Is this okay or do you consider it lying?

[Helga1027]

Hello,

When speaking to company on behalf of a fellow church member, is it okay to say that person is our mother or daughter or sister or brother?

I was asked me to call a software company about an issue with software that we purchased for a little girl in our church, and tell them them that we ordered their software for our daughter, in case they might question why her network or ip address is different than our home's, since we also use the same software on our home computers.

I felt it was lying and refused.

I was told "she is your daughter in the Lord". I don't feel comfortable to call a company on behalf of someone else (to help that person with whatever issue) and say they are my brother/sister/mother/father ....just because "that person is my mother/sister/brother/father" in the Lord. I feel it is wrong.

Please share your opinion.

 

[Andrewofthetribe]

Hello,

When speaking to company on behalf of a fellow church member, is it okay to say that person is our mother or daughter or sister or brother?

I was asked me to call a software company about an issue with software that we purchased for a little girl in our church, and tell them them that we ordered their software for our daughter, in case they might question why her network or ip address is different than ours, since we also use the same software on our computers.

I felt it was lying and refused.

I was told "she is your daughter in the Lord". I don't feel comfortable to call a company on behalf of someone else (to help that person with whatever issue) and say they are my brother/sister/mother/father ....just because "that person is my mother/sister/brother/father" in the Lord. I feel it is wrong.

Please share your opinion.

lol I would call your church thrifty

 

[Dave-W]

If you feel it is wrong, you cannot do it in faith; and Paul wrote that whatever is not from faith is sin.

 

[Helga1027]

If you feel it is wrong, you cannot do it in faith; and Paul wrote that whatever is not from faith is sin.

Thank you Dave. That is what I have tried to explain, but using the meat to idols situation that Paul mentions. Just to clarify, when I mentioned our computers, I meant we use the software on our home computers (edited my post)

Instead of understanding, I am accused of having a religious spirit, among other things.

 

[Andrewofthetribe]

Thank you Dave. That is what I have tried to explain, but using the meat to idols situation that Paul mentions. Just to clarify, when I mentioned our computers, I meant we use the software on our home computers (edited my post)

Instead of understanding, I am accused of having a religious spirit, among other things.

If this church was one of my sons I would call him a man who knows how the world works, what indeed is in a name? Can it be proved through scripture that all Christians are brothers and sisters?

 

[~Anastasia~]

Hello and welcome to CF!

If no one is trying to use software beyond the license they purchased, then there wouldn't be any sin in you simply calling and trying to help (though you said you're not comfortable doing this). But simply saying you're trying to help a child in your church the software was purchased for shouldn't be a problem.

But asking you to lie outright (especially if the situation is innocent anyway) doesn't seem right for the sake of your conscience.

It is sad that instead of respecting your conscience, they seem to be heaping more charges upon you.

By the way, if you need any help finding your way around the forums, or have questions about how any of it works, feel free to ask and we will do our best to help.

 

[Greg J.]

The software company has a product that they have chosen to make available under certain conditions (in simple terms, you pay them money). They have made it available within some clear, and some not-so-clear, standards of what can be expected for that transaction—and if they've done their homework, their expectations will be backed up by laws.

A clear violation would be buying that software and giving it to everyone in your neighborhood because you consider them all brothers and sisters. A situation where it was clearer that you were meeting their conditions would be if you were buying it for your step-daughter.

It is not your definition of daughter than matters, it is the software company's. The software belongs to them before the transaction is complete. Explain the situation to them and ask them if you would be meeting their expectations for what they are willing to accept for that transaction. Ask them if the girl counts as a daughter in their eyes.

If the person who asked you to do the purchase doesn't want you to do that, then the person is revealing a guilty conscience or knows something about the proposed transaction that you don't, and need it explained to you.

You could suggest that you just want to find out what the company's offer is in more detail, because you don't believe it was clearly specified in what you know of their sales offer.

 

[Root of Jesse]

Hi, and welcome to CF. It seems as if you bought software for someone, and they need help using it, but are too young to express their needs succinctly. Why not just say so. No need to provide unnecessary info, unless asked. In that case, you can just say you bought it for someone's child and are trying to help them use it. If there's a privacy issue, then the parents should call.

 

[Helga1027]

Thank you for your opinions and for your kindness.

This person does not see it at all from any other perspective. I said to him I am sure I can fix the issue without having to lie and then was told that along with a religious spirit, I think I am more holy/spiritual and that I was being stupid. I think he feels that I am making a judgement on him because I feel it is wrong. In order to have peace I would have to have done what he said, call and say it was for my daughter. I just can't.

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[Helga1027]

Hi, and welcome to CF. It seems as if you bought software for someone, and they need help using it, but are too young to express their needs succinctly. Why not just say so. No need to provide unnecessary info, unless asked. In that case, you can just say you bought it for someone's child and are trying to help them use it. If there's a privacy issue, then the parents should call.

