I'm having some real trouble accepting all of my new beliefs, as it means I have to admit I made mistakes and ask to be forgiven, but those mistakes led to me having my 2 children, and I don't think I will ever be able to apologize for having them.
If anyone has any advice for me, I will happily take it on board.
You have some very right beliefs, however you are beating yourself up too much on these past mistakes. The devil will do that to you.
Hold fast to the following words, day and night:
'Judge not and
you will not be judged.'
'Do not condemn and
you will not be condemned.'
'I am not concerned if others judge me. I do not even judge myself, not that I consider myself already perfect, but one thing I do do is press forward always, putting the past behind me, straining for the goal.' (A paraphrase of what Paul said.)
These are things to grasp and remember whenever you feel a sense of unforgiveness.
Anytime you find yourself holding anything against anyone, or condemning or judging anyone, drop it, and remember these verses. Anytime you feel a sense of condemnation or judgment, of confusion or lack of faith about sins being forgiven, consider these verses and drop anything against anyone you may have left.
Trust in the words of Jesus, of God.
Forget the past and move on.
You were dead, you were asleep: now you are coming alive, through the renewing of the mind and heart by the Spirit.
You were not, now you are.
If you sinned much, now you may love much. Cling to that and seek for more of the Kingdom of God in your heart, for the peace and joy of great ecstasy, of terrific heights which comes only by grace through the Spirit.
Those times when one may simply sit, when one feels goodness without needing a thing.
There is no sin in having your children. But your children were not born of sin. I hate that language some use. Your children were formed by God in the womb. Like everyone you were "not", now you are: Yet your children "are" already.
Children are alive, they only die when they reach adulthood and fall into sin.
It is like this: All are born with life, made in the Image of God, who IS Life, The Life... but the wicked world breaks and kills that life from them. So they die while "living" in the world. They go asleep. Life becomes as a dream, all too often, a nightmare.
But now that you are saved, your children are saved for your sake, as the Scripture says, and you have the heart to pray that God keep them on the right path.
So, do not confuse your past mistakes with your children.
No child is ever a mistake.
And stop beating yourself up over your past. That is a trap of the devil to make you feel defeated and not have you living in peace, joy, and love.
Live in forgiveness.
And you are right about the Pope.
Stay with Jesus, keep His words in your heart, and Jesus will always stay with you... until the end of the Age, and from then, forever formed and free... in a world of everlasting life, without sin or death or mistakes or war or illness... Very soon, I am sure.
Kingdom Come... on earth, as in Heaven...
