Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

annemk · May 14, 2018

Don't give up! You're never going to be sinless as long as you live, non of us will. If you can't feel the holy spirit, then pray for it. God fulfills his promises and he is merciful. Very, Very, merciful. Not sure what you expect to happen in your life, but whatever you are seeking, sounds like it is a spiritual issue, but we do have certain limitations. But with God, all things are possible. He is not deceitful in any way. God is not a deceiver. Jesus was not a deceiver, he was real and he spoke 100 percent the truth.
If there is a certain sin in your life that is really holding you back then you need to just get rid of it, completely. and God WILL change you and he will make it so you no longer desire it. When we step out in faith and do what is right, God helps us, he carries us. He makes it easy on us to overcome it, he wants us to be saved and not go to hell, but you have to show faith sometimes and make that 1st step toward him. But don't give up. You don't want to go to hell. & ask for forgiveness.

ToBeLoved · May 14, 2018

Good point. The struggle is real our entire lives.

But God is always walking with us.

dqhall · May 14, 2018

Fasting may change your weight, but not your attitude. I was delivered from smoking, alcoholism, drug use and promiscuity by the Good Lord. I cannot curse Jesus. When I was hungry and poor, God led me to eat regular meals and to earn my food by the sweat of my brow.

I was in my early 20's and picking apples in WV for a wealthy orchard owner. I was not drinking any alcohol. My coworkers liked to drink alcohol. Some of them were critical of a local convenience store that did not sell alcohol. They told me it as a Christian store. There was one man who drank beer night and day. One morning we were on our ladders working. He loudly proclaimed, "I want to go to hell because there is no alcohol in heaven." A short time later someone said. Will Patton is dead. It was a shock. There was no evidence anyone touched him. God has given me direction many times. Even though I am not perfect, I can be thankful for the goodness I have received. Some lost people perish without knowing the goodness of Christ. Jesus is better than the Bible. After years of study, I found the New Covenant is not the same as the Old Testament Law.

Oloyedelove · May 14, 2018

Maybe I should tell you what the Lord taught me. He showed me hope. I have been reading the epistles but I never saw hope. He made me see Christianity is faith, hope and love. Some teach faith and love, others teach hope and love but the truth of the scripture is faith, hope and love.
Hebrews 6:18 That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us: 6:19 Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;

Hope is the anchor of the believers soul, it's what keeps us in place. When you understand the hope of salvation everything changes in your life. Read through the book of Hebrews and hopefully you will understand what am saying. Hebrews 12 showed us how the Lord lived, WHO FOR THE JOY SET BEFORE HIM, ENDURED THE CROSS...
Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 12:3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 12:4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

We have been taught the scripture with little emphasis on what the resurrection will accomplish in us. But if u read 1Cor 15 you will see Paul said the reason he is doing all he is doing is because of the resurrection.
1 Corinthians 15:30 And why stand we in jeopardy every hour? 15:31 I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our LORD, I die daily. 15:32 If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and drink; for to morrow we die.

The joy of the believer is the beauty we will experience when Christ comes. It's this joy that keeps us going and living victoriously. In Revelation when the Lord wrote a letter to the churches, did you see the things he said to them, he said those that overcomes will receive the crown of life, will receive a white stone, etc those things are to make them long for that which is beyond what the world can offer. Since the encounter I had, I have always asked myself what I will give in exchange for seeing the face of my Lord, what will i give in exchange for seeing the glory of God, what will I give in exchange for receiving the crown of life, the answer has been nothing.
I don't know how the Lord does it, but pondering on this things releases in me a strength I can not fathom.
Pls kindly read the whole book of Hebrews you will see more. You will understand what Paul mean when he says WE WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT. Check Paul's prayer for the Ephesians in chapter of Ephesians.

☦Marius☦ · May 14, 2018

Many will disagree with how I choose to respond to this, because it will be recommending a certain brand of the faith, but I am going to speak none the less.

Your post could have come strait from my lips a few years ago OP. In fact your style of speaking is very similar to mine as well.

