is there really a second virginity?

[gracefaith]

Virginity is a very special thing and anyone who waits until marriage deserves respect and honor. I do think, however, that we tend to put a little too much emphasis on a physical state (note how the thread very quickly became an anatomy lesson) rather than a spirtual state. Someone can technically be a virgin but engage in acts of sexual intimacy and thus not be spiritually pure.

Bottom line, God requires CHASTISTY of us at all stages of our life. We are refrain from consensual sexual activity outside of marriage and we are to treat our bodies and that of our mates with honor. Our physical state might change, either by our will (by mistake or marriage) or against it (in the case of rape,) and we cannot change that fact after it has occured. Sexual purity, a state of chastity, however, is attainable by anyone who acknowledges the sacredness of sex within marriage and acts accordingly.

If you are currently chaste, recognize that you are pure in the eyes of God and state it proudly. Your particular physical state is irrelevant. In one way or another, we have all sinned and been redeemed! I think, while it is not information that needs to be told to everyone, it is better to be honest about such things with the person you are with rather than risk them feeling mislead by telling them later.

 

[E-beth]

Sexual activity is like a Pandora's box. Once you open that box, you cannot put the contents back in. Rape is the stealing of those contents. Never again is the victim innocent of the knowledge of the act of intercourse. That is why I think that rape is severely underrated and should be treated as murder.

However, in all cases, even if you are no longer a technical virgin, you can remain a decided virgin. What that means is, even if you were raped, or have repented of past sexual activity, you can remain obedient to God's demand for pre-marital chastity. Moreover, He blesses those that do decide to take this path. Yes, you can be forgiven and your sin washed away. But the memories and emotions that you have already felt will remain. There is more to sexual intimacy than just the act of intercourse. This is not an excuse to sin however. God has expressly said that if you KNOW something is wrong and do it anyway, it is sin. Just because you can be forgiven for it later is not what Christianity and forgiveness is all about.

 

[ardeur]

I have heard of people claiming a second virginity. Personally, I know that when I do something wrong it is very hard for me to forgive myself and move on. I know that if I had sex, then I wouldn't be able to claim a second virginity. If I did it, I did it. There's no taking it back.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Personally, I know that when I do something wrong it is very hard for me to forgive myself and move on. I know that if I had sex, then I wouldn't be able to claim a second virginity. If I did it, I did it. There's no taking it back.

Awww... I can relate to this.... I also have a very hard time forgiving myself for some of my mistakes in past relationships.

Yet, God offers forgiveness for everything wrong that we've ever done, be it in relationships or otherwise. It's like someone offering you a 10 carat diamond ring for free... you know you could never afford it on your own, and so you feel guilty for taking it... but you'd be a fool not to take it.

Such is the same with God's forgiveness, only infinity times more, I've come to see.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

I don't believe in "born again virginity" as technical virginity has little to do with sexual purity and more with whether or not one's hymen is still intact (i.e., has not been torn from sexual intercourse). I believe in purity, which goes far beyond whether or not you go "all the way". Purity is not what you do, it's who you are. How many aspects of physical intimacy are you willing to save for your future spouse? It's one thing to be a virgin (clinically speaking) on your wedding night, it's quite another to have been chaste until you say "I do". While it's preferable to abstain from intercourse until marriage, other sexual acts carry physical and emotional consequences just as going all the way does.

So, the question shouldn't be whether or not someone is technically a virgin and whether you can be a "born again" virgin. The question should be how much are you willing to give up to God until your wedding night? How many aspects of sexual intimacy do you want to keep locked away until the appropriate time? How special do you want your honeymoon to be?

 

[Marie D]

Would you be able to provide medical data on this? I am seeing someone who was raped in the past. It bothers me JUST A LITTLE that when I marry her I won't have that blood covanate.

It isn't important. I just feel that God made women with that skin because marriage is an important covenate. I think of breaking the skin as a comfirmation of the covanate. It doesnt bother me though. I mean it isn't something I would lose sleep over. It is just one of those things that would be nice to cherish with my wife.

IMHO there are *three* types or degrees of virginity - the physical (hymen), the spiritual (being without lustful thought or intent) and the secon dary (having fornicated but *genuinely* repented).

A girl who was raped in circumstances that were not a lustful situation that got out of control, or something that she started and later regretted, may have lost her physical virginity but she's still a spiritual virgin. If the physical situation concerns you both she could perhaps have minor surgery to restore the blood covenant. My sister had this after a horse riding accident.

With regard to the original post, if a person is considering sexual activity and wondering whether they can later be forgiven and gain a 'second virginity', I don't see it because IMHO she is deliberately planning something bad. I pray you can withstand Satan's temptations!

 

[Iceman_Aragorn]

What would you say to a person who in their weakest moment betrayed their second virginity. I have a friend who decided on second virginity after being raped at a young age and living a sinful life for a while until becoming a Christian about 2 years ago. However, she recently made a terrible mistake, one that made her feel like 'the dirtiest person on earth' and the like, and she truly regreted it. She felt like she betrayed herself and God. She knew it was wrong before and during, but only after did the gravity of the decision reach her. Do you think a 'third' virginity could exist (for those of you who believe in a second virginity to begin with)? How can she overcome this? Do you think she could yet reach a point where she could legitimately feel as if she was worthy and pure in the eyes of her future husband and in her own eyes (without being self-deluding)?
(The really sad thing is that it was a supposedly Christian guy that was involved in her big mistake)

 

[Mr.Cheese]

To the OP.

I think the "second virginity" is more of a realization that losing one's virginity does not have to mean losing self-respect as well.

 

[gracefaith]

What would you say to a person who in their weakest moment betrayed their second virginity. I have a friend who decided on second virginity after being raped at a young age and living a sinful life for a while until becoming a Christian about 2 years ago. However, she recently made a terrible mistake, one that made her feel like 'the dirtiest person on earth' and the like, and she truly regreted it. She felt like she betrayed herself and God. She knew it was wrong before and during, but only after did the gravity of the decision reach her. Do you think a 'third' virginity could exist (for those of you who believe in a second virginity to begin with)? How can she overcome this? Do you think she could yet reach a point where she could legitimately feel as if she was worthy and pure in the eyes of her future husband and in her own eyes (without being self-deluding)?
(The really sad thing is that it was a supposedly Christian guy that was involved in her big mistake)

We all make mistakes (even the same one more than once) but as long as we are honest in our commitment to try and do better, God forgives us again and again. If He only gave us one chance (or, in this case, two chances) to get it right, none of us would make it. God has mercy on her. Tell her to have some mercy for herself.