simple and thanking God each and every day for our many blessings maybe where it starts?

M-Bob
 
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Lily of Valleys

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It might. It is the only time I ever get any rest from sin, is when I curse God, and blame him for not keeping his word. That is the only time I get any peace. Thank you very much. I am a devil.
You are not a devil, you are just believing in the lies the devil has been telling you.

Until you realize the deception from the devil by having faith in what God tells you through the scripture, you are giving the devil a foothold to have influence in your life and that will stop you from being delivered from your habitual sins. How strong that influence is depends on how much you believe in the devil. The devil only has grounds to stay as long as you believe in his lies.
 
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Xavier Cane

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Since a child, I have prayed unto God. I’m so sorry for the things I have said. I repent of it all, I turn to God and I agree with God, I surrender my life to Jesus Christ. I said to Him that I would trust him until I died, and I have broken many promises to God, and even in this, I tried to back out. Thank God for the God within me, truly, He keeps me moving forward. Thus, I have made up yet again in my mind, that I will trust in the Lord, no matter what comes, and no matter what goes, I will trust in the Lord, who has always been the helper and friend and comforter of my life. I would not know how to live this life without communion with God; it’s the darkest place I’ve ever been, and yet in spite of all of my sin and shortcomings, he looks at me without sin, because I am in Christ, by baptism into his death, and I am His workmanship, and the good work that He began in me, He will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ, and God cannot lie. What a wonderful savior. Oh God, before you, and before these people whom I have offended and openly caused you shame. Please forgive me, and let these people forgive me. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord!

Man of sorrows what name,

For the sun of God who came,

Ruined sinners to reclaim,

Hallelujah, What a Savior.


Hopeless vile and helps we

Spotless Lamb of God was He

Full atonement, can it be!!!

Hallelujah, What a Savior!


He was lifted up to die

It is finished was his cry

Now in heaven exalted high

Oh Glory to God Hallelujah

What a Savior!
 
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st831

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I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.


It sounds like you may be going through depression. Depression is essentially the living as if one is an athiest--and this is terribly taxing on a Child of God. I would suggest a counselor. I have been through this. I do not believe you really feel that way because you said you were just "venting."

POWER OF SIN
First, James 5:16 says that we should confess that we sin to each other. That means that we do not reach perfection.

POWER OF GODS GRACE
2 Cor 12, Paul talks about having a "thorn in the flesh" that kept him from being boastful in his faith. But God answered Him back that "God's grace is sufficient" that means that Jesus blood can cover our infirmities.

YOU CAN'T EARN THE POWER OF GOD
Acts 8 talks about Simon who wanted the power of God to heal people so he offered the disciples money. Nothing God gives is earned. It is through grace, mercy, the Holy Spirit and Jesus blood that we can even be called the Sons of God.

QUIT TRYING
By that, I mean...instead of trying not to sin, fill your life with His word. Because the more you tell yourself not to sin, you are actually thinking about sinning. Instead, fill your life and mind with His word and the things you KNOW are TRUE. Like the life, death and resurrection of Jesus and what that means for us eternally. Phillipians 4:8

BE CAREFUL THE WORDS YOU USE
[2Ti 2:12-14 KJV] 12...if we deny [him], he also will deny us: 13 If we believe not, [yet] he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. 14 Of these things put [them] in remembrance, charging [them] before the Lord that they strive not about words to no profit, [but] to the subverting of the hearers.

HAVE FAITH.
What you are going through is part of your Journy, but never doubt the love, mercy and redeeming power of JESUS.
 
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Kenny'sID

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to me it means that the power of the sinful nature is broken and no longer has power over the believer.
This is supposed to happen the moment one makes Jesus their Lord. So they say, but it does not.

Your problem is with whoever told you that's how it works, as well as with yourself for waiting that long for someone to do what we ourselves have to do.

In short, you have to so that yourself.

Don't we all wish God would make it that easy. Now start over and do it right this time....please :)

Curious, where did you get that idea from?
 
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Grip Docility

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Since a child, I have prayed unto God. I’m so sorry for the things I have said. I repent of it all, I turn to God and I agree with God, I surrender my life to Jesus Christ. I said to Him that I would trust him until I died, and I have broken many promises to God, and even in this, I tried to back out. Thank God for the God within me, truly, He keeps me moving forward. Thus, I have made up yet again in my mind, that I will trust in the Lord, no matter what comes, and no matter what goes, I will trust in the Lord, who has always been the helper and friend and comforter of my life. I would not know how to live this life without communion with God; it’s the darkest place I’ve ever been, and yet in spite of all of my sin and shortcomings, he looks at me without sin, because I am in Christ, by baptism into his death, and I am His workmanship, and the good work that He began in me, He will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ, and God cannot lie. What a wonderful savior. Oh God, before you, and before these people whom I have offended and openly caused you shame. Please forgive me, and let these people forgive me. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord!

Man of sorrows what name,

For the sun of God who came,

Ruined sinners to reclaim,

Hallelujah, What a Savior.


Hopeless vile and helps we

Spotless Lamb of God was He

Full atonement, can it be!!!

Hallelujah, What a Savior!


He was lifted up to die

It is finished was his cry

Now in heaven exalted high

Oh Glory to God Hallelujah

What a Savior!

Amen! Forget the lottery... Of all prayers in my heart... this is the most significant one!

So thankful for your Love for Him and His Love for you!

All Of His Love to you, Brother in Him!!!!

2 Timothy 2:13 :D

Perfect Love Casts out ALL fear!!! Fear not... Brother and Friend... Forgivness is Yours... By Him above all... and... if it matters... I forgive you for being so darn hard on yourself... <3 :)
 
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needhugs

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i used to be a militant atheist... then i ended up severely demonized because of how evil i was to God... i've been demonized since the 90's and saved by Jesus since July 1st, 2001... but Jesus did not take away the demonic problem... over the years i have angrily tried to leave Christianity many times. but there is no other name under heaven by which we may be saved... you can try looking, but it's always one Name.
there's a scripture somewhere that says 'the wicked are not convinced by virtue'... it's true, coz years ago i answered an alter call and was filled with His love and joy, but i went home and got in a fight with my husband, and said 'this Christianity stuff doesn't work!' and threw it all away for NOTHING... so God had to deal with me with demons... i do not recommend making God deal with you that way. i recommend that you try to smarten up. just sayin'
 
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discipler7

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I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made,...
Fyi, a Christian's every life-changing decision should be guided by the Law/commandments/Word of God.

JOHN.6: = 63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

EPHESIANS.6:17 = and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;

ACTS.15: = 19 Therefore I judge that we should not trouble those from among the Gentiles who are turning to God, 20 but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood.
(Gentile Christians are only required by God to keep laws that do not trouble them. They should keep morality laws, eg the Ten Commandments at EXODUS.20. They are exempt from circumcision, kosher food laws, etc.)
 
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Joy

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