I was brought up Baptist, taught in the faith my one of the most faithful women I've ever known, my grandmother. She spent all my childhood teaching me the Bible in the Baptist way, and teaching me what morality was.

Unfortunately I became an addict to masturbation, and later hardcore porn around 12. All I wanted was to be free of it, but I was completely unable to no matter what family or my pastor would recommend. I would work myself up to try to love Jesus more. I would listen to emotional Christian music, read emotional Biblical passages, or watch emotional Christian movies. I would bring myself to the point of tears, only to later that day be right back where I was in front of a computer screen, or hiding somewhere in my house sinning against my Body and God.

Around 15 I didn't really believe in God. I started experimenting with other religion. I started out with Wiccanism, which is paganism reconstructed. At the same time I started trying to watch the most horrific content I could find online (gore) to try to desensitize myself to guilt. My thinking was that if I got used to sin, it wouldn't bother me. I blamed my upbringing for "brainwashing me" into thinking morally. I cursed at God and Christ frequently, because it felt good, and because I believed they were choosing not to help me.

This continued for several years, with me becoming darker and darker in thought. I tried Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Gnosticism, Kabbalic practice, Self initiation into many occult though streams. I started leaning towards atheism and focusing on UFOs and the like. I was truly lost, and truly hated everyone around me, especially my family. My porn tastes were getting horrifying, as I had been watching porn, and gory movies for so long that the two started to mix. I can't even express how hopeless I was. All I wanted to do was die. And I thought God wasn't helping. At this time I was enlisted in the marines (pre deployment), and my Father offered to pay for me to go to Word of Life Bible institute in Florida. It was a Baptist Mission college. While I was down there I grew even further away from the faith because the professors could not answer my questions. In fact they were making what I saw to be flaws in the faith more apparent, when in reality they were merely flaws in interpretation.

I had to leave WOL because my Dad didn't actually have the money for me to go, and to be honest I was back on Atheism, and watching porn in my dorms right next to my fellow students who were trying to study the Bible. They weren't asking the same questions I was asking, but some of them were struggling with other things.

I enlisted in the Navy. Was going to be a nuclear engineer making 100k a year working in submarines if all went to plan. It did not. In basic training many things happened with my fellow recruits that eventually led me to a complete mental breakdown both in myself, and several others in my division.

I tried to kill myself as best I could one night in the compartment. I failed.

I had to spend 3 months on base and a few weeks in the mental ward before I was cleared to return home. During this time I was absolutely hopeless. I had nothing. No formal education, no ability to re enlist, no future. For years I had been praying for God to show me answers, for truth. I would be in physical agony sometimes because of the stress of it.

It was when I was at my lowest God revealed to me what I now believe to be true.

I was put in a working party on base. We were told to do work since we were rejects with no other use for the military except grunt work. They had us moving chairs in the Chapel, when I was told to grab some chairs in the Orthodox Chapel. As soon as I walked in my life started to change. What I saw before me was a very basic setup for Orthodox worship, but it immediately drew my interest. I went to a service that week and the service was the most genuine thing I had ever experienced in my life.

There was no emotional music, no passionate preaching, no showing off, or promises of change. It was me, the Priest, and two others. Performing one of the most ancient Christian services ever. The Orthodox Liturgy is both a song and a prayer. It is one long prayer sung between the People and the priest. A call and response. The singing wasn't pretty, but it was the most genuine thing I had ever experienced in my life. I talked to the priest afterward, and he gave me some books that I could read while on base. In learning about the Orthodox Faith I was exposed to something that I had never even considered before. Something so foreign to me, yet its interpretation of Scripture made more sense than anything ever. Why? Because the Orthodox Church is the oldest church in the World. They do not change their doctrine to try not to be one way (As protestants often base their beliefs on trying NOT to be Catholic), they didn't go over the top with power and worshiping things that were not God (Such as the Roman Catholic Church). No. They had a belief completely archaic.