Thanks for the welcome. We bought it for our computers and for her to use it also. We could install it on ours but her parents were not able to do the installation on hers. The person who asked me to call specifically said to say it was for my daughter, to avoid an problems in case the issue was the different ip address or that she was not on our computer network

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[Root of Jesse]

Thanks for the welcome. We bought it for our computers and for her to use it also. We could install it on ours but her parents were not able to do the installation on hers. The person who asked me to call specifically said to say it was for my daughter, to avoid an problems in case the issue was the different ip address or that she was not on our computer network

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Did you purchase multiple licenses? It sounds as though (though I'm not saying this in an accusatory manner) they don't have rightful use of the software, is that why they want to say it's your daughter? I don't get it. As an example, you can purchase a software for virus protection for all your laptops and PCs at home, if you have three computers, you purchase three licenses. Then you can rightfully install the software. More importantly, you have the right to call the company for support issues. If you buy one license, you only have the right to install on one, and only have the right to call about that computer, in fact you have to register the computer it's installed on.

So my question is, did you buy legal licenses for all parties? If so, unless there's privacy issues, you should be able to represent the other computer for support purposes.

 

[Helga1027]

Did you purchase multiple licenses? It sounds as though (though I'm not saying this in an accusatory manner) they don't have rightful use of the software, is that why they want to say it's your daughter? I don't get it. As an example, you can purchase a software for virus protection for all your laptops and PCs at home, if you have three computers, you purchase three licenses. Then you can rightfully install the software. More importantly, you have the right to call the company for support issues. If you buy one license, you only have the right to install on one, and only have the right to call about that computer, in fact you have to register the computer it's installed on.

So my question is, did you buy legal licenses for all parties? If so, unless there's privacy issues, you should be able to represent the other computer for support purposes.

From what he is saying (NOW, weve been arguing about it since ) he just didn't want me to have to get into a long explanation of who/where the software is being installed. He said the company might question why he's installing this student version when he has the professional version on his computer . But why did he mention a concern about the different ip address and network then? Confused.

He also said Jesus called the devil the father of the pharisees and the disciples brothers......so maybe I am wrong?

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[Root of Jesse]

From what he is saying (NOW, weve been arguing about it since ) he just didn't want me to have to get into a long explanation of who/where the software is being installed. He said the company might question why he's installing this student version when he has the professional version on his computer . But why did he mention a concern about the different ip address and network then? Confused.

He also said Jesus called the devil the father of the pharisees and the disciples brothers......so maybe I am wrong?

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Well, being a computer professional, I'd ask the same question (Why are you installing the student version when you have the professional version?).
It seems fishy to me, and I would probably wash my hands of it.

 

[Helga1027]

Well, being a computer professional, I'd ask the same question (Why are you installing the student version when you have the professional version?).
It seems fishy to me, and I would probably wash my hands of it.

He has the professional one on his computer and he purchased this student one for her. But then why the need to say it's my daughter when calling, you could buy it for anyone in that case, no? next time he asks me to make another call like this, I will say nothing to him, I will call but not mention the daughter /mother etc relationship. It's not the first time I was asked to say something like that.

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[wayfaring man]

If we say something in a way that we anticipate the hearer will interpret it one way, while we really mean it in another - are we not speaking with a forked tongue ?!

Oh but don't the scriptures say - 'be wise as serpents' ? - Matthew 10:16

Yea, and that - 'wisdom is justified of all her children' too. - Luke 7:34-35

What's really at stake - a few dollars - or an unclean conscience ?

When our priorities are out of order - so is our life.

It was most likely right to refuse.

 

[Papias]

Don't be confused. He asked you to lie. Lying is not OK. You are right to refuse to lie for him. Period.

All his talk about what he said or what you are or whatever is just his excuses to cover the fact that he asked you to behave unethically.

Lying for this or for that is still lying. Kudos to you for having both integrity and a backbone.

-Papias

 

[Helga1027]

Don't be confused. He asked you to lie. Lying is not OK. You are right to refuse to lie for him. Period.

All his talk about what he said or what you are or whatever is just his excuses to cover the fact that he asked you to behave unethically.

Lying for this or for that is still lying. Kudos to you for having both integrity and a backbone.

-Papias

Thank you for your support of my stance

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[Helga1027]

If we say something in a way that we anticipate the hearer will interpret it one way, while we really mean it in another - are we not speaking with a forked tongue ?!

Oh but don't the scriptures say - 'be wise as serpents' ? - Matthew 10:16

Yea, and that - 'wisdom is justified of all her children' too. - Luke 7:34-35

What's really at stake - a few dollars - or an unclean conscience ?

When our priorities are out of order - so is our life.

It was most likely right to refuse.

Exactly. I said to him if I feel it's sin, and he doesn't, then why doesn't he respect or honor that and call himself. He said I am being a pharisee and dumb.

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[~Anastasia~]

He said I am being a pharisee and dumb.

Forgive me please but, is this person your pastor or does he have any kind of spiritual authority over or guidance responsibility toward you?

 

[rasplundjr]

Tech support can smell lies... we hear them all the time. Be honest with them. Did you yourself purchase the software for the child or did an organization for which you are a representative party?
If the answer to either question is yes it doesn't matter your relationship. Truth be told it shouldn't prove to be an issue as long as you can prove there is a license. "We purchased this software and we are having problems installing it on the computer is was purchased for." No lies no lengthy explanations. Have the model of computer and the operating system version handy for the techs to best help you.

Since this was bought for a child I'm guessing there hardware or OS might be a little older did anyone check the system requirements to make sure it can support the software?