is there really a second virginity?

[New Creation]

Since we're on the subject, I have somewhat of a graphic question:

I'm getting married. We're both...well...I think there will be bleeding involved. We're spending the first several days of the honeymoon at a Bed & Breakfast (which, incidentally, we'll be their 56th couple honeymooning this year). I want to be good guests at the house, and I've got a couple of practical concerns (I hope not to elaborate...). I'm wondering if any married people might have any ideas what to do?

Desi says Lay on a towel- but bring YOUR OWN towels, kay?
Congratulations. Pray and take it easy.

 

[Sketcher]

Forgiveness is not changing what has been done so much as taking the blame of what has been done away. If you kill someone you can be forgiven but you will live with having done the act for the rest of your days.

Yessir.

 

[jeepgirl1]

Would you be able to provide medical data on this? I am seeing someone who was raped in the past. It bothers me JUST A LITTLE that when I marry her I won't have that blood covanate.

It isn't important. I just feel that God made women with that skin because marriage is an important covenate. I think of breaking the skin as a comfirmation of the covanate. It doesnt bother me though. I mean it isn't something I would lose sleep over. It is just one of those things that would be nice to cherish with my wife.

Dude, if it wasn't important to you in the slightest, you wouldn't bring it up.

I just want to point out that even if she hadn't been raped, there is a great chance that her hymen had already been broken in the course of everyday living or that she might not even have had one to begin with. Women are a lot more active these days then in the days of yore, greatly increasing the chances that hymen can break as a result of non-sexual activity. The hymen can no longer be used as a true indicator of virginity. Men are just going to have to use the same indicator that women have been using all along: trust that when she says she's a virgin, she actually is.

 

[mathias1979]

The great thing about God is that with his grace and forgiveness, as long as you are truely sorry, you are a virgin again in his eyes. That's all that really matters.

-Matt

 

[desi]

The great thing about God is that with his grace and forgiveness, as long as you are truely sorry, you are a virgin again in his eyes. That's all that really matters.

-Matt

Unless you have contracted AIDS, Human Papilloma Virus, Hepatitis B, Herpes, or you name it other VD you are destined to share with future sex partners. There is a practical reason virginity is desirable for marriage.

 

[mathias1979]

Unless you have contracted AIDS, Human Papilloma Virus, Hepatitis B, Herpes, or you name it other VD you are destined to share with future sex partners. There is a practical reason virginity is desirable for marriage.

Alright, yes, physically there are some consequences that can never be erased. But what I'm saying that if you screw up, God is willing to wipe the spiritual slate clean.

And also for the record, I'm not using that idea to endorse pre-marital sex in any way. But it's a great hope for those who have made some mistakes.

-Matt

 

[ischus]

Forgiveness is different than consequences... God believes in both.

 

[Sketcher]

The great thing about God is that with his grace and forgiveness, as long as you are truely sorry, you are a virgin again in his eyes. That's all that really matters.

-Matt

Well, as blameless as a virgin in His eyes. The slate is clean, but the sex is not reversed.

 

[mathias1979]

Well, as blameless as a virgin in His eyes. The slate is clean, but the sex is not reversed.

Again, I'm sorry if I'm not putting my point clear enough. I'm not saying God wipes away the physical consequences...but he does wipe away the spiritual consequences. And in the end, it is our spirits that receive the reward of eternal life. Some day we will stand at the gates of heaven. If we are unmarried, and physically not a virgin, God will not base his judgement on this. He will look at our spirit, and if that is clean, then he makes his judgement. In his eyes, he will see the person as a virgin, even if physically they are not.

I think ischus gets what I am trying to say.

-Matt

 

[applepowerpc]

God doesn't necessarily wipe away the emotional consequences, either. And those consequences are not limited to that one person.

 

[ischus]

I think ischus gets what I am trying to say.

-Matt

perfectly, and I agree completely with you.

 

[mathias1979]

God doesn't necessarily wipe away the emotional consequences, either. And those consequences are not limited to that one person.

emotions are part of our physical being.

-Matt

 

[rainbowprism]

Ok well I got a question to throw into the mix here....before I became a Christian I was sexually active, I just never had anyone tell me that I shouldn't and I thought it was ok. When I became Christian I totally have done a 180...I'm waiting till marriage and I have recieved prayer from pastors to break the soul ties that I had incurred from previous encounters, I am physically healthy (no disease or anything like that), and wear a purity ring and all that jazz. Now according to God I am a virgin. If and when I start dating someone did I need to tell them about my past or tell them I'm a virgin?