I spent 3 years before converting trying to question the faith in every way I could find. I took every position the Church held, and looked at whether or not it worked alongside scripture, and they did. There was no twisting of words to suit a theological hole. The faith was already complete.

And during this time I was learning the Orthodox Way of dealing with sin. A church with 2000 years of wise men, both monastic, and non, giving genuine teachings about how to not sin.

Many here will tell you you do not need to overcome sin, that you should not worry about it, that it is hopeless, and that you only need to have faith. This IS SATANS GREATEST LIE.
Christ said "Go and be perfect", James said "Faith without works is dead".

The Orthodox Church had genuine teachings about how to start to rid your life of sin, and since I have converted, they have helped me immensely. I am joining a monastery in a few weeks, because I crave more time to work on my own sin, and to study the teachings of the Bible, and the Church- but I urge you to look into the Apostolic teachings, the teachings of the Desert fathers, and how they looked at sin.

My favorite book of all time is this

If you can read one book to help yourself do it. I can't say it will fix all your problems on its own, as it has to be applied, but if you genuinely want a place to start to change- I believe this is a good spot to help you. It is one of the most profound and easy to read books I have ever touched.

Best of wishes to you. I thought for years God didn't want to help me. That he was torturing me. But he was allowing me to see the full consequences of my sin, and the ends that they brought. I am so happy I went through the pain I have been through. As now that I am making progress I fully appreciate the change, and the faith I have been shown. For it is true, and I 100% believe that the Orthodox way of approaching sin is the ONLY way we can hope to grow to be Christ like.

Lord Jesus Christ have mercy apon me a sinner.

☦Marius☦ · May 14, 2018

These two videos are on monastic thought, but monastics are just professional ascetics. Their ideas and faith can be applied to anyone. I recommend watching these and seeing if you can pull anything from them.

Dave G. · May 14, 2018

You're allowing it to dominate, in fact inviting it in. You basically are shutting the Holy Spirit out through your own free choice ( you're quenching the Holy Spirit). You like the sin, you want to sin so you sin. You know you do have accountability in this. You're acting in childish selfishness by the sounds of it. Not judging but that's how your posts are coming off to me. You aren't giving God a chance to work in your life, you just do what you want in spite of Him.

zoidar · May 14, 2018

Sometimes venting is needed. I think that it's important to understand that we don't follow Jesus to receive anything. He gave his life for us, we are to give our lives to him. So don't follow to receive his Spirit or anything like that, not even to get freedom from sins. Follow him like a gift you give him. You give your life to him and you expect nothing in return.

Maybe you should pray to God and tell him you can't defeat sin, that you can't live as Jesus says we should and your done without him. It's hard to know exactly what's going on in your heart. I understand your frustration of course. But like I said try to follow not to receive but to give. And trust in the mercy of God. He died for you and he loves you.

Hidden In Him · May 14, 2018

I'm not saying it in a condemning way, Xavier, but this is your pride speaking, which is precisely WHY He doesn't deliver us from our sins and our sinful nature.

klutedavid · May 14, 2018

You love Jesus and that's why your here asking questions and venting your frustration. I am glad that you can see your sin and admit that your flesh is evil, amen to that. If you claimed that you had no sin or that your flesh was dead, then I would be very concerned. Anyone who claims they have no sin is a liar, and the truth is not in them.

I believe the problem rests in not correctly understanding the difference, between living in the Spirit and living in the flesh.
All Christians living in the flesh are enemies of God, all Christians living in the Spirit are loved by God.

The flesh is characterized by self centered behavior, the Spirit is characterized by loving others. A preoccupation with one's own sinfulness and we are all profound sinners, is a waste of God's time and your time.

To be a perfect Christian is someone who loves Jesus and loves others, it is as simple as that. If you turn outward towards helping others, all your cares will disappear. People will even start to see you as a really nice guy, a trustworthy and loving person.
Christianity is an outward focused religion, God is love and demonstrated perfect love in dying for you. What God did was an outward expression directed at you, the perfect example.

