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Is there anyone there?

anjelica

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Thankyou Winter. Things tend to get better for a bit, but never fully better. But then something will happen and it seems relentless.some days I have great grief and fear. Other days I feel so much joy and hope.

I am somglad to be back at my own parish Church, and yesterday morning I was told by one of the ladies how much they had missed me. That was so nice to hear.

I do not think there is any easy answer to any of this. I just would like you all to stay with me if you can, because I feel so lonely and sometimes feel so afraid. Hugs.
 
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Michie

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We love and care about you angelica. Continued prayers! We will be here. :)
Thankyou Winter. Things tend to get better for a bit, but never fully better. But then something will happen and it seems relentless.some days I have great grief and fear. Other days I feel so much joy and hope.

I am somglad to be back at my own parish Church, and yesterday morning I was told by one of the ladies how much they had missed me. That was so nice to hear.

I do not think there is any easy answer to any of this. I just would like you all to stay with me if you can, because I feel so lonely and sometimes feel so afraid. Hugs.
 
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anjelica

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Well I have something to report. This morning we went to mass at the church where we had been put at the back is because there was a funeral at our parish church. We sat at the back but after mass my husband rang the priest because I had become confused and I had left the church without having communion. I did not know where I was and just felt bad. The priest told my husband that he had had an idea and that we were to sit in the future next to Eddie on the organ. From there we will have plenty of room and father will bring Communion to us. I immediately felt happy The costs it is more peaceful there and I realised Where is great joy Zatz I would be able to sit with the organist and play my woodwind instrument. This is what I have been longing to do. So I can only say that this must have been the spirit of God guiding father. I get on very well with the organist and it will be wonderful to sit next to him and hopefully to make music with him. I play all kinds of music both traditional and modern. I play mediaeval music and also Celtic music. I have played my instrument at my old parish church for the Sunday evening mass many times and so I am overjoyed that this now may be a possibility again. I know that some people wanted me to play my instrument in mass so this is all good news. Suddenly everything feels good because I now have access to 2 churches. Father was very kind and had been tripled in his conscience.
I am using my voice recognition to make this post so I hope it works properly. I find it very difficult to think and speak all at once so might post may not be very good. Please keep up the prayers because my client nurse is causing me a lot of grief. Losing your site is very difficult.
 
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anjelica

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I want to add that I am now writing a book called eternal light my journey into blindness. My first poetry book was called just eternal light and people seemed to really want it. So now I can tell of my spiritual journey into blindness. It will emphasise the light in the darkness and how the light shines on in the darkness.
 
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Fantine

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I am so happy that you may be able to play some duets with your organist.

When Mother Teresa died in 1997, our South Dakota church had a memorial Mass in her honor. A bassoonist wanted to play a duet with me on the piano. We chose "Panis Angelicus." It was my one and only duet with a bassoonist (only lived in SD for two years) but I can still remember the haunting, mournful sound of the bassoon.

When I was on mission in Guatemala, all of our scholarship students were taking recorder lessons, and often came up and asked me to play duets on the keyboard with them. My Spanish is not very strong, but Music was our common language.

It makes me happy to think of the joy you will bring the members of your parish.

And I am thrilled that you are writing a book. Create Space, the print-on-demand site I was telling you about (Amazon subsidiary) will distribute throughout Europe. Remember that I can format the book for you and sat it up if you need help.
 
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anjelica

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Thank you Fantine. That may be very useful. I may talk to you in a private message. Please could you continue to post songs for me because they inspire me. I am not sure yet where all this is leading and I am being guided by God on all of it. All that I know is that God wants me to write and this has already happened. Please may we talk via private messages? Thank you
 
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Fantine

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Yes. I am getting ready to leave for work in about ten minutes, but send me a note and I will respond at lunchtime. And I will continue to look for songs.

I am so glad you have a voice recognition program. I knew an elderly priest who used one called "DragonSpeak" to compose his homilies.

Yours was absolutely perfect. The text was correctly spelled and grammatically correct.
 
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Stabat Mater dolorosa

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That's great news - Father has clearly had been thinking about the situation [ or maybe someone had prodded him and told him to DO something sensible about it :)]

I'm sad to say this but based on his uncharitable and rude behaviour in the past and Angelica's recent correspondence with clergy higher up in the hierarchy it only sounds as if he's been told to act more in line with the values of the church not so much like it's a change of wind or anything...

I might be wrong though.
 
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anjelica

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You might also be right Stabat. It was not due to any contact from the chairman of the pastoral Parish Council as this person had not managed to contact father despite many attempts to contact him. When my husband spoke to father last night, father said that he would not be doing anything or thinking about it until after he came back from his holidays which would be in a few weeks time. He appears to have had A change of mind as he went into the church last night after my husband's phone call to see where we might be able to sit. I truly do not know what was behind his change in attitude . I am just glad to now have somewhere to sit that is comfortable and where I will not constantly be run into by many people and little children. I will also be away from the shrieking and so it will be more restful. I am prepared to believe that father truly had twinges in his conscience but time will tell.
 
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anjelica

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On thinking further about this and after your comment Stabat I am beginning to feel rather uncomfortable again. I am not sure that I can truly trust father because he was very hard hearted and on the day that he moved to me he knew I could not see to move to the place where he wanted me to go. My husband had already moved a fair distance away from me but father did not guide me to where he wanted me to be. I was exceedingly disorientated and confused. He showed no mercy. I do not understand this. What matters to him is this a mouse and nothing else. Maybe he does not like disabled people cluttering up the front of the church. Maybe we look to to untidy but I don't know. I feel I don't know anyone any more these days. I do not know who I can trust. At least though I do still have a place at my old parish church and it is just the heavy doors that are the problem there. I do not think that there is any ideal place and we simply hath to make the best of it.
 
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Stabat Mater dolorosa

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On thinking further about this and after your comment Stabat I am beginning to feel rather uncomfortable again. I am not sure that I can truly trust father because he was very hard hearted and on the day that he moved to me he knew I could not see to move to the place where he wanted me to go. My husband had already moved a fair distance away from me but father did not guide me to where he wanted me to be. I was exceedingly disorientated and confused. He showed no mercy. I do not understand this. What matters to him is this a mouse and nothing else. Maybe he does not like disabled people cluttering up the front of the church. Maybe we look to to untidy but I don't know. I feel I don't know anyone any more these days. I do not know who I can trust. At least though I do still have a place at my old parish church and it is just the heavy doors that are the problem there. I do not think that there is any ideal place and we simply hath to make the best of it.

This priest should get a angry phone from Papa Francis.
This I suspect would make his holiness very angry and upset.

This is like THE opposite of what the pope himself preaches !
 
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