 

[mathias1979]

Well since significant others are usually concerned with virginity in the physical sense, I would think if the question came up, you should admit to not being a virgin.

-Matt

 

[makkulu]

Now according to God I am a virgin. If and when I start dating someone did I need to tell them about my past or tell them I'm a virgin?

I don't want to start us off on a big "why date, what is dating? (and therefore what should you tell your dates about yourself?)" debate, but I don't see that your sexual history is someone's business just because you happen to be dating them. I don't think that your question can be answered in a "always tell them you are", or "always tell them you are not" kinda way. It would depend on factors such as why he is asking, (is it just curiosity?) how serious the relationship is, your future plans together and so on. I myself would not ask someone questions about their sexual history (including "are you a virgin?") unless I was already thinking seriously of marrying them, and thus it was important for us to discuss anything that needed discussing for that reason. Context context context!

At some point you would want to know a future spouse's attitudes too; I assume you won't want to marry someone if they did not see you and your purity the same way that God does, so as the relationship deepens I guess it would come up that way; but what you answer and how and when are all going to depend on where you are both coming from, what is motivating his questions and your answers, and where you both feel God is leading you and so on. I don't at all mean to say you should lie, it's just that virginity seems to be a loaded concept to many folks these days, so in terms of what you tell and to whom, remember not to cast your pearls (including such personal information) before swine, so to speak. Last thing you want is someone labelling you and putting you in a box, esp since God doesn't see things that way. Trust your intuition, keep the context of the relationship in mind (whatever stage it is at) and listen to Jesus, is my best suggestion on that one!

I know some people (of both sexes) who just come right out and ask everyone they are friends with and or vaguely interested in at all if they are virgins or not; and get quite offended if anyone doesn't give them a straight answer (and I deliberately never do!!) . It intrigues me. I mean, surely the answers given to questions like that depend on the nature of the relationship and whether the person asking the question has a need to know! I totally believe in valuing virginity, but I have met the occasional person who seems to figure that it is therefore something to be added to their "christian cv" and thus is just as appropriate to ask about as "do you speak in tongues?". Eeeek. Last I heard, sex is a really private thing.

Makk

 

[SarahAblaze06]

I think there should be honesty between the two of you, and that you should tell him that you have had sex but that you have been consecrated to God and have been living purely ever since you made that covenant with him.
I wouldn't go into much detail tho..there is a scripture in the bible that give the general idea that it is detestable to even mention what the evil do in secret... at that point you were nto livivng a holy lifestyle but now, behold, all things are made new!! if you tell him every little detail it could spark insecurity/bad ideas/ and otehr things i have seen many people go thru.
just leav it to mostly the straight facts and focus on ya'lls passionate love, not the "imitation passion" you once got hold of. it prolly funner talking with them aobut things that are good and wonderful and will happen versus the bad things of the past!!

 

[rainbowprism]

I understand what you guys are saying and I wasn't posting because I was intending to be decietful but I just don't want to get "put in a box" as another poster said. As far as I'm concerned God has separatred me as far as the east is from the west concerning my purity and the way I relate to relationships now.

 

[SarahAblaze06]

awesome rainbowprism!!! totally got ya. lotsf luv

 

[twistacy]

THANK YOU RAINBOW PRISM!! i also have been thinking about that concern too!! i admit-was at one point sexually active, but since then-has pulled the e-brake and smoothly done a complete 180. i honestly believe in my heart that you have every single right to claim that you are a virgin. like someone else stated whys it their business unless it gets serious. i think you can say you are, and when you do get serious and the idea of marrige comes to mind, and the topic comes up again, then you may elaborate on the fact. you once were active, and now taken to become a second virgin, and a serious one at that!! GOD BLESS YOU!!

 

[invisiblebabe]

As far as second virginity:

The Bible speaks of marriage (as it should be) as a living example of the relationship Christ has with the Church: Christ represents the Bridegroom, and the Body of Christ is the Bride.

It also says that Christ is preparing the Body to be a pure virgin, when He comes back.

Obviously, the Body of Christ is not pure or innocent without Christ's blood. The Body has sinned many times over, so therefore it is not a "virgin."

Yet, it is clear that Christ will make it so....although it can't be in a physical sense, really, 'cause the consequences of the sins will not be erased.... for the simple reason that you can't go back in time.

The Bible still says the Body of Christ will be a virgin, though.

So, I would conclude it is similar with virginity, non-metaphorically speaking. The sin (the action itself) can't be undone, but God can most definitely fully heal the emotional and spiritual consequences.