Focus on yourself and your own life and you will lose it all in the end. You know that and you have no where to hide. Jesus did not die to make you sinless, Jesus died to reconcile you to Himself.

You are already reconciled and seated in the heavenly realms with Jesus. Stop thinking about yourself and your tedious failings, which we all have and some of us are worse than you. Start living the wonder and joy of our eternal life in Jesus Christ!

Kaon · May 14, 2018

k So likely now you will start to have adult conversations with him.

If you tell Him everything you told us, this may be your first adult conversation. He is destroying the weak, pathetic image of Him that has been created by the society you grew up in (i.e. the world.) Even if you don't believe you are worldly, you are - because you expect something from a god, you see?

I had to respectfully get to this point before my Father actually started taking me seriously. It was like I was older, but spiritually I was still a silly kid that had confused my idea of the Most High God with adult versions of an image. He was my idol, which is why He was so disappointing to me. I didn't see Him as my Father.

Since you have nothing to lose, respecfully rant to Him. What parent doesn't expect, or understand their child's bold but respectful approach to them and how they handle things? You are in the Image of the Most High God - that means you have the authority to say, "What is going on, Father?!" You also have the authority as His child to ask/tell Him everything you told us.

He may just be waiting for you to actually speak to Him like a Father, and not in incantations (i.e. don't just call Dad when you need money.) I am speculating; I don't know what you are doing besides what you have posted. But, I do know My Father finally began entertaining what I had to say, and what I asked, when I finally told Him, "I'M DONE!"

paul1149 · May 14, 2018

There is another dimension to this, which has only been alluded to. Some sins are more deeply embedded than others, and take a long time to root out. Look at what Paul writes in Romans 6.14:

For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

There are two aspects to this. The obvious one first, we are promised ultimate victory over sin. The second is harder to latch onto, but if you do there is great power in it. Even before we have manifest victory over sin, it still does not have dominion over us in the spirit. How can this be? Paul goes on to describe how in Rom 7 and 8. He struggles against sin, but the more he struggles the worse he becomes. Finally, he is in utter despair. And what happens then? He discovers the grace of our Lord Jesus.

Grace is given before it is deserved. By definition, it cannot be earned. Christ gives us salvation up-front, independent of our works, based solely on the merits of His atonement, and our sincere request for salvation.

Simply put, you can still be in sin, but be saved. It all depends on your heart. Your flesh can still say, "that felt good", but as long as your spirit bears witness to the truth, and you haven't willfully shut it down, you can "go boldly to the throne of grace for help in time of need" - heb 13.

Paul says that apart from Christ Jesus there is no good in us. So if we are keeping score - whether to condemn ourselves or to boast in our accomplishments - we are opposing the grace of God by implying we don't need the Cross. Simply put, in Christ you have no right to judge yourself, because even if you haven't broken free from sin yet, Christ does not judge you. If you walk away now, you commit an unforced error.

The answer is to, even in your inability to overcome the sin, cling to Christ. Remember His invitation to rest:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Mt 11.28

There is no need to walk away. If you do, you will do grave harm to yourself and your family. Far better to accept the grace of the Lord, which is an extension of His love, from which we cannot be separated. In due time, you will have the victory, for in His love is our strength - His power is perfected in our weakness (2Cor 12). But even if you were never to see the victory, God forbid, His love abides as long as you remain His.

Sanoy · May 14, 2018

So am I, it eats me up inside and cripples to my core. Part of me truly is a slave to sin but not my will. Every Christian on these forums is a slave to sin in varying degrees of servitude. That only goes away when we die. Our sinful nature, to some extent, will always be a part of this body. Because of my sinful nature I can only rely on God's grace. Apart from pure grace there is no other hope that can even enter my mind for salvation. And so my faith grows, because faith is trusting in God's promises to us, in His promise to save us from death. If I were morally perfect I would have no longer have any opportunity for faith in Christ.

You are simply in the wilderness. What you need to learn is to let go, and let God be responsible for your salvation rather than your power of will.

