okay, is anyone else starting to get tired of their friends family or even new people they meet trying to help them with tips, suggestions and whatnot about being single as if its some kind of disability or disease.
It is nice to see a guy feeling this way as well. Back in September I finally gave in to my friends' concerns that I didn't "have a life" because I preferred doing things that made me feel more fulfilled (i.e., schoolwork, online tutorials that help me in my career, chatting on boards with people who are likeminded, hiking, playing tennis, etc.) to going on dates with men who would waste my time. They felt I was being too picky because I wanted someone who would accept my position in life (mother of a teenager and toddler, career woman, no desire to have future children naturally), who didn't feel a need to go eat dinner but instead go hiking or to the batting cages - something that kept me moving instead of sitting still, and who wouldn't judge me for my past. I took them up on their offers for blind dates, second guessing myself that maybe I was just being faithful to the Lord and waiting for what I believe He promised, and learned a lot about myself (such as that I don't like paying for dates' meals when they ask to be set up with me!, that I am a sucker for having paid for the meals out of sheer desire to leave the location and return home, and that I have finally increased my "Not for me" radar level and use it accurately instead of feeling guilted into second dates with people I have no desire to even be friends with let alone date. However, it was the most miserable month of my life.
At the end of the last date I went on, I sat my friends down and explained I don't live by their codes of conduct. I have my own, and my code doesn't align with most people's codes because there are certain things I don't believe are acceptable until after marriage, which drastically limits the pool of candidates, other things that I know I won't settle for if the man does not have (such as a career, manners, means to support himself, an understanding that sock art is only impressive when there aren't other around to witness it, and a determination that he will only settle for the one God designed for him). They were upset at first and held to their feelings, but now have agreed to let me be and stop asking me why I won't just start looking around for someone.
I think the problem is that without God in their lives and as the center, people feel they HAVE to be with someone to be complete. I know that before I was married the first time I had God but He was not the center and this is what led to me marrying the wrong individual and living a life of hell for a decade. Now that He is my center and now that I understand what not following HIS will for my life can lead to, I want to be in His perfect will, and if that means being single for 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years, I am okay with that because my completeness comes from HIM not from what a man will provide me. By being complete, and the guy being complete, we will be better equipped for a stable and successful marriage in which we support one another, esteem one another, and uplift one another, instead of bringing each other down because we need to constantly provide approval for one another.
Just my thoughts. Thanks for bringing this up!
~Shell