Willing-heart · May 14, 2018

Sometimes I don’t know whether to pray for God to deliver me or for his grace to empower me. One thing is for sure, his grace is sufficient for me. For in my weakness, I am strong through Christ who gives me strength. Stop focusing on your weaknesses and focus on God. God loves you, and His Son Jesus died to save you.

Deal with Sin!

Defeating Addiction

The Times · May 14, 2018

Have you been baptised by immersion in water?

When Christian Orthodox do this they immerse three times, in declaring we are buried (dead) with Christ, that is the Old Man (Romans 6:6-13) is dead.

The question arises did you declare yourself dead with Christ, by following what Jesus instructed, that is in baptizing in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit?

aiki · May 14, 2018

If you're a born-again believer, the moment you were spiritually-regenerated the power of sin was broken in your life. So, you've been asking God to give you what you already have. Read Romans 6. What God has done through Christ to free you from sin's power is laid out very clearly by the apostle Paul in the chapter. What remains is for you to believe it and live in the light of your death to sin.

You wrote:

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

Why, if you doubt God's love for you, would you seek Him in every decision, and fast, and work to be sensitive to His leading? What do you think God's leading ought to look like? Has He not told you all you need to know to walk well with Him in His word? Are there not commands, and principles, and wisdom that you can apply to every part of life and to every decision you face in the pages of your Bible? Yes, there are. If you want to be led of God, read and live out the truth of Scripture.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NKJV)
16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,
17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

JacksBratt · May 14, 2018

So, you have been waiting all these years for God to stop you from sinning or the urge to sin?
Same for me...... Guess I'll dump on Him too.

Really? You still have your free will... He's not going to make you a robot....

Get over yourself and take responsibility for your actions. Show me where it says that following Christ is a bed of roses and all clouds and harp music.....

Your salvation is a free gift... Your desire to be righteous comes with that...

Seems like you still have that desire to be righteous... without sin.... but you want God to do that for you.....

Sheesh... wish your little dream world was reality.. I struggle with sin every day but... I'm getting better every day and when I die.... I will be forgiven for all the times I failed....

gideon123 · May 14, 2018

Dear OP

you managed to state your viewpoint without malice to anyone. that was an honest statement of your personal views.

Please remember ... you can always have a change of heart, right up until your last breath in this world. Though you may reject Christ now ... He does not reject you.

I think that Jesus was very honest with people. "Anyone who wants to follow me, must pick up their own cross and follow me." What could possibly be easy about that? It is a recipe for a difficult journey in this world. Jesus is both candid and clear about that. The disciples and followers were stoned to death, crucified, and exiled. Where is the 'happy ending'? Where is the American dream? Nowhere to be seen ... in the Earthly realm. But that is because we cannot see the final spiritual outcome - that is hidden from our eyes now.

If you think about your doubts and decision to reject Christ ... I believe that you will realize ... you stopped daily readings of the Bible a long time ago. When you departed from God's word with a daily connection, you began your own journey into the wilderness.

I have seen others do this. Strong believers, missionaries ... turn their backs on God. some people do turn their backs on the Light. I expect that many more Christians will do this in the future. There are so many 'weeds' on life's path, people get completely lost and distracted.

But remember ...
God loves you!!!
The Door is still open, and you - The Prodigal Son - can still come back and sit at the table with Christ. I will pray that you do.

Blessings!!

MMDave3 · May 14, 2018

You're human. You'll sin. You'll never be perfect. So don't worry about it. Maybe look to Christ as someone to aspire to emulate, but understand that none of us will ever be without sin. It sounds like you've put yourself through the wringer over this. Who is the "they" you speak of when you mention being closer to Jesus? Don't worry about "they". Having doubts is only natural, and I won't sit here and pretend like I've lived the life of a pious saint. I've drifted and lost my faith, but I have found it again and am better for it. Don't put yourself under so much pressure. And hang in there. Life has ups and downs, and I believe faith does as well.

aiki · May 14, 2018

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